Agoraphobic

Pauly J · Post by **Pauly J** » Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:36 pm

Hey Paislee, Silvelining, I was surprised to hear others fearing the shower! Thought i was alone on this one! For me I guess its the fear of passing out and being rendered helpless while showering. Sometimes i would just hurry so fast and take a quick shower that i wasnt really even done showering! I use to only shower if my wife or one of my kids were home...now i can shower when home alone...but a really quick one! Best of Luck to all!

Hope77 · Post by **Hope77** » Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:01 am

Pauly. Glad to hear that you got over your agoraphobia quickly. You are right in saying that you must go through the fear to get over it. Interesting that other people also have a fear of showering like I do. I think that I will panic and run out of the shower naked.

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Thu Dec 23, 2010 9:20 am

WOW! I just must say...WOW! I have deeply set control issues that I have been trying to give over control...controlling surrendering control and it hasn't worked..well not the way I thought that it was supposed to!

Instead God led me here..to get more help to surrender that control. I too would feel anxious, like a lion in a cage(nice photo silverlining!) I would pace when I felt like I couldn't come or go when I wanted to. Hate to feel stuck at home with no car to go anywhere! I would always take my car out to parties, friend's houses, bars because I needed to know that I would be able to leave when I wanted to. When I was not able to leave when I wanted-from anywhere-even as a child I would stress out and now I know I would then feel anxious until I got what I wanted.
I haven't had the kind where I consciously felt afraid to leave the house but I have avoided leaving the house because I didn't want to deal with the stress of all the "to do" stuff. For a few days. I "what if" think ALOT and have a fear of what if someone tries to come in the house while I am in the shower because I didn't lock the doors. I don't avoid the shower completely but I feel stressed inside there because it takes too long. I always have to lock the doors that enter the house, when I am inside. What is that? I mean to the point, I let the dogs out and lock the deadbolt right away. Some of that is because the one door doesn't latch tight and the dogs nose it open...but not the only reason. I constantly think someone will come in and hurt me or my animals.

I have avoided social things, including work, anything that causes me to have to try and learn something new, or talking to people. I rush through shopping..I don't know what impatience is about. I have a lot of impatience with shopping. I want to get in and out and I hold my breath and am tense the whole time.

I have known quite a few people who have been agoraphobic and not able to leave the house but I have seen them acheive victories facing those fears a bit at a time!

SilverLining · Post by **SilverLining** » Thu Dec 23, 2010 12:04 pm

Hi Molly and welcome! I am glad the Lord lead you here. It truly has been a blessing to me and thanks for the compliment on the pic.

I'm sure you'll find lots of support here.

I must say you sound alot like me. It's amazing how similiar some of us are. But it so helps to understand the why of how we think and react to things.

I used to feel so ashamed and alone in the fear I had about taking a shower. Until I came here and others said they struggled with it too. I cried just knowing that I wasn't the only one who experienced it.

And YES we can all overcome this. One step at a time. Tammy

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Thu Dec 23, 2010 2:18 pm

Hi Molly, I've been like that a lot as far as locking doors, more because not all my family is home all the time. It is common sense, when you think about it, and aren't we "thinkers" here.

Charles, you are funny, but I'm sure that has crossed my mind!

Or at least trip on my out of the shower as I run out!

I know part of it is the "rubbery" leg feeling I get...I feel like I just might collapse. Ugh.

Hope77 · Post by **Hope77** » Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:21 pm

Paisleegreen. You hit it right on the head! We are all THINKERS!!! We think way too much about things in a bad way. Our minds are very powerful.

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:51 pm

thank you silverlining and paisleegreen. I appreciate the feedback. I know that it is common sense to lock the doors when noone is home but me but the way my mind is when I do it is obsessive. Especially when I find I didn't lock the door and think someone is hiding in the closet...the dogs are outside! LOL

I sure am glad that I found you all! Praying that the Lord helps us all turnover the desire to control and the fear. Or whomever your HP is. Have a good Holiday and Christmas everyone!

CrystalDawn2011 · Post by **CrystalDawn2011** » Fri Dec 24, 2010 9:57 pm

Hello all.

I am new here. I am on Week 2 of the program.

