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a.marble1;
That was pretty awesome eh? It was hilarious when that woman told me she used it and started to laugh when her husband started to yell. I wish I was there.
Paisleegreen
Your welcome, I posted them mainly for you but anybuddy else can use it too. I had to chuckle about the chess cartoon myself, it was pretty great. I have some other awesome pictures but they aren't appropriate for this site if you know what i mean. Take your time with the links.
So would you say you have a bit of hoarding involved? Maybe you feel more comfortable with holding onto alot of things?
Which compulsive activities are you talking about? Is it more then just collecting things and keeping them?
So you are facing the fears then?
Thank you, i'm glad you appreciate my efforts. What has helped you out the most?
THH
I never really thought of the chess thing like that but it was so awesome to find this pic.
Well what I mean about learn it from someone else is when you grow up you learn by example. Your parents tell you, you did such an awesome job and you feel it. You learn to tell it to yourself because it was told to you. Thats what I mean as learning it from someone else. At this stage it has to come from within unless you have a friend that you can have come over and constantly tell you what a good girl you are for brushing your teeth or putting your clothes on all by yourself!
That way you came up with now sounds like it is effective, do you find it to be so?
Well you could live your life For someone else at least when it comes to activities. You can choose not to do those really fun things you like to do because someone else has a problem with it and it is really their own limitation or belief. If you decide to live your life like that then you really aren't living your life because you aren't doing it your way. When someone is bothered by something you do...it is their limitation! It is bothersome to them! Those people are struggling with the same anxiety and depression we are suffering with but they might not be as affected because they get their power out of controlling others with this behavior!
True I couldn't have done what I did with my life if I didn't have self-approval. I would have just gone along with everybody else but I didn't do that. I have some things I don't need approval for and many things I still do. I guess what i'm saying is that I want to rely more on my self-approval than I am with others.
I do deserve that don't I?
That is cute with your horse obsessive thought. What if he grows wings and flys away! What if he also finds a tutu and wears it and then finds a magic wand and becomes your horsey fairy god's mother? And then it creates magic horsey poop and you and it go to your enemies houses and throw the magical poop!
That is exactly what is happening and what has happened countless times when it came to the program. I wanted to do stuff but my "story" prevented me from doing so. Things like Nobody will hire me because of my condition, What-if I need to leave and they won't let me...stuff like that. You are bang on with your thought.
I know nothing about the eagles accept the band they had that song
Hotel California
Wow that is pretty cool actually. Maybe it'd be good to set something like that up. Or maybe I do...I have disability and it can be like a net. Maybe i just need to push myself. Thats cool thank you! Haha a hoot nice pun!
Yeah its useful...I'm finding another resource that is even more useful at least during the morning! I'll post about it further down in this post.
Tony Robbins is amazing! He is the guy you go to for motivation and energy! Also you can use his techniques to change beliefs if David D Burns's techniques like the feared fantasy don't work for you. This is not CBT but NLP or neurolinguistic programing. I will be posting more about his stuff from now on.
Tuesday
Ok So after listening to Tony Robbins's cd's or at least 2 of them I decided to use his hour of power session. Basically when you start your morning (or you can do it whenever you want), you start off walking and then you do a breathing technique (4 inhales and 4 exhales), you then focus on everything and everybody in your life that you are greatful for, then you focus on what goals you want to achieve for yourself and then you do incantations that state how you have what it takes to achieve these goals. I have done this in the past and I felt good but stopped doing it for some stupid reason and so I started again and I did feel really amazing and empowered. I actually looked for more motivating feelings and I went to hip hop and just did really phenominal! I got so into it and I was so confident and I still screwed up at the end of the routine and still haven't gotten it down but it didn't matter. It was just amazing, the whole day I carried that emotional state with me, it was awesome. It was satisfying and it did help to fill a void. NO matter how much cbt I would do I still wouldn't feel satisfied and fulfilled but this did it for me! I do however notice the fear I have facing these goals and I'm probabbly going to have to do some belief changing for it but thats fine. Another thing in hip-hop was I told myself that instead of worrying about not doing a good job or getting the routine I told myself that I'm going to do everything I can to make this work and I will get it no matter what, and I got most of it so that was cool and I enjoyed the hip-hop so much more! The instructor also mentioned a routine I got really good at and I made a physical change to get into the same mindset that I was doing when I did that old routine and it helped!
When we became anxious it started off with one situation. Then those anxious feelings came up again in a diffrent situation (maybe we were worrying about the feelings from the first situation) and then it multipled until it became unbearable and it put a major strain on our lives! Well I can use this idea for the good stuff too! If I think in that negative downward spiral then I can pull out the memory of that hip-hop dance to break the cycle and put me in a powerful state. I can collect more and more of these memories from the good things I do and the really enjoyable dances and keep bringing them up when I get into an irrational way of thinking! This could work out really amazingly. Funny thing is my friend, my instructor and I call it the monkey dance and I kinda get all apeish in order to put myself in that mindstate and could you imagine me doing that when people start to criticize me?
Actually there was a move in the choreo that kinda resembled milking a cow and I just started to laugh in my head! The moves following that would have been really painful for the cow though!
Think about things I am getting really fed up! I've been telling myself that my life is ok and I've been telling myself I'm not ready for a job yet and telling myself I can't get into a relationship, I can't buy myself nice things, I can't do alot of things I want to do and my life is still a struggle! This is complete BS! My life is not ok, its TERRIBLE! How many more days, months, years or even decades am I willing to give to this condition? How many great opportunities am I going to give up because "i'm not good enough?" How many people am i going to let drift away from me? How many more moments am I going to spend struggling? How many awesome things am I going to give up because other people criticize me about them? How many more times am I going to let my feelings keep me from achieving the things I want? How many more times am I going to run away and keep excusing myself from feeling happy and experiencing joy? How many more hours, days and years am I going to spend feeling miserable, hating myself, feeling guilty and just coping with life instead of experiencing the awesome parts of it? I might be afraid but this is utter crap! I don't deserve this, I don't deserve any more of this self-inflicted torture. I don't think any of us do. Am I right? But if I continue to live this way then it'll be a huge waste! I'd be like a caterpillar rotting away in a cocoon! I have to take action because this is just unacceptable!
One day too late by skillet
Mike
Then to have my Therapist at the time tell me I got to get rid of more stuff, that set me into a very anxiety producing tailspin, that I experienced my first panic attack and subsequent anxiety and fearful thoughts. It was so over the edge to comprehend all that had happened to me. 
Paislee
