Living in my bed - any advice?

Karilynn · Post by **Karilynn** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 6:45 am

Ok so here is my dilemma, and trust me, it really is quite the dilemma. About 5 weeks ago, the day after Christmas, I literally had a break down. I have a hard time even thinking back to it, because it was so horrible. I missed 10 days of work and spent about a week and a half in misery. I felt so numb and depressed, I could hardly get out of my bed. I managed to take a shower each day, but that was as far from my bed as I went. I was filled with the scariest thoughts I've ever had and they were so bad that I really was convinced I had lost my mind. Long story short, I spent about 2 weeks practically living in my bed and I found so much comfort in my bed. My laptop and I spent nearly every minute of every day in my bed, miserable, but ironically enough, comfortable under covers and away from the outside world.

Now it is a month later and I still am living in my bed, although feeling much better. The problem is, I work during the week, but before, after, and during the weekends, I am constantly in my bed. I really never go anywhere. People keep telling me that I need to get out of my bed, but I find it really hard to even go into other rooms of my apartment. I know I've developed this habit now of spending all of my time in my bed, because doing so got me through such a hard time.

How do I detach myself from my bed? I feel panicky even sitting in my livingroom. It really is quite the problem. Has anyone else been through this? I am literally bed bound. Not even housebound, but I am bed bound. I am feeling not so great about myself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:17 am

You have clinical depression or maybe agoraphobia or bipolar. These are serious conditions that need to be treated by professionals and not easy to get out of bed on your own when it sounds like you are crashing. If you have a crisis hotline call them to get involved in a mental health agency to get treated or go to the hospital especially if you are planning on hurting yourself or others. I know because I am a Mental Health Case Manager who helps people to rehabilitate and adapt back to life after having a nervous breakdown. I have a serious anxiety/ depression myself and getting counseling and medication for it to help deal with the nervous energy that I have and lack of confidence. People don't understand our problem unless they go through it. Because if someone if having manic symptoms for days where they can't sleep or have strong impulses, then they crash for weeks and have little energy. That is why it is important to get treated.

AmandaJ

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:17 am

(((kari)))) for starters!! One baby step at a time=make little goals, and "climb that mountain you spoke of at the end of your postings" with ONE foot at a time in front of the other. make yourself little goals, "present moment living--nothing too far into future", and present moment step yourself to each LITTLE Goal and then praise all your hard efforts right away. do NOT compare them to any others and do NOT think too far into the future with each STEP forward........later make abit bigger goals---not biggies, but doable little goals. and always always always congratulate your hard efforts to each little goal. one day , even one section of the day=at a time. best wishes to you kari...make it babysteps and little goals . it really is mostly all "small stuff" we must go thru, one thing broken down-to doables,.. at a time.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:23 am

Hi ! I just want to tell you that you are not alone ! I have been stuck in my bed too since December 07 , Im not comfortable leaving msg's on this site but maybe we could chat through emails

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:26 am

Thanks Amanda, but I am not bipolar. I have never had manic symptoms. I know I do have depression and anxiety, but thank you for the input.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:22 am

I wasn't quit as far as you, but what helped me initially was an anti-anxiety med (lorazapam), then an anti-depressant (Zoloft). After about 6 weeks, the Zoloft came on board enough to eliminate the anti-anxiety med.
Dave

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:14 pm

A lot of us go through what your going through. It's no fun lying in bed. You seem
to be depressing and withdrawing from the world.
Try to be more optimistic and do things you love in life. We all need friends and people in
our lives to be happy. The more active you become in your own recovery the better you will become. Don't take life so seriously. Remember laughter is the best medicine ! Life is really great and precious. Try exercising 30 minutes a day outside or just walking. You'll see the world differently. It will raise your self-esteem and you will start feeling better about yourself. Remember motion = emotion. To overcome your fears you need to do something
positive for yourself ! The only way to overcome your fears or insecurities is to understand them and don't let them control you. Your a human being and you deserve to be happy and healthy. Do Positive Affirmations. Your the only one who can help yourself ! If you feel you need help you might want to try finding someone who will encourage you to be your own best friend. Remember anxiety and depressing are habits and they don't control you unless you allow them to.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:33 pm

kari...i cam back to see how u were doing=what other helps others gave. dave's very good post must say------meds can be a great help so we can then begin to be able to help ourselves. also, when i read over your initial post again, as i sometimes am not on the same page as other's needs.....i couldn't help but be abit troubled by your wonderful ending saying you put onto your posts. its lovely lofty saying...but, its the little attempts to even try a baby step=that count in the recovery. it is typical of alot of us to have beautiful deep lofty expectations we aspire to, and love reading/posting...but honestly kari...its our "black and white" typical thinking and huge expectations of ourselves. sooo much better, to praise any small attempt at a baby step , no matter how you fall down right away maybe, and praise yourself----that was a huge attempt!!!!! don't worry about others "expectations of you"...another huge hurdle for us types to try to set aside=and try try try to keep our expectations of ourseves and our attempts at trying to take steps (baby steps first) forward---keep your expectations humble and lower and praise your attempts at even breaking them down further to possible doable wobbly attempts...even when you fall flat on your face=praise your attempts...they are huge, when we get ourselves into these holes. you will get out of this hole kari...you have before...you WILL again. be kind to yourself and patient and praise ANY wobbly step forward (=like you would to a dear little child). we are all children by times.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:54 pm

Hi Karilynn,

Can you identify anything that was really stressful at the time you felt like staying in bed when this first started? It could be multiple things, so not so easy to identify.

Scary obsessive thoughts usually cover something else that is not easy to deal with. The more scary the thought, the more you probably wish to avoid the real concern. I do it alllllll the time:-) I am skilled at avoidance.

I have had obsessive thoughts that lasted weeks at a time. It became more comfortable for me to be alone. And I felt so discouraged afterwards that I was afraid of my own thoughts. At the time I didn't know why they happened. Now i do.

It does get better with time. You're making it to work again. That's a start. And a very big step I think. Just keep moving in the direction you think you need to be, and things will change for the better. You've probably been in a similar place before, and you made it out. You'll make it out this time too.

Best wishes,

Deb

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:36 pm

im glad to hear, ur not bipolar or manic, im glad u mentioned that, that just proves, u know what u are and what ur capable of. thats stregnth. for someone to tell u who they think u are, or what ur dealing with, is not the answer. so i glad u posted back, saying ur Not! everyone falls in a hole. no ones perfect.. and ur definetly not alone, im not at that point to where u've been, but i do think it could get there. i push myself, shakes and breathing hard, and nervousness, i tell myself, im going to be ok, im just nervous, its gonna pass. constantly listen to the tapes. or write it down on a paper what ur feeling. and say to urself" im a strong woman, and theres no way im gonna let anxiety hold me down." for some reason i tell myself that alot.. i work too hard to have this come in my way of my victory. but, again, i too have those days, where it feels like nothing works, and i feel down, so down, im at the ER. just for them to tell me, not to worry so much. i worry about my health 24/7. and i dont like it. but hey, being on here, helps me a great deal. just to let go or everything, and think of something that brings laughter or warms ur heart. right now, mine is my 2wk old niece. shes keeping me occupied. good luck to u, and i wish u nothing but lifes best.