Does anyone have anxiety about their relationship with their spouse?
I have been having obsessive fears about my husband leaving me or having an affair. Most of the time I know that I am being ridiculous but there are other times when I go into a full fledged anxiety attack. This has been going on for about 7 years. I have been on and off medication. When I am on the medication I do feel a lot better about my relationship but I hate the side effects, especially the weight gain. (Not too good for my particular fear!) I really want to get this under control because I would hate to see my anxiety destroy my marriage. I was just wondering if there was anyone else out there with a similar situation.
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Guest
I know how you feel. My fiance of 7 years left me last summer for another younger girl! He said it was cause ok my problems. 
He did come back,now i'm dealing with he has cheated on me. When is he going to do it again?! I don't really have a answer for you except try to ignore those negative thoughts. Try to do the best you can at your marriage and if anything like that was to happen. You know you gave it your all.
He did come back,now i'm dealing with he has cheated on me. When is he going to do it again?! I don't really have a answer for you except try to ignore those negative thoughts. Try to do the best you can at your marriage and if anything like that was to happen. You know you gave it your all.-
Guest
ECPBop, I can relate with your fears. I too get very insecure about hubby cheating! I have been going through this program for over a year and it has helped me tremendously!!!First of all let me explain, that my first husband had an affair and I know this stems from that betrayal. Have you experienced this in the past??? if so, it may be past hurts?! If not, perhaps it's our self esteem beating us up! I had twins 20 mo. ago and it has reaked havoc on my self esteem and fatigue is laying heavy on me. This has caused alot of depression/anxiety for me. But, as I continue with the program, and counteract those negative "self talk" habits with positive ones, I see what a difference it is making for me. Someone gave me advice awhile back and told me(I believe it was "Lenore"- very inspirational by the way, you should check out her posts 
) to "fix up my hair, take a bubble bath, put on some perfume, etc. Feel good about yourself" I try to do that more often and that is the key!!! building up your OWN self esteem! No one else can do it for us(they can help, but ultimately it's going to be YOU to do it) I hope this helps, I totally understand! Remind YOURSELF DAILY just how special, courageous, important and BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE You're worth it! When we begin to feel good about ourselves, We see everything else more positively!! I hope this helps!! Take care of yourself!
Robin
) to "fix up my hair, take a bubble bath, put on some perfume, etc. Feel good about yourself" I try to do that more often and that is the key!!! building up your OWN self esteem! No one else can do it for us(they can help, but ultimately it's going to be YOU to do it) I hope this helps, I totally understand! Remind YOURSELF DAILY just how special, courageous, important and BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE You're worth it! When we begin to feel good about ourselves, We see everything else more positively!! I hope this helps!! Take care of yourself!Robin
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Guest
Dear ECBop,
Oh yes I so know what you mean!!!! I have that very problem, it is a major problem. I was somewhat abondoned by my adopted mother. She picked her lying boyfriend over me. She isolated me from the world, she ment the world to me. It crushed me, and still does. So now I am still afraid to trust the love of my life that I have found. I catch myself looking for any clues that he might be cheating. I had left him once, for I couldn't deal with the pain of worring that he might leave me. I thought something was going on. But I am with him all the time. I still worry when he gets on the computer. His friends send him porn flicks all the time and I get so upset. He tells me that I am making a big deal out of it and should have an open mind. I don't know if I am right or wrong in feeling this way. He blocks my view when he checks his e-mail. In my heart I know he will never leave me, but I know that if some cute girl came around that he would take the opportunity. But his words seems to be worthy, and tells me that it would never happen. I don't know. Only on my 4th week on the program. So we will see.
Oh yes I so know what you mean!!!! I have that very problem, it is a major problem. I was somewhat abondoned by my adopted mother. She picked her lying boyfriend over me. She isolated me from the world, she ment the world to me. It crushed me, and still does. So now I am still afraid to trust the love of my life that I have found. I catch myself looking for any clues that he might be cheating. I had left him once, for I couldn't deal with the pain of worring that he might leave me. I thought something was going on. But I am with him all the time. I still worry when he gets on the computer. His friends send him porn flicks all the time and I get so upset. He tells me that I am making a big deal out of it and should have an open mind. I don't know if I am right or wrong in feeling this way. He blocks my view when he checks his e-mail. In my heart I know he will never leave me, but I know that if some cute girl came around that he would take the opportunity. But his words seems to be worthy, and tells me that it would never happen. I don't know. Only on my 4th week on the program. So we will see.
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Guest
I want to thank all of you who responded to my concern. It sure made me feel less crazy and alone it this situation."Mom of 6", I really think you hit the nail on the head when you said that it is most likely self esteem. When I am really being honest with myself I know that is what is causing it. I don't work and my husband is at the office with beautiful, young and business savvy women. (Everything I am not!) And I feel very threatened by that.) He is the boss and I know that they want to impress him and be on his good side. The whole thing makes me feel sick to my stomach. I really don't like myself very much when this is happening. I have been told to imagine the worst case scenario and I know I would not die from it. I know I would be OK but I still get completely freaked out by the "what ifs".