I have agoraphobia too.

I was doing SO well with session 1 that I have been able to control most all of my panic attacks at home. (And I was having aprox. 2 BAD 10+ ones per day AND 3-7 moderate ones per day) I'm now down to 1-2 mild anxiety feeling per day.

However this week I have been wanting to put the panic skills to work. And the only way I can is to drive passed my "safe zones." I am usually OK within 15 minutes of my home. I have not been able to make it past 15 minutes from my home in 3-4 months before the program.

On day 1 of session 2 I got my husband to drive me 25 minutes away from home. On a road that usually makes me VERY anxious. I have tried going on this road MANY times before, even stopping 2-6 times and always have turned back and went home. But on Day 1 of session 2 I made it past this place!! I even went 5-8 miles further than what I had planned!
Anxiety and almost 8-10+ anxiety did come up, but I didn't feel like I had to *RUN* and jump out of the car or turn on the emrgency blinkers to get back to my "safe place." I used the techniques in the program and I came back home with a smile.

On Day 2 of week 2. I wanted yet again to put myself in anxiety to practice my skills. So I set my limit to a place 30 minutes away. This time it was even easier!! The panic/anxiety DID try to sneak up on me, but I let it know that *I* was in control, not it! At 30 minutes away from my "safe zone" I even got out of the car and walked around the walking track, smiled, looked at the snow on the tree's, took some pictures and stayed in "the moment" observing all of the beauty around me. I came home with a huge smile on my face.

But now I am having "what if" thinking. I am wanting to make it 40+ minutes past my "safe zone." That would be 80 minutes counting there and back.

So I have caught myself feeling depressed and worried over this.

I don't like rideing in the dark either. That is a phobia in it's self, and the next exposure will have to be when my husband gets off work, which will be in the dark. (I hate short days of winter!)

I am very worried and dreading it. But as I told my husband, I WILL make the 40/80 minute ride. I will do it if I have to pull off the side of the road and roll in the snow on the ground until the panic leaves! LOL I have suffered LONG enough.

Just to let you know how bad my panic attacks have been in the passed, (I had went to the Emergency Room 253 times over the course of 1 year!!) It was so bad that the last times I had went, they wouldn't even see me!!! They would triage me and if my vitals were good they REFUSED!!!

Oh and about the bath/shower stress. I have that as well. It's the feeling of being "trapped" and not "in control." How can you make your way to the hospital naked with shampoo in your hair?!?! :p Luckily from Session one and the techniques I have learned I am able to take long relaxing baths now. The CARDS that come with the program are a LIFE SAVER for me. I re-read them all day long. Focasing on what they mean and adding stuff to each line as I say them all out-loud.

I wish us all the best! And I hope all of our dreams get to come true!

As for me, It will be hard. I know it will be. But I WILL go the 40 minute trip and by the end of the week will be the 1 hour trip. It will pass and I will be ok. I just *HOPE* I don't ***REALLY*** jump out of the car or have to call 911. That would be SO embarrassing and SCAREY!!!

forever young 06 · Post by **forever young 06** » Sat Dec 25, 2010 3:05 am

CrystalDawn,
wow this is what I love to read,someone working on facing their fears.This is what it is all about.I need to face my fears I have been stuck for 5 yrs nowI had made some progress 5 yrs ago but due to trying another area and feeling the intense anxiety building I had my husband turn around and I beat myself up bad had the worse anxiety for days and regressed to where I couldn't go a lot of places I could go. I need to start working as hard as you are to get better. to try everyday and stay positive. keep us posted as this is good for everyone

SilverLining · Post by **SilverLining** » Sat Dec 25, 2010 8:29 am

Hello Everyone and Merry Christmas!

CrystalDawn, WOW! What a testimony! You are doing great! Don't ever beat yourself up for slight delays in your progress. I really enjoyed reading about how far you have come in such a short time. You are doing awesome!!

Molly,

I understand about locking the doors. Mine are locked all the time and my next door neighbor is a police officer. I just feel that is being safe. Never thought of it as anything else. BTW: your dog is adorable.

I pray you area all having a very Peaceful and Merry Christmas. Keep the testimonies coming!!