The Challenge...Lesson 7

[THH]

Hope,
You did really good at pushing your self to drive to your work! It will get easier as you keep doing it. Pop some good music in and like Mike says look for certain things like land marks, something to keep your thoughts from dwelling on your driving. Just keep challenging your self when you feel up to it.
Thank you for your support too, you will do well living a life where your home and job coexist. There are some great things about it and it is always a on going learning experience.

[THH]

Mike!
You are right with my black and white thinking. I AM working on gray!
I liked your post, it is alot to think about. I know I can't always Identify the distortion. I'm defiantly a double-standard person too.
I will be thinking of all this more as well.
For me this is another good point,

The goal when doing thought replacement is not to make you feel better. The goal is to find a way to put the lie to the irrational thought and that in turn makes you feel better

Its like getting in-between your thoughts.

That is kind of cool you had a dream where you were being assertive as well! I was thinking another thing you could try do, as in your sister and your granddad, practice. You could set a empty chair in your room and pretend either is sitting there. Practice what you may like to say to them. As in Kens part on the tape. I did not realize he was abused by his father. Like he says one day he just had to let it go...All things in due time. Just a thought?

Great on not pushing yourself when you didn't feel like it!

I always liked Cyndi Lauper! Time after time... good choice! She is very cool ...very deep but light hearted too.

I enjoy your post, I'm good. Always thought producing. Thanks for sharing them.

[THH]

Karen,
I'm so glad you are sticking with the program and getting farther into it. Good for you!!!
I'm very passive as well. I don't get aggressive though, I internalize then I self abuse myself for not being able to handle everything. I did not know I was doing it, amazingly! I messages work very well for me. It also gives yourself a chance to think about how you "really" feel, by giving it a word.

Great fun online!!! Sounds interesting....

[THH]

Lindalee,
Good on recognizing the general anxiety. Remember it won't hurt you, go to the 6 steps again.
Great on keeping the caffeine down too. It really is amazing how we are affected by the stimulants.

[Karen L]

I am on the road to recovery. There will be obstacles, I will deal will them and overcome them as they arise. I am moving in the right direction. I must feel the discomfort and see that it will not hurt me. Life is good

Im back
went to the store....did some driving, testing my limits...everything went well


Jamie

I can completely related to you...my anxiety has led me to "10" flat out, call the ambulance, I dont know who I am, where I am, or what I am doing....I actually had 2 since I joined this group...that is why I am struggling...they scared me so bad....

I also have the depression....were it literally is a chore just to wake up...

and I have bounced back and forth in one day on a few occasions lately...it is very draining....very scary...and depressing...I was afraid what to do next because I wasnt sure how I was going to feel one minute to the next....

but it will get better....it always does

please keep us informed if you do try that other therapy..


Mike

thanks so much for the self-esteem steps

sounds like Wednesday was a bit stressful for you....you have to remember not to "but" yourself so much....you really are doing alot daily and you need to recognize that you are accomplishing alot....

as far as over-sleeping...sometimes the body knows best what it needs....dont beat your self up for over-sleeping...

you still seem to look at alot of things you do as expectations...remember no expectaions, only goals...then feel good when you obtain them


Lindalee

I actually get a bit anxious at first when I go off the sugar...almost like an addiction, like smoking....your body craves it and you are denying it....it mightwork better for you if you slowly cut down...with me, I need to just completely quit and not have it in the house....I have such a hard time with moderation lol

it seems like your husband is very opinionated and knows that if he yells or uses name calling you will back off....I understand that you really want to talk to him, but is it worth it? to be treated like that? do you have a counselor? it might actually make you feel better just talking to someone else and getting stuff off your chest, rather than dealing with trying to talk to your husband, especially when you know the outcome will not be good...would he think about going to a counselor with you to work on your communication? Im not trying to be negative or talk bad, Im just trying to suggest a few things that might ne in your best interest...remember, we cant change any one but ourselves..


Hope

congrats on the driving!!! keep praticing and remember to stay in the present moment

btw, I really like your affirmation


THH


how's everything going with the water supply??
and the donkey?? I bet he is just too cute

did the deposit slips with the dogs ever come out??

Im definitely going to stick around and see the program through this time....Im really glad Mike found me and directed me to this forum, it really gives me the motivation I need

lots of fun online lol...hopig to meet him soon

already almost 11:30....6:30 comes so early lol
nite everyone and pleasant dreams

[NinjaFrodo]

Searunner;

Your breakdown of anxiety and depression makes alot of sense. I typically have the agitation, tension, fear, dizziness, rapid heartbeat sometimes, shallow breathing, bewilderment, confusion, poor concentration and poor memory.

