Venting and my anxiety

[Paisleegreen]

Now 26-- I have to agree with you, I do not wear other people's name on my clothing! LOL! I've pretty much taught my children about ignoring name brands. Some of them have their weaknesses. But they'll work it through, but my sons did not need to wear Levi's if Wrangler jeans fit better and are cheaper or no name jeans.

I have no control over what their spouses do either. They'll learn by sad experience when they can't pay their bills due to overspending on unnecessary stuff. Also, I don't begrudge them if they want to spend their hard earned money on something special, that's their right or privilege.

Sometimes we need to treat ourselves for putting in the hard work. Its when the hard work or smart work wasn't exerted that probably needs an adjustment.

I have a son in I.T. and he is very smart in math as in other things. But he had to pay a price when he did goof off in high school, by attending summer school and night classes to graduate. But our family was a mess anyway, especially me after losing a son to suicide. So we all have our battles to fight and they aren't always going to be pretty.

Yep, the USA definitely has a problem with pride and they are suffering because of it. You're going to make it... I can see that you are a "thinker" and because you see the nonsense in decisions made by others, you will overcome and be successful. Try not to let your parents bother you...I know its a pain...it'll only be for a small moment. Keep posting...I'm listening.

As for church, maybe the one with the big screen is not the right church for you. Why don't you start investigating other churches around you or farther away. Search the scriptures...and just go somewhere where you can be alone in your thoughts and just talk to God or Heavenly Father as you would a loving father who cares about you. I think you just might get some answers to your questions or some guidance in the paths you should choose.

Hang in there...you're going to be okay. I have faith in you. Paislee

[Now26]

i am so freaking tired of my stupid parents and siblings!!!! First of all, i have figured out my moms lazy pattern. She doesn't have a job and because she doesn't have anything to do she sits at home and nags people to death about doing house work that is simple. She wants everybody to do everthing for her because she has this poor old me attitude. SHE IS SO FREAKING LAZY!! I'M SICK OF THIS!!!! I asked her the other day when are you going back to work. She said i don't want to go work at the hospital. She is a CNA. She said at the hospital you have 12 or 13 patients to attend to at once if you are the only CNA working that shift. I am trying to figure out what is wrong with that. I was talking to my sister the other day and she said the same thing. She doesnt want to work. I am tired of her. My father thinks that because he works 12 hr shifts he doesnt have to do anything around the house. He is lazy also in a sense to me. He leaves mess around the house and knowing that we are going to clean up after him. I AM TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER GROWN FREAKING PEOPLE!!! HE ACTS LIKE A F&*& ^G LITTLE BOY!!!!!MY OLDER SISTER IS SO RETARDED!!!! MY NIECE RUNS ALL OVER HER!!! MY NIECE HAS HAD TO GO TO SUMMER SCHOOL EVERY YEAR SHE HAS BEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL. SHe is a Junior now. It cost $300 for summer school and my sister doesn't make that much money in a month. She is an ungrateful brat who expects people to do things for her without putting in work. I used to buy her things but i am not anymore. I am not her mother. She has a mother and a father and if she wants something they can do it for her. THE F&%$^&G BANK IS CLOSED!!! My older sister stays GLUED to the freaking TV. SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING!!! My younger sister is a freaking THIEF!! I went to Iraq on a last minute deployment and made her my power of attorney. I gave her accesst to my banking account. This broad went behind my back and got a debit card for my account in her name and she used my debit card. She didn't even have the respect to ask me. I was on the phone one day with one of her good friends from high school. This was after i came back from overseas, but not from Iraq. They were on the phone on three way and one of them said hey if you don't tell her i will tell. I am like what are you guys talking about. They said that she did it again and i don't know how because she doesn't have access to my account. I took the debit card away from her and I forgot to get her off of my account as a POA. Then their is an account my mom has at another local bank with her name on it and she took most of the money out of the account. My younger sister is the baby of the family. She thinks everybody is suppose to give everything to her. I dont talk to her at all because she doesn't want to admit that she is a thief. My dad retarded self calls himself sitting us down and having a talk with us and she said that i rather love some people for a distance. FINE WITH ME!!! SHE IS STUPID ANYWAY!! She was dating a freaking butthole and a jerk. I knew there was something about him that i didn't like. He wouldn't go anywhere with her because he didn't like the way she looked. HIS FAT BUTT NEEDED TO TAKE ANOTHER LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!! He would show up at her apartment anytime he wanted without calling. Um... can you say DISRESPECTFUL!! That should have been a sign saying that his ugly fat butt does not respect you. And this ugly ego attitude that he is better than us. HE FREAKING KNOWS BETTER SO SAY ANYTHING TO ME!!! I remember one time he was going to drive about 30 miles to come give my mother an attachment to her cell phone. He was already on his way down here on the road and thats when he called. I told my mom that is exactly what he does. He didn't even call first to see if my mom was home or even if she was busy. My mom didnt even want to have company that day. Ummm..... can you say DISRESPECTFUL?!!! I hate his attitude. He knows i that i don't like him so he doesn't say anything to me. My mom complained to my dad that i don't do anything in the house. WHAT THA! I HAVE A BIG, WAIT, THE BIGGGGEST PET PEAVE ABOUT KEEPING THE BATHROOM CLEAN!!! They are so messy when it comes to the bathroom. I hate it, i really do. I buy all the cleaning products in the house to clean the bathroom and still won't clean it. DISGUSTING!! I always feed the pets so i do my part. She complains to my dad about us not doing because i Go to school full time and i stay at the library until closing to study because i have no room or privacy in this house. I don't have my own room. SHES HOME ALL DAY AND DOESNT DO ANYTHING BUT WATCH TV, AND GOD FORBID THAT SHE MISSES HER SOAP OPERAS, OH HEAVENS NO! SHE WILL STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING "HOUSEWORK" TO SIT DOWN AND WATCH SOAP OPERAS.
I swear i am tired of this lazy sack of bones that i am related to.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi New26 I take it you are having a bad New Year! You know I'm teasing you, right? Well, it sounds like your family didn't change the day after Christmas, as this is the only posting I've seen since then.

