Great book for moving past a dysfunctional upbringing
I grew up in a ridiculously dysfunctional family and related to the book Been there, done that? Do This! by Sam Obitz and how it said you have to put the past behind you and use the tools in it to teach you how to live in the moment for a better future. I wear the counter all the time to keep my thoughts on the positive side and do the TEA form exercise in it all the time to keep from getting to emotional and upsetting myself. Best of all it's a short book and I am not a big reader.
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Hi Arlenez. I love reading, and especially self-help books. Putting the past behind us is easier said than done for sure. It's been a problem of mine like forever! I'm working on it though, and putting the past away, yet learning from it is crucial to healing so it's worth the effort for sure. I didn't grow up in a dysfunctional family, but there are a few things I need to put behind me, so I'm going to get that book. Thanks! PS. I wish you well, and I'm glad the book is helping you. Take care!
Hugs
Hugs
'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.'
I'll read any book that talks about a dysfunctional upbringing because I think that's where ALL my anxiety came from. My dad's an alcoholic and I thought just getting away from him would make me better. I was wrong because until I read this book and started doing the TEA forms to change all those ingrained anxiety causing thinking patterns I was stuck treating myself the same way my dad did. So much better now and still do the TEA's all the time and have put all my meds away too. Thanks for sharing your success Arlenez.
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egriff...what you said about your "thinking patterns" being the same as your dad's. REALLY hit home with me!
I had a very bad relationship with a boy from the age of 15 till almost 21. I FINALLY realized that I was doing the very same thing....that he did to me! I have beat myself up with neg. self talk for yrs!
My ex-boyfriend was the most neg. person I have ever been around! Then when I finally broke up with him. I thought Yes...finally I will have peace in my life.
I NEVER thought that I would do it to myself... But I did!
I recently got that same book. I hav'nt read much of it. I think I will try to pick it back up. I noticed the TEA forms did'nt start till about half way thru...that's one reason why I stopped reading it. I guess I'm a little
impatient
I wasn't sure if you were suppose to wait till that chapter or not to start the TEA forms?
Kinda like this program....don't jump ahead. I don't know?
Sorry about the rambling...I could just totally relate to what you said.
Take-care
I had a very bad relationship with a boy from the age of 15 till almost 21. I FINALLY realized that I was doing the very same thing....that he did to me! I have beat myself up with neg. self talk for yrs!
My ex-boyfriend was the most neg. person I have ever been around! Then when I finally broke up with him. I thought Yes...finally I will have peace in my life.
I NEVER thought that I would do it to myself... But I did!
I recently got that same book. I hav'nt read much of it. I think I will try to pick it back up. I noticed the TEA forms did'nt start till about half way thru...that's one reason why I stopped reading it. I guess I'm a little
impatient
I wasn't sure if you were suppose to wait till that chapter or not to start the TEA forms?
Kinda like this program....don't jump ahead. I don't know?
Sorry about the rambling...I could just totally relate to what you said.
Take-care
"Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world".
Karen I can totally relate to what you shared as well thanks! Who would have ever thought all those thinking patterns would be ingrained in us too? I never imagined that was what was holding me back! Give the TEA forms a try they have helped turn my thinking around and are pretty easy once you catch on to how to do them. Are you on any meds? I can't tell you how good it feels to be off all of them now and it was worth all the work it took now looking back.
when i saw "dysfunctional upbringing" i had to stop by and see what some of you had to say and i guess the word "ingrained" is what stuck out to me. THAT IS SO TRUE! it's like no matter how much you think you're 'over that' you still stumble into these 'triggers' that can make you feel like it's not all gone...and if you feel that way i'd venture to say that it's definitely not [all gone]. so this means that i need to explore this book. and i thought that i had given the self-help parade a break but to read the comments, i gather that this book is saying something different, something new. we'll see...thank you
egriff - and this is all in fun - be glad that you weren't forced (for lack of a better word at the moment - well, how about Divinely admonished) to live in the same dysfunctional house that you grew up in, first with the same dysfunctional people then without them but still in the same dysfunctional energetic aura nonetheless...What Point Is The Universe Tryin' To Get Across To Me?!!! i say this as encouragement because even this can be worked thru...eventually. i'm still working (minute-by-minute) but i seem to finally see a glimpse of the little light at the end of the tunnel. peace...
egriff - and this is all in fun - be glad that you weren't forced (for lack of a better word at the moment - well, how about Divinely admonished) to live in the same dysfunctional house that you grew up in, first with the same dysfunctional people then without them but still in the same dysfunctional energetic aura nonetheless...What Point Is The Universe Tryin' To Get Across To Me?!!! i say this as encouragement because even this can be worked thru...eventually. i'm still working (minute-by-minute) but i seem to finally see a glimpse of the little light at the end of the tunnel. peace...
Thanks for the note stonez and I totally get what you are saying. Stay strong and keep moving forward right? WE are all in this together and it is great to have a place where we can identify and help each otherOriginally posted by stonez:
when i saw "dysfunctional upbringing" i had to stop by and see what some of you had to say and i guess the word "ingrained" is what stuck out to me. THAT IS SO TRUE! it's like no matter how much you think you're 'over that' you still stumble into these 'triggers' that can make you feel like it's not all gone...and if you feel that way i'd venture to say that it's definitely not [all gone]. so this means that i need to explore this book. and i thought that i had given the self-help parade a break but to read the comments, i gather that this book is saying something different, something new. we'll see...thank you
egriff - and this is all in fun - be glad that you weren't forced (for lack of a better word at the moment - well, how about Divinely admonished) to live in the same dysfunctional house that you grew up in, first with the same dysfunctional people then without them but still in the same dysfunctional energetic aura nonetheless...What Point Is The Universe Tryin' To Get Across To Me?!!! i say this as encouragement because even this can be worked thru...eventually. i'm still working (minute-by-minute) but i seem to finally see a glimpse of the little light at the end of the tunnel. peace...