Depression wise I have the lack of energy, apathy, easily fatigued and poor quality of sleep but I still get my 8 hours everyday.

Its good you have that visualization ability in the first place. Have you ever checked out Tony Robbin's stuff? He has alot of visualization things that might help you out. One of them is to basically ruin old memories with some wierd techniques which I'd go at myself if I could visualize better.

Yeah we do have some difficulty understanding each other, I have noticed that as well. Hmm panic attacks...well I get overwhelmed at times and feel like I'm getting close to panic but I don't get to a point where I have a full fledged panic attack. By the time it reaches an 8 or 9 I've already either left the situation, did some cardio or started to write things down on paper. The worst I get is I stay at a level 9 and just feel uncomfortable until I can leave the situation. Its quite annoying but I guess I don't really allow myself to have panic.

Wow our scales are diffrent. My generalized anxiety is usually at a 4. Level 7 is tolerable and I immediately know it is just my anxiety thats up and I would start to pull out my spiral notepad and I can usually calm myself down back to a 4 or 5. Relaxation might bring me from a 7 down to a 6. I'm not usually at a level 8 or 9 so much because I am very aware that i'm thinking irrationally and just because I'm feeling a particular way doesn't mean it is fact. I can still talk to people if I have to but my responses are very short and I end up just avoiding people. However if I cannot then I let someone know that i'm feeling anxious and that helps to bring it down for me. I only get to the stage you feel if I haven't had a bm in a few days and become really exhausted because of it, that puts me up to that level where I'm thinking hopeless thoughts and again I just avoid people. The only thing that helps me is flushing my system out. Self-talk doesn't do much and neither does cardio at that point. I get terrified that I am unmotivated and can barely do anything, I feel bad about myself and get very hopeless and sometimes get suicidal thoughts but I don't let myself get that way because I keep working on my digestion. But I have felt that same way myself before I realized about the digestion. I only realized about it because I was in collage and we were doing a project where we got into pairs and one person would treat once a week for 6 weeks and then switch. The treatments had amazing results and I had more energy and was happier and more motivated and yes I had rediculous bowel movements. Somewhere In between that 6 weeks I went to a wedding in a diffrent location and we ate pizza and well that completely stopped my bms and I went right back to how I was before and when I got back and had the treatments again, that great feeling had returned along with the energy.

I've even went to a colon irragation therapist and had a few colonics done and I would feel alot better, more energetic, more motivated, lighter, happier and I only tried that out because one lady I was treating in student clinic had suffered from constipation like me and had 5 or 6 treatments and she had got those same benefits and even her skin looked healthier, her eyes had more of a glow to them, she was alot quicker with her words and thoughts, she sounded happier even her voice was clearer.

There was another time when I did the lemonade diet where I was only consuming lemonade, flushing my system out every morning and taking laxatives before bed and I did that for 25 days and also got the same effect but went back after I started to eat poorly again. It has been a rollercoaster for me and it only started to be consistent after the dr had put me on senna pills for 3 months! Somehow I ended up becoming regular like that having a bm once a day (unless I ate cheese, yogurt, icecream, normal cream or too much dairy in the food and also at one point pork or beef as well). It hasn't completely fixed because I still have some exhaustion but I don't think all of my exhaustion came from digestive problems but I know most of it did. I am actually again having hard times with my digestion and have had to return to the senna but I'm doing it every other day instead of every day. This is why I keep mentioning the importance of digestion and I have also seen the same thing in some of the patients I've treated both in student clinic as well as professionally too.

I only learned things through trial and error and life experiences. All I can say is the only way to find out is to try diffrent things, the worst thing that could happen is it doesn't work.

I know It may seem like I don't understand and I do feel that sometimes I am more into giving advice instead of listening to what you have to say and I'm sorry for that. I just see how your in the same boat I used to be in or at least I perceive it that way and you have suffered for so long and I guess I'm just hoping my answer for that exhaustion is the same answer to yours but I cannot say for sure that this is what it is. Only you can know what has worked for you and what hasn't and how you feel and what you went through and your triggers and all that stuff. I don't want you to suffer anymore!! It hurts me to see you suffer.


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

Karen L;

Wow you are doing really good by pushing your limits, great job, congratulations!

This has been a breaking point for me as well. Breaking in the sense as I broke my attempt at going through the rest of the program on this session. For me its mostly because I'm afraid to face my limitations or at least the big ones.

