How many males are here on this forum? Its hard trying to be a man with this crap.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:10 am

Does anyone have any problems as a man performing due to this anxiety or depression.I lost my wife 14months ago. I started dating and found when I am around my girl friend I cant always perform when my mind is willing my body wont respond . I even seem numb and get nervious and sweat ,simular to a panic attack.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:09 am

I am new to this forum but it seems like a great place so far. I am a 28, almost 29 year old male and I can relate to what all you guys are saying. I've been dealing with anxiety for about 10 years or more. It's tough because we all want to be the tough guy that isn't afraid of anything. But of course that's not true, even the strongest toughest man in the world has fears and just admitting that there is a problem and you need to fix it shows courage, which makes you more of a man. And Hairbenz I think we've all had that problem, even though no one has commented it's not that unusual. It's just something most guys are afraid to admit.Our little guy can come and go whenever he wants and if one time it's not there as quickly as normal it then makes it even harder to get him to come out. Then you get nervous because it's not working and that just makes it worse. The best thing to do, is if it's not there to stop, and try something else. Focus on your mate, trust me she isn't as upset as you think she is. Every woman has seen that happen. Once you stop thinking about it not working and wondering, "why is this happing, whats wrong with me...etc etc" and trying to force yourself to make it happen, it'll happen on it's own. Once you start thinking about it and trying to force it, you in turn make yourself nervous and then your no longer aroused which makes it even harder to get that little guy out. If you tell yourself, that this is completely normal, stop what your doing and try something else, like focusing on your partner, you'll become aroused again and that little guy will come out. It make take time, but it works. Good luck.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:45 pm

I am a dude and had my first panic attack when I was 30. Found out through talking with my folks that several family members have or had this disorder. After thinking about it, I can honestly say I have been dealing with anxiety or panic since I was a kid, but I didn't know what it was at the time. I have been going through cycles of feeling fine and then I'll have a set back and have to work on myself again. I found a good psych, who has helped tremendously. I also own the program and numerous books. I can say that I am often ashamed of some of my behavior, but I try to keep it in perspective.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:39 am

Another guy chiming in here...

In my opinion, to be a man is to step up and take responsibility, and to admit when we need help, and to accept that help, and be willing to offer it to others.

I think that societal pressure works against that, and says that "a man" is supposed to be strong and NEVER show any weakness or vulnerability, and to admit to any sort of problem is seen as a weakness. I think that is total crap... A myth.

I'm convinced this is the reason that men die so much younger than women. Also, look at the number of men who are abusers, alcoholics/drug addicts, etc. In my opinion, all of these things are caused by a mans inability to face his problems. And you can't face a problem that you can't admit to.

I used to wonder too, as I sat in the divorce group that I belong to... I wondered where are all of the males? There were some, but women outnumbered men consistently. Well, I found out where they are... Many were in the bars getting drunk... dealing with it that way. Many were sitting home alone, trying to stay busy, to keep their mind off it... Trying their hardest to show a tough exterior, that THEY don't have a problem. And stewing in anger and hatred of women. Hiding from their fears, and blaming their plight on their ex-spouse.

Total non-sense, IMHO.

It takes courage to face ones fears, and work to change. That's what real men do.

- Steve

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:20 am

While I cannot say I have been dealing with this for a very long time, I am a male, and really don't give a hoot who knows I am having these feelings. They are awful, and no one should have to go through with it. I know I can get better, and that is why I joined.

If you here, we know what you are going through is tough, and it does not matter if you are male or female, the difference is we are much smarter than those who will suffer in silence.

Don't let the sterotyping get ya!!!

StephanieMarie · Post by **StephanieMarie** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:23 am

I am a male, 21 years of age. This will be my second time attempting the program. The first time around I was going on two weeks without any panic-like symptoms. But something happened in my life that I allowed to throw me off course.

It has been to the point to where I can not even manage a job. I haven't worked in over a year now, and as a guy it really gets one down. I have a girlfriend and I want to be able to buy things for her, and also help financially with my family and buy them things.

This time I will give all I have to complete the program and keep hope alive. I never lived a relaxing day in my life, and I intend to find out exactly what that feels like. Peace & love to you all.

-Dustin