Coping with depression caused by work?

pearpickinporky · Post by **pearpickinporky** » Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:24 am

While I have had amazing results with agoraphobia and anxiety I am finding it difficult to cope with the depression of working in a job I hate. I know I might sound selfish with the economy being the way it is and I should be grateful for having a job but I can't help how I feel.

Example. I am of now on holidays for Christmas, the other night I had a nightmare that I was at work, it felt so real, I woke up and my heart was actually racing and I was sweating, It was actually a mini panic attack, and even though I am of I may as well not be as I have flashbacks of being at work every hour at least and they bring with them a feeling of depression, that is how much I hate my job.

I don't hate the job as such, I hate the people, I have social anxiety which leads to getting bullied indirectly, held back, given more work than anyone else, I can't go to the boss as he is the main culprit and there is no one higher than him, he owns the place.

I have commitments, I have kids, a partner, a home to keep so I can't just leave, I have been there 5 years and have been unable to get another job which shows how dire the situation is in this area.

So my only option is to learn how to cope with this, I am only getting bullied/picked on etc as I have allowed them to do it to me as I am so shy.

Any help with this would be gratefully appreciated.

Wildcard · Post by **Wildcard** » Thu Dec 30, 2010 9:35 am

Howdy Pear,

It kind of sounds like you already know what to do. You said "I HAVE ALLOWED them to do it to me as I am so shy." It hate to be a jerk here but, when you say you are "given more work then anyone else", are you sure? Is it possible that you are having a pitty party for yourself? It is time for you to put YOU first. Go talk to your boss. Notice I said talk to you boss, not whine, complain or fuss. Tell them about your condition and explain how it effects your performance at work. I felt like you several months ago and I finally had a cow, walked right up to my boss and her boss told them about my condition and ever since it hasnt been half bad.

Might just want to give it a try

Moniquelous · Post by **Moniquelous** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 3:54 pm

Pear,

I can relate. Feel like I'm the outcast at work. It's really frustrating that often people are promoted/receive more leeway that are "liked" and not necessarily doing good work.

New Me · Post by **New Me** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:24 am

You might want to give yourself some hope by beginning to "quietly" look around for another job opportunity. Even if it takes awhile to find the right job (or the right group of people), just having the hope may be uplifting...and who knows...you may find a better group of people to work with, who won't take advantage of you. From personal experience, my guess is that you feel "trapped". You probably aren't as trapped (in reality) as much as you think. Usually, not always, people have a choice to make, and can generally go another direction when things aren't working out right for you. If you choose to look around, remember to be smart and keep it to yourself. No one needs to know your business, especially those people at your current work location. It's your choice, not theirs.

Best wishes for improved future job situation. Life is too short to work for jerks; this is not a dress rehearsal...it's the real deal and your life too valuable to squander with turkeys at work.

pearpickinporky · Post by **pearpickinporky** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:24 am

Thanks for that, I have already made the decision that I will be leaving this year, I have already made a new CV and will hopefully start sending it out soon, I realised I have to options, I can let the crap annoy me or I can use it as motivation to find a new brilliant job.

New Me · Post by **New Me** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:47 am

Good Luck!!! I'm pulling for you! I'm no expert, but you probably need to remind yourself to be patient...don't get discouraged if it takes awhile.

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 3:37 am

Hey Pear !

How are things on the job now ? Are you still going to look for a new job ? ......new year....new beginnigs !

pearpickinporky · Post by **pearpickinporky** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 3:48 am

Originally posted by manofmusic:
Hey Pear !

How are things on the job now ? Are you still going to look for a new job ? ......new year....new beginnigs !

Yes, I have applied for 2 jobs, Even finding a vacancy around here is an achievement but there has been 2 this week and have applied for both, so fingers crossed.

Lisa Hammonds · Post by **Lisa Hammonds** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 5:04 am

Pearpickin...if you attain a new job...be sure that you learned how to deal with the office bullying...If you don't you will be making a lateral move instead of moving up...There are bullies everywhere you look...from incosiderate neighbors...to road rage drivers....to mean "friends" etc. I believe that we can learn something in ervery situation we run into.....What I have learned is that we can't run a away when things are uncomforatable...Life is uncomfortable at times. Take with you what you learned to your new job. And in your mind...tell them bullies to go jump in the lake...This has helped me overcome that feeling of helplesness. Kinda telling them off with out really acting on it...Just in your mind...and then work out what you would say as a strong and confident person. This takes alot of practice and with time you won't run from confrontation...You will face it head on with the skills to RESOLVE and/or DISOLVE..I wish you the best of luck and hope that this is helpful. Hope to see another post of your progress. Happy New Year.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 6:54 am

Hi--I'm glad that you are getting opportunities elsewhere. I understand what you have been going through. I was lucky to hang in at one job to cross over in another department and location with less hours and was able to keep my health insurance. This was years ago, I still had competition like atmosphere at the new job, but I was soon able to leave it when I had my baby. Then I went back to college after that.

It was quite the blessing as this baby had complications and required a C-section, not what I was expecting so between my husband's job and my parttime my son's delivery was 100% covered.

Also is that time period everyone smoked in the work place and I didn't. It was so nice to leave this environment and then come back to a a new career where state laws had made so noone could smoke in the workplace. They had their designated areas.

Good luck in your new adventure!