See I think I used to be that same way with the aggressiveness until I first went through the program and actually I learned how to bottle it in more which obviously isn't the answer but I guess I didn't really get it and just felt like I would be rejected if I was angry at someone and lose them because I was also very desparate for people because I got disowned by my family. For me I'd let problems build and build and build and then get resentful and bitter towards that person and sometimes blow up at them.

Thats a good idea to start off with I's. For me after hearing working through lesson 6 I've gone exactly how she says to do it. Mention something positive about the other person (couldn't think of anything so I had mentioned the positive things in our friendship), then say "but there is something I'm feeling bad about that I need to talk about". I would then state that I felt really bad or hurt after the person said or did X. It seems to work well.

Well you're doing a good job and if you ever need help with some thoughts don't hesitate to ask us.

You have had 2 panic attacks since joining the group? What part of joining the group triggered it for you?

Your welcome for the self-esteem steps, I'm assuming you mean the diffrent techniques for the thought replacement. I was really hoping that it would come in handy for you. You have been struggling alot and I figured I'd throw out this information to everybody but my focus was on you when I posted it.

Ya sunday to wednesday was very stressful and you picked up on all the shoulds eh? Yeah expecations are one of the biggest cognitive distortions I have. They drive me nuts! I'm destroying them more and more each time I work through a should as well as also focusing on lowering goals that are too high.

THH;

It is alot to think about and it helps to write out the diffrent techs on a cuecard with a very brief description that you can pull out whenever or you could just check out the book it came from and work on it constantly like I did. Most of those are ingrained in my head, I just forgot to use them. I will be adding them to my thought replacement so If you read that section of my posts you can get an idea of them at work and they can start to become ingrained in your head as well, if you want. I forgot about these things and I just started to change to using these techniques and I'm realizing that when I was replacing thoughts before, I was feeling somewhat better but not at a gut level. Now I've already done it with several thoughts and I'm feeling so much better with it and I'd definately say most of them feel good on a gut level.

Its a good suggestion, I could even put a picture of them on the chair to get a good visual image because I have a hard time visualizing.

I think I need to split my daily posts into 2 parts now though. It looks overwhelming for myself so I can only imagine how overwhelming it can be for others. There are many people following our journey through the program and reading what we wrote and so gatta keep them in mind too.


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

My ideas, opinions, feelings and needs matter. I deserve respect and I deserve to stand up for myself. When I'm assertive it doesn't matter how the other person responds because I am doing it for myself and not for them. No matter what response I get, I will continue to stick to my guns.

Thursday;

Ok so today I had woken up a little earlier then I had wanted. I only got 7 hours sleep and I woke up after a really strange dream. There was a group of people at my grandfather's property and my cousin got this gun off of someone and shot several bullets. She was deliberately trying to miss some people by shooting in the sand besides them. None of them had moved at all, it was like they were frozen but she ended up killing someone. We got on a 4 wheeler and got away. We took a forest path that was really long and ended up in this really really big trailor park. It was surrounded by forest but the trailor park itself had no trees in it what-so-ever just grass and trailors and some people at one of the trailors. It was night time there but the moon was full and emitted alot of light. My cousin and I were talking about the severity of the problem and how if she got caught it would mean the end of her life because she'd be in jail. We fell asleep on the ground well there was a blanket underneath. I woke up hoping that it was just a dream and realized it wasn't and I was next to someone else and I said where is Dominic? (however my cousin's name is Jen) and then I woke up. Very strange dream I must say but there is starting to be a pattern here...Moon, Grandfather, Gun.

Other then that I posted the techniques for thought replacement and felt really good about that and started to use them again. I had actually forgot them and also one key thing. The goal is to put the lie to the thought instead of trying to make myself feel better. I was getting frustrated with the thought replacement before if you remember and I think this is why. I was making the goal too big! It doesn't seem very diffrent but slight change in wording can mean alot! Before I was feeling ok with my replacements but after doing those last thought replacements I feel more gut level which is what I wanted, its what I craved.

Oh and I also walked by an actor who is in a show that I just started to watch (Nikita, the new remade version) and realized only after and he is so hot! I kind of beat myself up for not saying something.

Oh and I tried to drink some frozen fruit juice and wow was that ever a big mistake! I had too much energy around the time I wanted to get to bed but I learned from it.