Okay, tomorrow is a new day...each day that you are studying at the library is the one day closer to your goals of getting your own place.
Just hang in there...you're going to make it.

I understand why your mother doesn't want to go back to the hospital to work...being a CNA is hard work! If she has to care for that many patients and if they are heavy and "dead" weight, that is hard on an older woman's back. Let alone any woman's back.

You're young and healthy, you won't understand all of this until you are older and your body aches, even when you have rested. Just be proud of you Mom for working as much as she did, she did an honest day's work and right now she is resting. And as you say, things probably seem a bit dismal for her at home.

I'm glad that you can see through your sister's boyfriend's true character. That will come in handy for you in the future and will someday your sister will see that for herself.

I understand how frustrating it can be for you having to be the only one that is interested in keeping the bathroom sanitary. I'm glad you are contributing in keeping it clean, if only that means just for you after you clean it for a few minutes. Now you know what housewives go through everyday, when they have to clean up after spouses and children.

Keep on keeping on... I know you can do it...keep posting. Paislee Just remember this will be for a small moment...it too shall pass before you know it!

[Now26]

Just to let you know that i don't clean the bathroom just for me. I clean it before i use and after i use. Common courtesy doesnt go far in this house. The weather here in SC is really horrible and we were suppose to start school today but it has been cancelled for today and tomorrow because of the weather conditions. I wish this snow storm would have turned and blew the other way. I couldnt wait for the holidays to be over so i can start school. i cant wait to get out of this house.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Now26--I knew that you cleaned the bathroom for everyone, because that is the type of person you are. I was sympathizing with you on that because you are the only one that cleans it, and that you now have to clean it before you can even use it yourself. It isn't easy living with others that have different standards. Hang in there...tomorrow is another day. The days are getting longer, which means eventually the snow is going to go away and you are one day closer to moving out! Paislee

[Now26]

