Over reacting, expecting to much or what

lost but lookin · Post by **lost but lookin** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:31 am

I am confused! I am not sure if it is over reacting, expecting to much or what. I love my husband so much. When he can't sleep I rub his head or his back until he falls asleep. I give and do whatever he needs. The problem is he doesn't. Our whole relationship is based off of his needs. We go and do what he wants. We have sex when he wants. He has a very high self esteem and great independence. I base everything I do off of him. If I want or need something I have to brew over it for quite awhile before I get the courage to ask and half the time I just push the need or want away. The weird thing is it is usuallly the man that has the stronger sex drive but, in my marriage my sex drive is stronger. We have sex about every 10 days(his wants).When I have sexual feelings it does not matter. I know he is not cheating and that he loves me. He comes from a family were sex is just not a important issue. As long as I love on him and give him attention he is happy go lucky(not sexual attention)but, if I don't then something is wrong with me. He never returns the attention unless it is time for sex. I have told him I want him to be more passionate about us and I want romance but he still does not respond. Am I over reacting?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:18 am

I think communication is very important in a marriage.
Dont wait or put off how you are feeling! Talk to him about how you feel, what your needs are.
Dont do the blame game, but just put it on the table how you feel inside.
Some men have an ego that needs stroking, but that doesnt mean you leave yourself out.
I dont know how long you have been married, but communication is a HUGE key . Dont brew about it, it just makes you more frustrated.
dont talk about it, when he just gets home from work, or when you go to bed. Pick a time when he and you are relaxed and you can communicate better...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:28 am

Originally posted by Mello Nello:
Dont do the blame game, but just put it on the table how you feel inside....

Nelly, you have no idea how much this one sentence opened my eyes to something in my own life. Thanks a ton!

Danielle

positivity will get you through · Post by **positivity will get you through** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:09 am

I am male, I have forgotten how to have fun. I do not drink, In my past I if I drank I would have less than a half a can of beer or just a sip of a mixed drink....

I never just let loose and have fun. I go to a movie once in a while or out to eat but nothing just to make a fool of myself I wish I could just let go just once.

Maybe you just need to show your husband how to enjoy life, how to be a flirt to enjoy life maybe he has forgotten how to have fun, and or just to let go.