The Challenge...Lesson 4

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:41 pm

Hi Jamie,

I am 100% with you on the license. If you don't need it and don't want to do it, then don't. It is difficult for me to understand the need for a license. I am in a similar situation, I got my degree in psychology in Mexico, I also have post gradute training in psychotherapy. I can't practice here because I don't have a license. I also applied for the license and was rejected. I would need to go back to school in order to be able to practice here. It was extremely frustrating. I don't want to go back to school, at least not for psychology. I would like to learn something like "natural healing", or Ayurveda, but not psychology.
So, if you don't have to do it, don't push yourself. Maybe in a future you can think about it again, but it seems like now is not the time for you.

Hope

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:44 pm

Ok so how about extending it for 2 more days instead of just one? Would everybody be ok with that?

Mike

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:45 pm

mcshope

Ah natural healing eh...Thats the field that I went into.

Mike

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:59 pm

I don't know what it was about that conversation with Karen L that lead to that discovery about negative thinking but Its making me more aware of my negative thoughts. I'm more motivated to use the stop sign when I get those thoughts. Thank you Karen L for being apart of that!

Mikie

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:19 pm

Dear Karen,
I hear you and I can't stop thinking on how similar your situation is to what I went thru.
I do not agree with your counselor, I think that you loved him, maybe you still do. But you also love the idea of not being alone.

Loneliness can make us do some crazy things, believe me, I have done some crazy things myself. My relationship with my ex-husband was never good, never based on respect and love. Before we got engaged I was really confused about my feelings, there were a lot of things I didn't like in the relationship, so I decided to break it. I was on my own for a few weeks, I also met other people, however in a lonely moment I called him, and we started dating again, not too long after that we got engaged and married. Long story short, he never changed, BUT I DID... I grew up, became more self confident. By the time I decided to leave, I was ready. I knew it was not going to be easy, but it was going to be better.

You are right, he is not going to change, he needs someone to blame, someone to make responsible for his behavior. That will not change, not without serious counseling.

I remember the urge to see my ex again, I remember the emptiness inside. Don't make a decision based on you feeling lonely. Remember why you left him in the first place.

Do something nice for yourself, invite some friends over, rent a nice, funny movie, go for a walk, make a nice dinner for you and your kids. Believe that you deserve more, you deserve more, yes you deserve someone who is willing to jump all the hoops to be with you and make you happy.... I know it is possible because I found a man willing to do that for me... I am sure you will find yours.

I remember what my therapist said to me once... Imagine all the people in this world, imagine that half of them are men... I am sure (he said) you will find your life partner among them.

Hang in there... resist the temptation.
And if you can't resist, it is ok.

Take care of yourself
Hope

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:26 pm

Mike,

Yes, two days more is perfect.

Yes, I have become very interested in natural healing, from ayurveda, to yoga, to homeopathy, acupunture, etc. Also I am interested on how what we eat affects our health.

It was nice of you to help your friend clean his place. I am sure he appreciated it. It seems that you spent most of the day out and you did good. Did you notice that you felt little or no anxiety while you were focused on your tasks?

Hope

JJ · Post by JJ » Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:35 pm

Hi Everyone,
Again, it's great having a group to be able to access every day.
I made a realization regarding expectations.
Unconsciously, I know one of mine was that I worked toward preventing illnesses to occur to my family, especially my parents. In looking back, I've spend a lot of energy trying to prevent bad things happening to them. So much energy that I missed a lot of the 'present moments'. I think the secondary gain was that I was trying to prevent myself from having to face them having a medical problem.....I didn't want to have to deal with it. So I spent all that time, energy, and worry trying to 'control' things. As I get older, I see that things are going to happen health wise to everyone, and most are not controllable. What made this really sink in for me was watching one of Lucinda's infomercials on You Tube. She talked about how no matter how good of a family you have, things do happen, and you can't control it. So it's given me a new perspective, and lightened my load, knowing that I shouldn't try to control everything that might happen.
I realize it was an unreasonable expectation.
Anyone relate?
My goal for going through the program again is that I live more in the present, and develop a 'sparkle in my eyes'. Did you ever talk to people whose eyes sparkle? It appears it's reflecting a soul inside that is at peace and contentment.

Joe

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 2:05 pm

Hi Joe,
Yes it is not easy. I do worry about my husband, he is very healthy, however I tend to worry, I wouldn't know what to do. I know that illness is something that we can't control and sometimes I wish we could.

I am also afraid of getting sick myself. I had a surgery last year, prior to the surgery I was visiting the doctor almost every month. I know now that part was stress, part anxiety, and part real illness. After that, just the idea of getting sick scares me. I can take care of myself, but I also can't control getting sick.
Just thinking about it makes me feel anxious.

Little by little I become more relaxed and stop thinking about things that are not here yet.

Hope

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 2:21 pm

THH

One of the reasons why I don't watch TV is the commercials. It is amazing how many medications advertise on TV. I used to watch programs like ER, not anymore, I can't handle it.

The other day we watched a movie "Young at Heart". Is a documentary about a group of seniors that sing rock songs. It was good, however it made me anxious to thing of getting old and dying. It is an inspiring documetary about not giving up, I truly recomend it if you can handle the idea of getting old.

We like Star Trek, you can say that we are trekies. We have all the different series and also all the movies. I enjoy watching Star Trek episodes over and over again. I think their message is positive. I can't wait for the moment when science advances enough that to diagnose someone you only need the little thing that Dr. McCoy uses... wouldn't that be great?

Hope

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Sat Sep 25, 2010 2:32 pm

I am more recovered everyday. No matter how negative I feel or what symptoms come up, I am still ok. I accept the reality of each moment and do not fight it. I have goals and I achieve them. When I feel frustrated, I know it is a sign that I'm on the verge of making a breakthrough and taking a big leap on a goal.

I know why I have been feeling more anxious. Two days ago I got a call from the place I went for a job interview. They needed another phone number for some of my references. I didn't think they were going to choose me because I am overqualified for the position, however if they are checking references, I guess they are thinking on me. Of course I started what-ifing... what if they offer me the job?... what if I can't control my anxiety?... what if, what if, what if.... I have kept that in the back of my mind, and it has been driving me nuts.

This has also a lot to do with my expectations... I should get a job... I shouldn't be afraid of going to work...

So I need help getting back to reality... they have not offered a job yet, and I am already worried.

Hope