The Challenge...Lesson 9

THH · Post by **THH** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:55 am

Paisleegreen,
Thank you for your kindness!
My gram has been gone for 20 years! She was the best person in my life at one time. I know she still looks out for me and that is very comforting.
I still have pa, he is still the greatest. Hes old and needs my help more but I'm so glad I'm near and can do it.

I'm glad you have a big sister! I wished I had one, I'm the oldest! (I only have a 7 years younger sister) Big sisters will always be there for you.

That has to be a comfort! LOL...

I with a couple other friends, say as hard as it seamed growing up when we all did, it was so much better than now days. When you think of all the things we survived, no car seats, ( our moms arm) no helmets or knee pads to ride our bikes, Our cribs colored in lead paint.

We are tougher than we think! LOL....Oh don't forget the thermometer with mercury in it. We had a blast trying to pick up all the little balls when one would break! OMG! LOL...

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:48 pm

THH--You're right, we did have it pretty good!

I guess that's what makes it a bit sad for the kids today. Yep, Mom's arm! LOL! I usually was in the back seat and my little brother was standing in the middle front. Also those cars didn't have padded dashboards either!

THH · Post by **THH** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:05 pm

Mike,
I really like "Im only human" Great song!

I like your songs, I like the one by skillet.

I have one for you, its a 70's but I thought of you with your hip hop. You know "YOU can dance" Its more rock n roll but I think you will like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VobbXMgd5ao

THH · Post by **THH** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:08 pm

mcshope,
How are you? Are you still using the e cig?
I ordered one yesterday. I got the cherry flavor? How do you like it? Has it helped you with smoking?
Long time no hear from. Hope your doing great!

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:46 pm

I understand the forgiving thing as well. I work on forgiving my Dad and my siblings. My siblings are all alive and they just don't know all the circumstances except what my Dad told them. So since my father did help us out, not the most pleasant way nor did he handle it well at the end of his life. We do have a good business that will sustain us, while some of my siblings are having difficulty w/ finances and we have come to the rescue.

It still hurts, but I work on it. I could be really hurt and bitter and write off my family. But it isn't their fault, maybe in some areas. They are only human just like the rest of us.
Each having certain talents or tests in life.
One to benefit one way or another.

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:47 pm

Hello Everybody,

A lot has happen since the last time I was here!!! WOW.

I had 3 job interviews in these past days. Lucinda is right!!!! once you start doing something the anxiety is less and less. I just kept reminding me, "once I get there I will be ok... this is just an interview, just a practice opportunity"...

I've been feeling very good, still I took some xanax before I left the house, however I have been able to go to Wal-mart a few times and I have done good. I feel Good.

Thanksgiving is almost here and I still have a few things to take care of around the house.

Now I feel more confident that we will get over this panic misery.

Hope

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:02 pm

Mike,

Do you have an idea of how strong you are????
I really believe that you are one of the strongest person I know. You are right, life is not fair, however it is amazing how you are still fighting to make this a better world, to help others, to inspire others.
You have experienced some of the most difficult challenges I can imagine and you still are fighting.

I agree that your mom could done more to help and protect you. I am sorry that she was not able to. Moms are just human, like you and me. Sometimes they just don't know all the answers. Sometimes they don't have the strenght to fight against everybody. Moms also have their own fears and barriers.

I believe that your mom is very proud of you. Whereever she is, I believe that when she looks at you she feels proud of your accomplishments, proud of how you are not letting your past to dictate your future.

YOU ARE GOOD

Hope

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:12 pm

One question comes to my mind.... Have you forgiven yourself????... Have you really forgiven yourself????...

Sometimes I feel like I keep a little guilt hanging around, just to punish me... Kinda "use in case of emergency... You are feeling too good... here is a little guilt to keep you grounded"...

Why do we expect to do things 10000 times better than others?... why do we think that we don't deserve a good job, or a good partner, or a good day?...

The task is to forgive yourself... not look for forgiveness... but really, really forgive yourself.

Am I making any sense???????????

Hope

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 6:54 am

Wow that is alot of posts and I wasn't the one who posted them this time!

Paisleegreen;

What fits into the abusive category can be very contreversial and the definition is diffrent for diffrent people. Yelling at someone when they did nothing wrong and just taking stress out on them can be considered abuse if you think about it. It can be a fine line! Its like where is that line between disciplining and abuse?

As for the soap thing as a young kid I put soap in my mouth voluntarily and then made bubbles! It was kinda fun actually!

That could be a good read. Do you know of any books of men coming forward to talk about being sexually abused?

The forgiving I find is not an easy thing. The good thing in your situation is that you could confront them with how you feel at a later date when you feel you are more confident in handling it. If you let yourself know that you will do it, it makes it alot easier to cope. This is what I kept telling myself when I had found out I was molested and it helped me.

Mike

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:06 am

Mike, I can't recall if Dave Pelzer was sexually abused. There was a man on Oprah that tells his story of being used as a prostitute to bring in money for his "mentally sick" mother. Or the mother was the Prostitute. It wasn't that long ago either. They showed the house where all this "sick" stuff was going on and also how he protected his sister from becoming a victim.

Also, might have been the same show, they had the children of Wife of the name has left me,
but the Creep that kidnapped and molested Elizabeth Smart, the girl from SLC, Utah.

The adult children told of the abuse they suffered from this woman and the second husband, the one that is on Trial for Elizabeth's kidnapping and abuse. I'll report back on when I get the creep's name. I think David is part of it.