Linda
I felt exactly like you!! Especially about my children, and was angry everyday that i COULDNT go and do like other moms with my kids. It took years of my life from me, cause I didnt know exactly what it was, or how to change it!!
Till i got this program.. I was scared to do the program to, but Hated the way i was. It wasa HOPE for me.. And it should be for you to!!
I finished the program in 2005,, and now i go, and do, and travel with my husband!! What a glorious revelation to realize, symptoms cant harm you, and you CAN control your thoughts, and your life..
Im no longer the person I was,, Im a NEW person! No anxiety, and enjoying life!!! I hope this for you to!! Do what the program says, make yourself do it! Because you can Overcome this!!! Take care Nelly:)
Are you ever sad about who you've become??
-
Guest
Linda,
In your original post, you had written, "I don't think that I can do it." I believe that that is where the battle line is, in our thinking.
I believe that you can do it, because, otherwise, you wouldn't be involved in this program and you wouldn't be posting messages on this website. It takes courage to go as far as you have already gone.
Like you, I miss the person that I used to be. I want to get him back, and I will. But I've got to believe that I can, before I will make it happen.
I believe in you because you are here with the rest of us, working at it. Most people won't make this effort. They won't take what author M. Scott Peck calls, "The Road Less Traveled."
We are already on that road, and every step that we take is one taken in the right direction.
In your original post, you had written, "I don't think that I can do it." I believe that that is where the battle line is, in our thinking.
I believe that you can do it, because, otherwise, you wouldn't be involved in this program and you wouldn't be posting messages on this website. It takes courage to go as far as you have already gone.
Like you, I miss the person that I used to be. I want to get him back, and I will. But I've got to believe that I can, before I will make it happen.
I believe in you because you are here with the rest of us, working at it. Most people won't make this effort. They won't take what author M. Scott Peck calls, "The Road Less Traveled."
We are already on that road, and every step that we take is one taken in the right direction.
-
Guest
Keep your chin up Linda. I have felt that way too, being sad because of what your life has become. It is sad its not happy thats for sure. But there is a rainbow waiting at the end of this. I too am new to the program and trying to keep the faith while going through it. I am lucky to have such a supportive husband. We are all in this together so its good that we can vent here and people will listen and help thats much more than what some of us had before this program. Its not good to know there are others suffering like we are but its so good to know that we are all going to get better together. The thing that amazes me the most is that the people that are going through this as we are still have the kindness for others who feel the same way. That tells me that our strength and kindness remain the same to be able to give others encouragement when we feel so down our selves. Hang in there Linda.
-
Guest
-
Guest
i, too am distraught over who i am right now. i hope this is just a path to reach greater heights after the storms.
i am overwhelmed with responsibility and i can only stop to be exhausted. nothing gets 100%. i started a business 4 years ago. it has been successful because of 14 hours a day, 6 days a week worth of constant effort. i feel guilty if i take time off, as i may be neglecting something.
i am really not sure what to do. i simply cannot keep up this pace much longer. there has to be a stop on this high speed autobahn. i have tried to find responsible supervisors and management to only subject myself to more insanity. i am afraid i am in for a serious wreck. i had a panic-melt on christmas. just keep going, just keep going. handle the problem and move on. is there any answer?
i have little patience with my loved ones and they tip toe around me trying to be cautious about upsetting me. i hate to think i am doing this to them. i want to love myself and my family again. time is going fast.
any thoughts or other feeling any similar pressures?
i am overwhelmed with responsibility and i can only stop to be exhausted. nothing gets 100%. i started a business 4 years ago. it has been successful because of 14 hours a day, 6 days a week worth of constant effort. i feel guilty if i take time off, as i may be neglecting something.
i am really not sure what to do. i simply cannot keep up this pace much longer. there has to be a stop on this high speed autobahn. i have tried to find responsible supervisors and management to only subject myself to more insanity. i am afraid i am in for a serious wreck. i had a panic-melt on christmas. just keep going, just keep going. handle the problem and move on. is there any answer?
i have little patience with my loved ones and they tip toe around me trying to be cautious about upsetting me. i hate to think i am doing this to them. i want to love myself and my family again. time is going fast.
any thoughts or other feeling any similar pressures?
-
Guest
Ccare1,
Wow, sounds like you've taken on a lot. I don't work for myself,but for the past four years, I've been in a management position that has overwhelmed me. I don't have the energy to have a personal life, or to exercise. I put everything into the job. Big mistake on my part. Since starting the program two weeks ago, I've found myself recognizing my negative thinking, and my anxiety about possible failure, as being real obstacles to my well-being. Today, for the first time in over four years, I approached the job differently, more calmly. Instead of worrying about what I wasn't getting done, I did what I thought was most important, and worked at a comfortable pace. I'm a perfectionist, but today I wasn't a perfectionist. I started letting go, giving up control, in order to take better care of myself.
I don't think that I accomplished any less work than I otherwise would have. In fact, I probably accomplished more, because I didn't keep going over and over and over things.
I have had "a serious wreck," myself, 27 years ago, on Christmas Day, and ended up in a psych hospital for about 10 days. Nothing is worth doing that to myself again. Take it from one who has "been there and done that." Your "fourteen hours a day, six days a week" schedule would undoubtedly put me back there.
When baseball player George Brett retired from the game, sportswriters asked him, "How much money would it take to get you to play another year?" And he said, "There isn't enough money."
