Dear AMY:
Sweet lady, you didn't fail - don't go beating yourself up. So what, you didn't go - the dentist & your wisdom teeth ain't going no where sweetie
You can & will reschedule when you're ready - no pressure. You don't need to be hard on yourself - honest. You know why? CAUSE YOU'RE 1 COOL LADY:):)
Let me tell ya: Dentists are 1 of my BIGGEST FEARS(reasons not necessary). Oh girl, I just don't like them - no, never got hurt. My dentist is phenominal actually. LOL, he has this FLAG outside his office/bldg & it is BLUE W/ A BIG SMILING TOOTH. Lord have mercy, lol - when I used to go there(b/4 anxiety disorder triggering) - I would see that flag & smiling tooth, & hahahah "that damn tooth - I hate that tooth" lol. I can laugh now.
I hadn't gone to dentist since right b/4 anxiety disorder triggered in 2005. Now, I didn't NOT GO cause of anxiety. Rather, I was so caught up in all things anxiety(therapy, the program, etc) I just had other things going on. Well, 1 mth ago, I heard my GOD VOICE "you know LENORE, you are recovered & feeling better - you haven't gone to dentist, you are ready to go back". So, I thought about it & I said "yeah, I am". Now, I still didn't like dentists - but it equated to ME GETTING BACK INTO LIFE & LIFE'S NECESSARY but MUNDANE THINGS. In addition, while home & recovering - I took care of my teeth(brushing & flossing) so I was fearful of anything big. I initiated the appt b/4 I could change my mind & didn't tell hubby till after I did. 3 WEEKS AGO, I WENT BACK: I quickly gave him a synopsis(sp) of past 3 yrs. He examined my teeth. They took 2 types of xrays: reg kind & this new lazer thing where they secure something to your head as you're standing & holding something in your mouth & it spins around your head. Girl, I had multiple personalities right there - I was positive self talking myself good, lol lol. Joking, but I was fine. I only had 3 sm cavities - no biggie. He would do them NEXT APPT. That day, after he viewed xrays - I got my teeth cleaned - pos self talk & I was fine. The following week, I went back. I was given 3 needles - for the expected 3 fillings. I closed my eyes & talked positive & calmly to myself. He was only able to do 2 fillings(emergency came in office) & he'd do last one the following week(which was last week). Last Tues evening, I went back & yes, that blue flag & smiling tooth is still there, lol lol. I went in, got 2 needles for 1 tooth(cause of location of the tooth) & he did what he had to do. I laid there, as he's working, w/ my hands clasped on my belly - trusting him(he's been my dentist for 15 yrs).
AMY FRIEND, I can't tell you how afraid I used to be of dentists - the 1 asst/nurse he has was always the 1 in the room when he was working on me for years. Well, she was there the last 3 times I went. After he finished last Tues nite - he left room & went to another patient. I asked the nurse if I could have a quick moment of her time. I told her (w/o all specific details) "Anxiety disorder triggered 3 yrs ago & I've spent that time recovering: therapy & A CBT program = changing those parts of me that create the anxiety disorder. When I used to come here yrs ago - I was always so very afraid - you had to hold my hand - very TIGHTLY lol. I can't thank you enough for that. Now, I am a different woman & while I don't celebrate a dentist's office(much rather see ya having a ****tail in a nice bar lol) - but its a necessary part of life". You know what she said? "Lenore, wow - you are a different person now - you don't need to hold my hand anymore & you were so calm".
Amy, I was terrified of dentists for yrs - cause I had to get a lot of serious work done & well, dentists are dentists, lol. When my God voice spoke to me & I knew I was ready to go back - it was a celebratory thing really - cause it was me getting back into life. Sure, I was a little nervous - but THE SKILLS WORKED & by the last appt on that TUES NITE - I wasn't nervous at all - honest. Any & all nervousness I've ever felt w/ the various appt's thru the yrs & including the 3 recent ones, I wasn't hurt - the understood anxiety didn't hurt me & you know what - when I left that Tues nite, after the appt - I FELT LIKE ROCKY - yep, w/ folks outside - I pumped my hand in the air, did the jig(dance side to side) & said "yes, I did it - I was in control & I am not afraid of the fear of dentists anymore". It was the most empowering thing.
Now, I ain't pressuring you any sooner than till you're ready. I just wanted to inspire you a little bit & make ya laugh. Cause Like Lucinda says in the program - "see the humor in it, laugh at yourself - those feelign can't hurt you". she's right.
Your Friend,
LENORE
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