Does anyone feel like this???

Lori1080 · Post by **Lori1080** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:20 am

I always wonder if I’ll ever be happy again, I swear my anxiety/paranoia has gotten worse in the past couple of weeks.

I worry constantly about my Mom’s health…

I worry constantly that all of my friends and I are growing apart somehow..

I worry constantly that my work could care less about me anymore..

I don’t like the person I’m becoming….

I can't concentrate on anything anymore

Does anyone else feel like this?????????

My 30 day trial dvd should come in the mail next week, I wish it would come today…

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:10 pm

I feel like that most of the time. Some days are better than others, but worries are constantly on my mind. Sometimes it's nice to just know there is someone else feeling the same way.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 5:04 pm

I totally feel like that sometimes! Luckily I've gotten to the point where I have more good days than bad, but I easily remember thinking your exact thoughts every minute of every day! Currently, I'm thinking, "boy Ive made a lot of mistakes at work lately. I just started at that location! I hope they don't regret hiring me! Maybe they're still weighing it out and I have time to redeem myself. Why am I making so many mistakes? I thought I could do this."

A week or so ago I had some caffeine for the first time in a while and my anxiety went nuts! I had a total meltdown! No one liked me, no one needed me, I was bad at my job... I eas the least important person on the face of the Earth! But I got through it. That was my anxiety talking. I really should give it a name. Maybe that'd make it easier to tell it to shut up!

On my good days, as my co-worker so properly put it, I "poop rainbows"! I decided a few years ago to let myself enjoy my good days. I laugh and giggle and decide what not to think about.

You're gonna be ok. I know you've been through a lot and it seems there's no turning back and you're destined to feel this way forever or get worse, but you're not. You've gotten through some tough times and you'll get through this. There is sunlight at the end of this tunnel. Can't you just see the rainbow I'm pooping? ;-P

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 5:28 pm

Lori.....As I got older, more wiser so to speak I think what happens to most of us is that we are so loaded up with information nowadays we dont have a chance at real relaxation, real forgetting about our problems...just "BEING"
I am from NJ as you are....I have lived here all my life and have found the section I live as being very "full of negativity" I am finally moving out of this craphole and going to breathe some fresh air. I will be homesick, I will be depressed, I will worry...this is a part of life. EVERYONE GETS DEPRESSED AND WORRIED...if we didnt we wouldnt be human. Its when it covets your entire way of living and functioning everyday that it becomes dangerous. I have had sick and ailing parents I took care of and have suffered through their passing. I keep myself talking with God, I dont do the traditional "prayers" so to speak because I truley dont beleive anyone wants to hear repetition over and over again. I talk to HIM like a best friend or a family member. IT works. He has come through for me after years of struggle and hardship. Dont give up....then you lost the war if you do. creamcheese

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 5:29 pm

I wanted to tell you about the idea I had. I thought of making a panic box that would have everything I need to relax and feel better when I'm upset. I wanna put art projects in there, my relaxation cd and I thought about writing a letter to myself when I'm feeling good. I could pretend to be a friend of mine feeling that bad and just write what I would say to her. Also, and I don't know how to go about this without seeming incredibly self-centered, I wanted to ask my family and friends to write me a letter to read that's full of positive statements. It'd be nice to read, though. ;-P

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 5:33 pm

PS..worry is like a record....you have the good song on one side and flip it over you have the rotten song. You dont have to play that rotten song over and over again....keep it on the good side and feel good!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:04 am

Worry is like record, tell me about it!!

Thanks for all the feedback guys...its nice to feel that we are all in the same boat here and again we aren't alone

MsPurple, thats a good idea!!

Thanks cream cheese...its tough to see your parents go through hard times..
My mom is diabetic type 1..
My dad is fine, just want him to loose weight and he is pre-diabetic too! :-p

My Mom on the other hand, I just wish she had more of a positive thinking...I wish she was the same person as she was early last year..
But..who knows...its tough...I think she is frustrated because she is comparing herself to last year with her other knee replacement surgery..and this year the recovery is taking longer
Also, I call her every morning at 9am, and for the past couple of weeks I can't sleep late on the weekends anymore because I'm constantly thinking about her

(Yes I live with my parents) Her diabetes mostly....she is going to her diabetic doctor on Tuesday...thank god...she hasn't been there since January of this year..she might need her insulin adjusted...who knows
It Could be stress....it could be she needs more excersise...it could be her diet needs to be better...

Then of course now I'm thinking the worst saying "What if it doesn't work" " What if she is leaving me soon".......I get scared and tense EVERY SINGLE DAY

I want it to go awayyyyyyy
Its UGGH

I can't take this anxiety..anxiousness anymore

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 2:22 pm

I don't blame you! I get fed up with it, too. I used to think my mom's happiness was my responsibility. It took me moving 300 miles away to realize I can wish my mom was happier all I want. I can even try to help her by giving her advice and doing things for her, but I can be happy even if she isn't. She makes choices in her life and so do I but neither of us are responsible for the other. I worry about her dying, too. I worry about everyone dying. Everyone close to me. A friend of mine died this July. Drowned on 4th of July weekend. After the funeral, I got really weird. Started being overall sad. Started writing my will. Started showing signs of serious depression (for me - unable to sleep or stay asleep, not laughing much, not knowing why I feel crappy, obsessive thoughts, loss of appetite). My fiancé got concerned and we talked. He said I had been like that since Donna's funeral and I broke down! I cried on his chest and asked who was gonna take care of me if he died. That was truly what was bothering me. I'm not sure exactly where I was going with that, but I'm glad I'm past it! The anxiety, the fear, it will pass.

Have you gotten your start up cd yet? I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of the system. I found it extremely helpful!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 2:29 pm

My mom's very negative too. Or at least she used to be. I took advice from Dr. Phil and redefined our relationship years ago. My dad had just left us and I was moving away to college and my mom was mad. I don't blame her. But I had to tell her I wanted us to have a good relationship and there were a couple things she could do that would really help. I told her I needed her to stop making me the messenger between her and my father. Said I needed her to understand that I'm hurting too and saying mean things about him only makes it worse. We decided to stop talking about him for a while. Now we're able to communicate with I statements and she really has tried to understand my point of view! We talk about everything and the first person I want to call on a bad day is her. We've gotten better because I asked her to stop being so negative and she understood. Maybe you could explain to your mom that you want a more positive relationship for both of you to enjoy. Give it a try? It can't hurt. You're just being honest and not in a mean way.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:43 am

We actually had a discussion last night with my sister, my Dad and my Mom regarding of how she feels...
It turns out she think she feels like this for awhile because she is depressed, because last year she lost her brother to cancer...and I think she has a tough time dealing with the fact that he is gone..
I miss him a lot too..
So I think thats why she feels shaky sometimes with her diabetes regardless of its good or high...
right?

I think maybe she might need some counsling or something...

Its so tough to see my Mom like this...she never used to be like this

My CD comes in the mail next week sometime..I have a feeling this will work..