Ok, school has started and there are some people that are really getting on my nerves. I choose not to communicate or interact with anyone at school unless we have to do group work. But as far as building friendships and getting to know someone, OUT OF THE QUESTION! I made that mistake last quarter and this man that retired from the Army that was in one of my classes is so big headed and thinks he is better than me. Plus he is short and ugly. Short men have the short men syndrome where they have to do something out of the ordinary to make up for how short they are. Either he is still short, and unattractive. I stand and 5'7 &1/2. I dated short men and i couldn't stand them. I am no longer dating another short man. Most of them or big bellied, like the classmate i am talking about, and they think that some one is always hating on them all time. PULEEEAASE! He has gold teeth in his mouth. That is not attractive at all. What is the point of wearing gold in your mouth? Its so from the 80's and even then when it started its still not attractive. He had to wear business casual clothing for one of his classes and his shoes looked so.... i cant even describe it. Retiring fromt he military is an accomplishment but its only recognized from a professional perspective. We were in our psychology class and my instructor showed us the correct way to write a paper in APA style. He got a ZERO on his paper because he didn't follow directions. He is bull headed and thinks he knows everything. Our instructor even gave us an outline, posted it in the student portal and told us to just follow her example and erase what she did and all we had to do was replace it with our information. That is one reason i couldn't stand the military. Its obvious the ARMY didn't teach you how to follow directions!!! Shaking my head!!! He is mad that i am not taking any classes with him this quarter. I don't want to. He is a headache!! I tried to help him but it obviously didn't work. I thought i heard him say something in the hallway today as he was walking pass the door and i thought he said that she doesn't look responsible anyway. STEAM COMING OUT OF MY EARS RIGHT NOW! This mans has two children out of wedlock and has never been married. Going back the short man syndrome again, a lot of the short men that i have dated all have had their children out of wedlock. I am so sick of men thinking with their other head!! I am single with no children and don't intend on having children until i am married. I am RESPONSIBLE, responsible enough to know that if i am dating someone i want to build a friendship and a relatioship with that person before children are bought into the picture. I will not have my children go through the mess of two parents that cant stand the sight of each other. My parents are that way and they are still married and shouldn't be. The thing in the south is that you are strange or weird if you don't get married at least once even if it ends in divorce. Thats not me. I can't do that. We would save ourselves some time if we build the relationship as if it were a friendship. In class today i could feel myself having a small panic attack. We just started classes today because of the winter weather and i get really nervous when i am in a classroom setting because i don't know what to expect. I am a big introvert and i don't like working with people. I chose to major in IT because i don't like people at all. I have been used, abused, and mistreated in the work place, by so called friends and familiy. I am done helping people. Because i went through so much i have little patience and a hot temper. It seems like i don't but test me and I WILL TAKE IT THERE WITH YOU!!

[Paisleegreen]

Hi New26--:) I'm glad you started school! Yippee! Now you can be out of your house. I understand about how some short men can be, but all aren't like that. I'm glad you made sure you weren't going to be in the same class as that guy and that you have standards. I had planned as a young girl that I was going to get married and then have children. If I didn't have those goals, I'm sure I could have been easily a stray. I was taught well by my parents and other good examples.

I'm on the small size and have dated short and tall guys. Slim ones and athletic types, I dated one guy that was short, but in shape and one time he wanted to marry me when I didn't feel any connection at all. He finally said that we could get married and six months later get a divorce. You probably can guess why he wanted to get married, he was from the polynesian islands and needed a green card.

I told him I don't think that Christ would like us to do that. Pretty much let the Lord do the talking for me, so to speak. I can remember him meeting me at a 7-11 store to talk to me and he was sitting in my car. I'm glad I had my wits about me and remained calm while I carefully told him, "No." in a manner that didn't get his hackles up.

I think the Lord has saved me from many things that could have gone wrong due to my ignorance in some areas, yet I would receive when needed inspiration and knowledge to make good decisions that I wouldn't regret later in life.

So you keep working on your goals and keep your standards high, the right guy will come along when you are ready. Sometimes, though, the wrong ones will show up as you have already experienced and what you knew about your sister's "bad boyfriend".

Keep a list of attributes that you want in a husband tucked away in a pocket or journal that you can refer to periodically. You go Girl! Have a good day tomorrow if not still today! Paislee

[Now26]

I cant wait to be done with school. This is really getting on my nerves. People are spreading so much lies about me that aren't even true and its really getting on my nerves. They keep saying that i don't know anything when i am getting very good grades and busting my a$$ to get great grades. What tha?! Who cares about them. I will be done with school faster than they will be done because of all of my transfer credits. Hopefully I will be done in a year and a half. I haven't even finished my first year at this school yet. I can't wait to be done. School in SC straight up suck. The tuition in the state is one of the highest in the nation. I am thinking about going back to work after next quarter. Work is all I know. Oh, well we'll see.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Now 26--I'm glad you are doing well in school, you have come a long way since December and it is almost the end of March, so you can do it! Soon it will seem like time has flown by, hang in there. It will be worth it. Paislee

[jerlin09]

If you feel nauseas it is probably because you do need to eat something or it is due to a nervous system running a muck. Anxious feelings can bring on a nervous and feeling sick stomach. I always drank milk when I took my meds. It almost was a ritual to have hot chocolate w/whipping cream and toast at the beginning of the day.

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