session 1. 1st day

songgirl · Post by **songgirl** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 1:51 am

I actually had a little more trouble than usual this morning. My husband had been following me a small part of the way to work, and i had to ask him to go a little farther. I started thinking things like....what if i have a PA after he turns around.... ill be stuck here on the side of the road in the dark...etc, etc. LOL, isnt it always those etc. etc.'s that get us in trouble! I know i will be a little nervous upon beginning this... but i truly believe after the next 2 cd's i will be more relaxed. My biggest problem now that im older in tryin' to change my though process is....it seems a little harder for me to focus...seems easier for thoughts to race n take off n leave me so to speak. I am using the breathing by the way. Any words of wisdom?

Paridygmn · Post by **Paridygmn** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 5:10 am

I have grown up and used cars for a long time and have nothing but a great affection for the automobile. I would love to know what your past experiences are regarding driving, being a passenger, stories about driving that made you apprehensive, etc. that gives you pause behind the wheel?

songgirl · Post by **songgirl** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:08 am

I like cars and used to love driving. I had my first panic attack while driving as a young adult....very terrifying...then it was just like a reflex gut reaction. I was scared i would have another. Then all the usual snowballing thoughts. The only thing i can think of that might have brought that first panic attack on was..I had a car accident about 1 month before. I was knocked unconscience and had 2 broken collar bones and glass to be removed and stitches. It never really scared me at the time....i got right back behind the wheel. But, 1 month later, I had the attack while driving. Thought i was gonna pass out. Now Im 38 n hadn't had an attack in many years until bout a yr ago. Both my parents passed away after extended illnessed. I was the caretaker for both of them. Suddenly, i was driving to work one day and 'bam' another panic attack....then i began fearing the drive and the area in particular where i had the attack.
I hate it though because i like cars and actually love rollin with the windows down and a cool song on the radio....just can't get there yet:)

Paridygmn · Post by **Paridygmn** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:21 am

Wow, I guess I can't blame you for feeling that way. I am reading the section on self talk and I am starting to suspect that this may have something to do with your situation. I am not a Doctor of course, I am going through the program just like you, but I get the sense that self talk is a big part of this situation.

Paridygmn

songgirl · Post by **songgirl** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:54 am

You are absolutely right! I had become an expert at catching that dialog in my head and changing and replacing it back when i was 20. For some reason, this time...i can change the dialog, i can think of the replacement comforting thoughts...but i can't seem to make myself believe them. It's sort of like what ive seen in the past 3 yrs disproved the safety i thought was there. Hopefully when i get to that part again, It will help me get there!

songgirl · Post by **songgirl** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:04 am

I used the relaxation session last night and did NOT rush into repeating session 1 yet. Today has been much better so far...day 2 of program. I have been having what seems to be terrible IBS with pain and bloating....woke up for first time in weeks...no bloating. No tummy ache at all! LOVE IT! I now have an area of my drive that did not bother me at all. I felt totally relaxed...still havent conquered the area where i had the attack yet....husband still followed me. But i know i am headed in the right direction:)