I am on the road to recovery. There will be obstacles but I am moving in the right direction. I must feel the discomfort and know that it will not hurt me.
rough day yesterday with my counselor...Ive been having such a hard time going places and driving beyond a maybe 1 mile radius....we talked about this and the inner struggles I have going on almost constantly...although I am finallly understanding my anxiety and I want so much to overcome this, I struggle with the inner change going on...she says because I fear the change, and I believe shes right....not only because of the change itself, but also the fear that I will not have a reason to fall back on and stayed trapped in my condition....this does make alot of sense to me...this inner struggle is so rough though.....
its like a fight every day....I guess maybe in the past I really didnt understand the anxiety so I just accepted it....but now that I am seeing it for what it really is and that I control it, I know that I just cant accept it anymore....maybe I shouldnt say that....but instead say, now I have a choice, to accept the anxiety or to overcome it.....and although I hate the anxiety, it is the easy way out...I never saw that before....it is easy because I just dont have to face life then...I dont really have to be responsible, make decisions, and take action....although I truely do want to do these things, it is so unfamiliar that it scares me....
just rambling on and processing my thoughts from yesterday.....so if that doesnt make sense, it was just more to help me
Mike
I loved Simon on American Idol....maybe it was the bad boy attitude, but maybe it was that he was "real" and didnt care who accepted his true opinions....fuuny that he was just being honest and people most of the time just didnt like his criticism, although he didnt always have to be so direct lol....but I think that his criticism and praise really helped those that took the time to listen to him and not get offended...he was very assertive, but kind of in an "I dont care whose feelings are hurt" way....I dont know, I liked him........the thing is when someone was really good, he did not have a problem praising them also, so it wasnt always bad....
Ok...as for the daily assertive practice...
You can't do anything right.
I would have to say I would go with option 2, disarm...so my response would look something like "you are correect in saying that somethings I cant do right and I accept that...but there are also many things that I believe I do end up doing correctly...and that is not a fair or true statement to say that I cant do anything right."
I also could not see your video, it is blocked in the US?? lol
just again wanted to thank you Mike for all the time and thought you put into the posts...I appreciate it
Jamie
glad to hear you started the treatments....I am very interested, so do keep us updated
sounds like you have been busy in a good way
have a great week-end!!
THH
I loved your response to the practice question from Mike....you just put it back on the other person, looking for their input......excellent and it avoided any thought or bad feelings....I really like that
believe it or not, I have never used calgon lol
its great to see that you are busy yet so calm.....you are actually enjoying life
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
keep up the excellent work
Hope
you also have been busy with just life, and that is excellent!! you have been doing so much and had that one morning of depression that you quickly overcame.....its awesome that you were able to get up and moving without giving in to the depression!! I know what a struggle that can be in itself....that also was only one small moment in your busy week....concentrate on all the time you stayed busy and functioned!! in my opinion you did excellent this week
and on to the haircut....I wanted to mention this separately because this is just such a major accomplishment!!! you felt the anxiety, you recognized it, you didnt run but instead dealt with it knowing that it could not hurt you...and the anxiety began to diminish......this is exactly how we want to be doing it, how awesome for you!!! I hope that you are still smiling from ear to ear because that is absolutely a huge accomplishment!!! Im so happy for you
creamcheese
I really like your outlook...detaching yourself mentally from the stress and realizing to slow things down and remain peacefully and uncomplicated...
I will definitely be trying thsi thought process when Im feeling overwhelmed....great way to put things back into perspective!!! seems also like you are lowering you expectations..awesome!!!