Accomplishments
Relaxation cd upon waking
Guided meditation
Posted techniques
Responded to posts
Posted my daily post
Went to a diffrent gym location
Did some cardio
Worked out my biceps but didn't push myself with the triceps today
Bought some groceries
Made some diffrent food
Watched a comedy show instead of playing my videogame
Thought replacements
Added new techniques to thought replacements
Didn't beat myself up for not doing the workbook even thought it was a goal for today



Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

Thursday thought replacement
1)My sister should be talking to me if she is going to be talking to my cousin.
[Should](examine the evidence)
->My cousin and I are 2 diffrent people. I'm not her manager, people don't have to go through me in order to get to her and everybody including my sister chooses who to talk to.


2)I should ask her what makes me cruel before her wedding day or else I'll be left out again and feel bad about myself.
[Should, magnification] (Double-Standard) I may even do a survey for this one too.
->I need to do that when I'm ready, not force myself into it and feel resentful towards me. Remember she is the one with the problem and she would be the one at a loss for not having such a considerate and loving brother at her wedding. I can get that acceptance, love and support from my friends.

3)I woke up too early, I feel anxious and its just going to drag through the whole day.
[magnification, overgeneralization] (examine the evidence)
->I have turned around many days that I felt would be too difficult to do. My exercising reduces my anxiety when I'm doing a decent ammount, I have lower anxiety when I relax, watch glee, do hip-hop and yoga as well. I rarely stay feeling the same as I do in the morning.

4)I feel too tired to do anything so I'm not going to be able to do anything.
[Emotional reasoning, all-or-nothing] (shades of gray)
->I feel tired and its not likely that I'll be able to push myself too much today but I've felt this tired before and still got some things done.

5)I have to rush to go to the gym or I won't have enough time.
[Should, fortune telling] (examine the evidence)
->Its 3pm and the gym is open until 11pm. I have the desire to go to the gym so I know that I will go. In the past I haven't went but that has been becacuse I haven't wanted to go, was sick or became too overwhelmed.

6)These techniques are going to make me all better. They are what I need to get over the condition.
[Magnification, all-or-nothing] (Semantics)
->These techniques have the potential to help me out alot but overcoming this condition will only happen with a combination of everything that I'm doing. Putting too much into one thing just creates more unrealistic expectations.

7)I feel so bad, I shouldn't have been so rude with that guy. He was asking for help and I didn't even listen to what he said.
[Should, Magnification] (Acceptance)
->I could have been more polite with what I said but I was very direct and I really do not have the means to help him. Its also not the end of the world that I responded rudely to someone. I'm not going to be considerate all the time.

8)I should have said something to that celebrity that walked passed me but now I won't get that chance.
[Should] (Examine the evidence)
->Acting is another profession just like Pumbing, Mining and cleaning. They are all done by human beings who all have the same wortha nd so I'd likely not get some life altering outcome if I talked to the actor as opposed to the plumber, miner or clearner. We're all human beings when ti all comes down to it.

9)I feel so bad, the DVDs were just sitting there and I stole them and the owners must be so upset and crying.
[Magnification, Fortune telling] (Examine the evidence)
->The were sitting out in the open at night time with nobody around. I saw them and took a walk around the block and they were still there. If I was struggling money wise I certainly woudln't buy 4 blue ray DVDs and then leave them outside unattended. I have never seen or heard of anybody crying over lost DVDs especially ones that were made within the last 10 years. I've seen them get slightly irritated and then just go and replace them. If I had left them there someone else would have taken them.

10)I shouldn't have had the frozen juice it had too much sugar and now I have too much energy to sleep
[Should, Magnification] (Acceptance)
->I should have because I did and I wasn't aware that it had enough sugar to do that to me and the only way to really learn things like this is to experience them. This just means I get to bed a little later and may feel more uncomfortable the next day but I will still get through the next day no matter what happens.

11)I should be getting to bed by 11 but I have too much energy and I'm going to fall behind on my goal and then just go back to how I used to be.
[Should, Overgeneralization] (Examine the evidence)
->There are many times we fall back into old habits when learning new onece, I am always in control of my actions and am not controlled by a robot or someone with a gun, I know the importance of my goal, I know how to motivate myself and I have the desire to create this sleep schedual and overcome this anxiety and depression.


Mike

[THH]

I have a real busy day today, don't know if I will get much of the program in. I'll catch up this weekend.
I have not got any lab results back. I have not seen a picture yet from my contest either, probably soon, I expect.

I did hear a great song this morning on the morning program. I thought I would share it! Hope you enjoy it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCj9dRu0ksM

Have a great day everyone!