How do you deal with issues of light and dark?

Tim2 · Post by **Tim2** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:49 am

Hello all. I am new to StressCenter Program. I am dealing with issues of OCD, anxiety brought about by stress and all of this has triggered depression. Anyone out there coping with this type of ****tail mix? Or parts of it? It seems I am in a struggle between light and dark, tape reels that play over and over in my mind, loose thoughts and super fast thinking. Incredible when you stop to consider it all.

World I am just looking for a shoulder to lean on.

Tim2

struggling Christian · Post by **struggling Christian** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:02 am

Hi,
I have struggled with ocd, anxiety, and depression for a really long time, most of my life actually. I have the negative thoughts and fast thinking along with panic attacks. We all need a shoulder to lean on. All of us here have been through what you're going through. Feel free to read our stories and post your thoughts. Sometimes it helps to get it out and write it down. You are not alone. I am starting this program and hoping it helps. I try to put my trust in the Lord too but I often fail to leave things in His hands.

Tim2 · Post by **Tim2** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:33 am

Struggling Christian thanks for responding. This all came on like a freight train recently for me. I think back on who I was 5 weeks ago to who I am now and it amazes me. I think...has all of this really happened? I suppose though if I am truthfull with myself some of the seeds of what I am feeling now were planted a long time ago. It just took the right circumstances to manifest them so clearly. How do you cope with your job? Do you ever feel a lightness in your body (adrenaline I think) and that your brain is operating in a fog...sometime not a happy fog? Sorry for all the questions...just trying to find a hand out there...some common ground with someone I can share.

struggling Christian · Post by **struggling Christian** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:35 pm

I sometimes wonder how I got to where I am today. I feel like I'm in a fog. I feel like there is a cloud of impending doom over me. I am currently on disablility from my job because of all of this. It was hard holding down a job for me plus I have debilitating migraines 3-4 times a week.

Tim2 · Post by **Tim2** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:50 pm

Well my friend take a deep breath, take many...a voice inside of me....the great maker inside all of us..said, says, is saying...wherever I am you are, wherever you are I am. Take a stand, he wants you too, help others with no thought of return and slowly day by day you can be here.

Tim2 · Post by **Tim2** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:52 pm

Would someone else like to join us. There is strength in numbers...

Lisa Hammonds · Post by **Lisa Hammonds** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:06 pm

Tim2...I read your description and its like you were talking about me...I was at a very very low point with all this...The racing thoughts...never stopped and the last 2 years I was falling deeper and deeper into the abiss...that really scared me..I tried so hard to focis at work..fortunately I am alone in the office most of the time..so no one saw me..but I turned into someone I did not recognize..Somehow everything caught up with me..I was agoriohic for over 23 years and spent those twenty three years in a state of anxiety and depression..Looking through my eyes was like looking through a dirty window. All I did was work and run home to hide so I did not have to face anyone. I didn't talk to my friends and family...quit doing the things I liked to do..Lost total interest in anything. I have tried group theray, shrinks who are so quick to medicate, I even spent 4 weeks in a mental hospital, the lastest and greates meds. I spent those 23 years chasing down something I already had. That something was ME. With this program I have found another way to think. Another way to anylize. I have been working very hard and practicing. THIS TAKES PRACTICE.
My life is moving and changing and I can't stop it...That is scarey. The change in dynamics of the family. Son moving away to college, mother is getting up there in age etc. I had to make a decision to be either dependent, mousey scared, angry, depressed and just not give a rats behind about nothin. Or I should "MAN UP" and do something about it. If you need to talk to someone like a therapist..that may be helpful in guiding you through this difficult period....but at the end of the day its going to be you...just you. That was scarey to me...but you know what? I like me now..I am learning to do that old cliche..Love myself. So please don't give up on this program..Don't listen others...take your little baby steps..trust yourself..you can cuz you brought you here to get guidance. Hope to hear from you soon. Take care. I will be thinking of you.
Don't hesitate to come here and let it all hang out. We understand your pain. This is my little secret. My special place to come and visit. MINE. And thats okay. It really is okay.

Tim2 · Post by **Tim2** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 2:31 pm

Lisa...I love you for the kind words. It is not easy being in a place where you punish yourself every day. I love your spirit and believe the same..it comes down to yourself. The thoughts are yours, the panic is yours, the anxiety is yours, the obesessing is yours....own them all and then banish them. Take charge. Easy to say...hard to do because you have to do it every single day. At some point though enough is enough. We are good, we are kind, we help others...WE can help ourselves. I am working on it but as you said it is scary...the thoughts,the taping running over and over in your mind. I see an off switch and I am working, I am reaching hard to turn it. That is why I am here. Thank you Lisa. Stay in touch please.

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:33 am

yes me too..although I don't think my thoughts race quite so much..maybe they do and I just don't realize. I too am reaching for that switch and trying to own up as scary as that is for me. It feels overwhelming to see how bad the thoughts are..so difficult to believe and have faith that there is a way through that scary, foggy, dark tangled mess of negativity and constant beratement. Yet, through it all there is some dim light of hope that shows me, on the other side of all that crap, a door where the Light is coming from. I just need to keep seeking it. I will get through to the next step..we all will if we keep seeking the strength to help ourselves.