I have been dealing with anxiety for years, since I was about three years old. i grow up in a home full of drama. My parnets were young and had their own problems which they pass down or took out on us. Now, my mom was the best mom but her past and how her dad treated her mom pass down to her. My dad had his own demons which before getting married or having kids he did not work out. My dad would always start fights with my mom or us. I was always anious and afraid of what might happen to me, my mom, and my siblings. I held on to that fear thoughout my life and started to fear people that reminded me of my dad. I had my first panic attack when I was six years old. I was at school in class finishing an assignment. Minutes before the teacher wanted the assignment I realize I did the assignment wrong so I erased everything on the paper. I started to tremble, my heart was racing, I wanted to cry; I just had so many emotins running through me. This teacher reminded me of my dad, I was afraid of her. When she got my paper she embrassed me in front of the whole classroom. A kid... I remember that day like it happened yesterday. It wasnt until a couple of years ago that I started to place names to the issues that I have. As a kid I did not know what was happening to me but now I know.
I listened to the first session and was happy to know that the people who have the same problems found help and is now doing better. I prayed at my situation and tryed to take matters into my own hands instead of giviging it to God. Now I am doing just that. I know with God leading the way and giving me the tools I need, I know I will too overcome!!
Hopeful start!!!
Hi Peace83! I know it must have been hard growing up with such fear and turmoil! I can relate....my Mom was extrememly strict and demanding....sometimes she we get in one of those (moods) she had and knock everything off every shelf in the room! This was so horrifying as a child! Always made to feel your not good enough....always made to feel responsible for her problems...but yet she was a caring mother who did the best she knew how to do. I want you to know that you are not alone...a lot of us are going through this. I started the program (for the 2nd time)....i used it 20 yrs ago and it was wonderful! I had few or no attacks for 15ys after. Just had a few set backs recently. You are so right about God being able to take care of things...he brings us to the right place in order to help us help ourselves....cause he made us smart and capable of doing just that! And he loves us no matter what! I am on 2nd day of program. The first day was harder but today has been much better so far!! Hope to hear from you soon!