VERBAL ABUSE

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:07 pm

WHY SHOULD I BE BANNED? FOUR TIMES NOW.

Mom of 6 · Post by **Mom of 6** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:17 pm

We are learning here, in this program that being "aggresive", in retaliation, only makes matters worse! I was verbally abused for years, and I certainly was not going to stand up to him by being just as aggressive as he was! However, I walked away from it! And now I'm learning to be "assertive". I found out a long time ago that people who have aggressive type behaviors have "issues", so be it! We all have issues here, right??? We're all in this together

Standing up for ones self doesn't mean "an eye for an eye..." it means "assertively(non argumentative) stating your peace..and then letting go of it!
Take care

Barb G. · Post by **Barb G.** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:24 pm

Good advice Mimi. Malikye can you take some or are you just wanting to do verbal abuse on this thread. So,are you doing the program at all?

Jazelle · Post by **Jazelle** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:45 pm

Hi! There are two types of verbal abuse. Overt abuse which is the outward more yelling type and and covert abuse which is manipulative long-term brainwashing type. Patricia Evans has an eye-opening book called the "Verbally Abusive Relationship".

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:21 pm

JAZELLE IS RIGHT. THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF VERBAL ABUSE. IT HAPPENS IN ALL TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS. CHILDREN WILL SOMETIMES ABUSE THEIR ELDERLY PARENTS. NURSING HOME STAFF OFTEN VERBALY ABUSE THE PATIENTS. TEACHERS OFTEN VERBALLY ABUSE CHILDREN. ABUSERS CAN STOP. THEY MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO DO IT. I ASSUME WE ARE TALKING ABOUT PARTNERS. THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ASSERTIVENESS. THEY ALMOST ALWAYS USE THEIR SELECTIVE LISTENING SKILLS. THE ABUSE USUALLY DOES NOT START UNTIL WOMEN ARE PREGNANT WITH FIRST CHILD. THE ABUSER NEEDS TO GET THAT TO HOLD ON TO THE RELATIONSHIP. HE IS A VERY INSECURE MAN. NOW IF YOU ALLOW THE VERBAL ABUSE TO CONTINUE, THEN COMES THE PHYSICAL ABUSE. AND I ALMOST FORGOT-CONTROLLING. THIS IS THE OVERT ABUSE THE LAST POSTER WAS TALKING ABOUT. THESE RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE SAVED,BUT YOU HAVE TO GET MORE AGGRESSIVE THAN THE ABUSER. DELIBERATELY. IF YOU WANT TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP.IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STAY AND CAN'T BE AGGRESSIVE WITH THESE TYPES,YOU SHOULD PLAN YOUR GETAWAY.......MALIKYE

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:28 pm

I AM NOT ANGRY.HAVE NOTHING TO BE ANGRY ABOUT AT THIS TIME.

Mimigirl · Post by **Mimigirl** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:41 pm

Are you doing the program Malikye or have you finished it and how long ago I am just wondering and I am glad you are not angry.
Mimi

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:58 pm

I HAVE STARTED THE PROGROM TWICE. THE FIRST TIME I WAS WAY TOO SICK TO DO IT. WENT TO THE PSYCHIATRIST. MEDS WORKED FOR ME. THE SECOND TIME WAS SITUATIONAL. I REMOVED MYSELF FROM THE SITUATION. AM BACK TO NORMAL NOW. (NORMAL FOR ME) I AM AT PEACE AND HAPPY. THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN

......................MALIKYE