I liked that answer. There isn't enough money for me to push myself that hard again. As it is, I'm already pushing myself too hard and paying for it with my health, but in physical ways. It's not worth it. I'm easing up, telling myself that I don't need to succeed in this job in order to be a good person.
You seem to have tremendous drive, high motivation. With that, you can succeed in many fields. But with poor health, it's difficult to succeed in any field.
You said that you feel guilty if you take time off, as if you are neglecting something. I think that you are guilty of neglecting yourself, as well as the balance that we all need in our lives. That's what I've done, too, thinking that securing, and keeping, the job, and impressing everybody with how well I do it, is more important than taking care of me. I've been so wrong. There isn't enough money for me to want to feel as I do now, physically.
You're right, "there has to be a stop on this high speed autobahn." You're the one at the wheel, and you're the one whose foot can step on the brake.
I've found that my road rage has disappeared since I started obeying posted speed limiits, and even driving at speeds under the limit and letting everyone else pass me. I'm trying to apply the same principle to my work, and to other areas of my life, as well. The card for Week 1, Side 2, Number 6 says, "Slow down in all ways." That's not easy for me to do, but I think it's a darn good idea.
Hope I haven't said too much.
BFG
Wow, sounds like you've taken on a lot. I don't work for myself,but for the past four years, I've been in a management position that has overwhelmed me. I don't have the energy to have a personal life, or to exercise. I put everything into the job. Big mistake on my part. Since starting the program two weeks ago, I've found myself recognizing my negative thinking, and my anxiety about possible failure, as being real obstacles to my well-being. Today, for the first time in over four years, I approached the job differently, more calmly. Instead of worrying about what I wasn't getting done, I did what I thought was most important, and worked at a comfortable pace. I'm a perfectionist, but today I wasn't a perfectionist. I started letting go, giving up control, in order to take better care of myself.
I don't think that I accomplished any less work than I otherwise would have. In fact, I probably accomplished more, because I didn't keep going over and over and over things.
I have had "a serious wreck," myself, 27 years ago, on Christmas Day, and ended up in a psych hospital for about 10 days. Nothing is worth doing that to myself again. Take it from one who has "been there and done that." Your "fourteen hours a day, six days a week" schedule would undoubtedly put me back there.
When baseball player George Brett retired from the game, sportswriters asked him, "How much money would it take to get you to play another year?" And he said, "There isn't enough money."
I liked that answer. There isn't enough money for me to push myself that hard again. As it is, I'm already pushing myself too hard and paying for it with my health, but in physical ways. It's not worth it. I'm easing up, telling myself that I don't need to succeed in this job in order to be a good person.
You seem to have tremendous drive, high motivation. With that, you can succeed in many fields. But with poor health, it's difficult to succeed in any field.
You said that you feel guilty if you take time off, as if you are neglecting something. I think that you are guilty of neglecting yourself, as well as the balance that we all need in our lives. That's what I've done, too, thinking that securing, and keeping, the job, and impressing everybody with how well I do it, is more important than taking care of me. I've been so wrong. There isn't enough money for me to want to feel as I do now, physically.
You're right, "there has to be a stop on this high speed autobahn." You're the one at the wheel, and you're the one whose foot can step on the brake.
I've found that my road rage has disappeared since I started obeying posted speed limiits, and even driving at speeds under the limit and letting everyone else pass me. I'm trying to apply the same principle to my work, and to other areas of my life, as well. The card for Week 1, Side 2, Number 6 says, "Slow down in all ways." That's not easy for me to do, but I think it's a darn good idea.
Hope I haven't said too much.
BFG
-
Guest
Ccare1
About 3 years ago, I also felt like a hampster running in my wheel with no knowledge of how to jump out, thinking that if I did, then what??. Well, the panic attacks were full blown and I really had no choice but to stop. You know what? Since then, the time that I spend with my family is so precious and important to me. The time I spend on me is also very precious (working the program). Although I do have 'sad periods', I noticed that I usually get them when I feel overwhelmed and tired.
I'm still working but doing something else, for the same company. Mainly because of agoraphobia, I work from my home but in Sept 07, my boss asked me if I would help out in the field that I used to work and I went and said yes because I felt that we could use the extra money. Big, Huge mistake. So thankful that we learn from those! So I'm finishing off what I started and will not be doing anymore of that type of work because I know me better now and the stress creates all these 'yuck' feelings for me.
It can be very scary to 'jump out' of what you are used to but please, give it a try. YOU are worth it. Give YOU your time and YOU decide how you'll be using it.
Good luck.
About 3 years ago, I also felt like a hampster running in my wheel with no knowledge of how to jump out, thinking that if I did, then what??. Well, the panic attacks were full blown and I really had no choice but to stop. You know what? Since then, the time that I spend with my family is so precious and important to me. The time I spend on me is also very precious (working the program). Although I do have 'sad periods', I noticed that I usually get them when I feel overwhelmed and tired.
I'm still working but doing something else, for the same company. Mainly because of agoraphobia, I work from my home but in Sept 07, my boss asked me if I would help out in the field that I used to work and I went and said yes because I felt that we could use the extra money. Big, Huge mistake. So thankful that we learn from those! So I'm finishing off what I started and will not be doing anymore of that type of work because I know me better now and the stress creates all these 'yuck' feelings for me.
It can be very scary to 'jump out' of what you are used to but please, give it a try. YOU are worth it. Give YOU your time and YOU decide how you'll be using it.
Good luck.