Fiasco

Juno · Post by **Juno** » Fri Dec 31, 2010 2:38 pm

I have finished the program over a year ago and it has helped so much I can't even describe. I live a normal life and have found wonderful ways to cope. Those new skills made such a difference.
But recently a series of events had reduced me to close to where I was. The stress has just been too much and has truly brought me to my knees. I just need to tell someone...
Recently I've had no sleep for over a month studying for my second Master's degree while working. On top of that I rescue dogs and took in a third to save him. My strain of high stress began when my own dog ate a whole bag of chocolate (she is like my child) and almost died. I spent over $1500 to save her, which I can barely afford. Any Christmas gifts I got were gone. Then I went to Florida with my boyfriend to see his family and got stuck due to the blizzard. A volunteer who offered to care for the rescue dog got so angry at me for being delayed she text messaged me 46 angry and belligerent text messages at 6 in the morning. This was the night I was trying to get rest after spending the previous day at the airport from 4 am till night trying to get on a stanby flight, which didn't work out. The next day I got a screaming phone call from my condo board about having a third dog at my condo. The third dog was not allowed. I also have a heart condition and had endless palpitations that I still can't get under control because of all the stress. So this volunteer keeps attacking me on the rescue's listserv as dumping the dog on her because I got delayed because of the blizzard. She keeps trying to force an adoption to a person I never approved of because this person is her friend while I have a perfectly set adoption for the dog for Sunday. Nevermind the exhaustion, lack of money and lack of time. Our luggage went without us, so we had to deal without it.
This all just makes me NEVER want to help anyone again. I probably saved this dog's life, which for me means a lot, but it seems the only thanks I got were getting abused and attacked and heart palpitations. I've regressed with coping with anxiety. My brain is so fried. I don't even know what to do with myself. How do I even begin to recover? Any ideas? I just sit there staring at a wall.

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:31 pm

I am fairly new to this program but maybe just take a DEEEEEEP breath and start over from Session 2? There is no shame in going back over the program. Maybe just breathe and accept that you are overwhelmed again. I have heard that we want to perfectly get something so we don't have to deal with it again but it sounds to me like you had a series of things that didn't give you time to get a grip. So accept yourself and try again maybe?

Juno · Post by **Juno** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 5:48 pm

I think that is a good point. Today I ended up in the hospital with chest pains and arm numbness, but I turned out to be fine. It must be pure stress. I think I will start the program over again.

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:36 am

I too get chest pain and have arm numbness when I feel really stressed. Usually it all goes away when I calm down. Lately it has been difficult for me to calm down but I need to remember I will have some bad days as well as good...acceptance is hard when it doesn't feel good. Isn't it?

Juno · Post by **Juno** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 7:11 am

When I went to the doctor and found out what it was...I laughed so hard. It turned out to be a back problem. Something was pressing on a nerve going down to my shoulder and partially to my chest. Ha ha. One trip to the chiropractor made it go away.
And I'm doing so much better with the stress...all gone. But I learned a valuable lesson in time management. I will NEVER take on more than I can handle like that.

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:25 am

oh yeah? Lol! I had that happen to me once...thought I was having a heart attack, the ambulance took me to the ER and everything. Nope no heart attack. Follow up docter visit found a piece of food that was too big(us anxious eaters sometimes don't chew properly)was trying to force it's way through the valve from the stomach into the intestines! That was it!! It can mimic the feeling of a heart attack!! Minus the arm pain! Silly me

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:25 am

Oh and now I chew alot slower and better and WOW! No pain!! Hee hee

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:47 am

wWw, what a story! I'm glad you got your numbness or pain taken care of by a Chiro Doc!

Sorry about all those rude text messages while you were having enough stress. sometimes is just really pours when it rains!