having a problem driving

tina martin · Post by **tina martin** » Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:06 am

Excellent, comprehensive points, Jillzmind. The driving matter was so big in my life that it always stirs up past hurdles to get onto the road.

I did not grow up with a car. When we came to the US (I was 14) my father was too old and broken to start that matter, my older brother went off to serve in Korea, and we relied on public transportation. In my last year in college I knew I'd probably need to drive to get to a job. So I bought a used car: a chrome studded, 1956 black and white Plymouth Belvedere that both terrorized and exhilarated me. I took a few driving lessons from a driving school, passed the tests and knew next to nothing about driving. Power steering must have been newly invented because if you just breathed on that steering wheel the car veered in any direction.

Why do I bring this up? Because I believe (as do some others) that our difficulties do not come out of nowhere. They generally have roots; they have origins. To some people it is helpful to recognize and acknowledge those origins.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Wed Dec 01, 2010 7:59 am

Jillzmind! DITTO Excellent Post!

Tina Martin--Thank you for your posting. It is so true, I really didn't need to go out and mail two letters and buy some almonds, someone else eventually would have gotten done that for me.

But I wanted to...because I need to. The roads had melted ice on them and then a skiff of snow. So this was my first experience of venturing out farther than a mile in the first snow. So when I noticed my tires didn't have as much traction, I would practice braking and drove slower.

I did venture out when school had already let out and before the 5:00 traffic. When I got to the store, it seems so overwhelming right now. The prices are higher than I remember them to be, frustrating to me. Then I had to examine what really was in package coconut and prepackage pumpkin bread mix. IT's TRUE!

So I ended up there at my leisure ignoring the other people coming and going, while I racked my brain around what good foods am I going to get to prevent "panic attacks" or "anxiety symptoms".

I finally got what I felt was necessary and a treat. I passed on my usual obsession of buying some stickers to use in my scrapbooks, passed on any Christmas cards, decor, and whatnot.

I knew I don't need anymore of this type of stuff, I have plenty.

I bought healthy corn chips to go with my healthy chili I'm going to make again with X-lean ground beef.

So by the time I got to the check stand I realized I have more groceries to bag myself and take out to my car to load up!

Then it really snowed while I was in the store, but I trudged along happily pushing the cart through the snowy parking lot to where I parked farther away so that noone would ding my vehicle. (I have a problem w/ that-- :p )

I loaded up and started on my way, slowly but confidently, and Oh, so glad people were either home already or not near where I had to drive home. Victory, except that DS parked in the place in the driveway I was going to park to unload, but I survived.

It was a great accomplishment to have ventured out at probably an unrealistic time if you didn't need to be out. I'm so glad I did it though, it feels great!

Today is a SNOW DAY! It snowed all night long and the schools are closed. This rarely happens...I'm so glad I went out last night!

It was good practice.

Tina--Wow, your story of your driving experience is amazing! Thanks for sharing. Yep, those power steering cars definitely made a difference to the old term of "steering" your car. What a luxury it was to finally get a car w/ that amazing power! Plus power brakes, FM radio and stereo speakers!

tina martin · Post by **tina martin** » Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:22 am

Paislee, if I were the writer of the program here, I'd incorporate your tale of "Outward Bound" on snowy roads. It's a wonderful example of thumbing our nose at our own obstacles and the elements. Just wonderful.

Maybe another time we can talk about our shared interest in healthy eating. No eating while driving either (kidding).

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Fri Dec 03, 2010 6:05 am

Way to go Paislee on your venture out in the snow. Excellent !!!

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:15 am

Thank you Tina M and Jillzmind!

Yep, definitely need to talk about healthy eating, for sure!

Also, when my DD was little, she saw me eating and drinking in the car. She reminded me of what she learned at school that you are not "suppose" to drink while driving! I had to laugh and explain to her that I was okay to drink a soda pop, just no alcohol "bad" drinks.

She also one time when younger would be giggling over seeing someone's luggage rack over the roof of their car. It looked to her like a giant Big Mac!

Of course, in her magical thinking she really thought it was a Big Mac. :p

Pianogirl59 · Post by **Pianogirl59** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:48 am

I can relate to all of you! I started having driving panic many years ago & it went away for quite awhile, when I moved to a different state. After being in CO for about a year, it started up again when driving on the interstate. From then on, I started driving all the back roads. It got worse in May, 2009 when following my mother-in-law on the interstate. Ever since then, I cannot be on the interstate, even if someone is with me. And, it's transferred into not even being able to drive the back roads. However, I can do those, as long as another adult is with me. My frustration is that I have a toddler & a newborn. I want the FREEDOM to be able to drive them places & have play-dates, go to the zoo, etc. Ugh! I just started the program today by watching the introduction video. Crazy thing is...I ordered this program almost 4 years ago & never opened it 'til today....and because a friend of mine received it without me even knowing. We're going through it together!

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:58 am

Hi Pianogirl--I'm sorry that you are having problems traveling on the Interstate. That would be hard when you have a toddler and a newborn.

I can why it would be hard to do so during winter time with all the snow. I would take back roads or regular roads that had less traffic or speed limit was lower. I hope eventually you will be able to overcome your fear.

Paislee

Sweetspassion3 · Post by **Sweetspassion3** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 12:26 pm

Thats great that you've had your healing untouched for 4 years and now you can go through your healing with a friend...that does not seem like a coincidence to me.

tina martin · Post by **tina martin** » Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:27 am

Hi Pianogirl, your situation reminds me of my similar time many years ago. I did not have the program here which I'm sure can be a big help. What I might suggest is that you try and arrange to get out there (have someone watch your children) by yourself or with an adult, if necessary. The important thing is not to let the fear get the upper hand. It tends to build and gain power over you the more you avoid the road.

Maybe you can arrange for a babysitter, do some food shopping, and you'll have a sense of double satisfaction.

Carolann · Post by **Carolann** » Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:55 am

I know you can do it. You a strong and capable. Yes, driving in the snow can be scary and it can be fun! So yes, get out there, take a friend who you trust and will totally support you. We are all pulling for you!