Needing some feedback
Hi everyone! I am into my third week of the program and am very happy to have ordered it. This weekend my husband and I went to a social function...the first in a LONG time. I felt good until I was called upon to play a game...and I paniced. I 'made' it through the game, which by the way I actually had to play 9 games (best two out of three) before I could say I was done. The thoughts were flying so fast through my head I had a hard time keeping up with them, I wanted to run so bad! Once the game was over it took me quite sometime to settle down. I felt bad because my husband was having such a great time and he knew I was struggling, I didn't want him to feel bad. we ordered dinner and I was still too wrought up to eat. I finally went in the bathroom and allowed myself to cry which helped. I was able to eat half of my food. Then someone came to me and informed me I had one more game to play. I got a to go box. I was using self talk and my brain looked like a ping pong table...negative...positive...negative...positive. I was getting angry with myself. I finally went out to our car and prayed. I prayed for God's Peace beyond understanding. I was hoping they would skip over me if I hid in the car, but they found me. I went in and I played AND I had fun. I remember thinking, "I have to do this one way or the other, I might as well do it having fun." I find myself looking back at the situation and I am still upset with myself. Why couldn't I just have enjoyed the whole time? In the end it ended up being the most fun I have had in a long time. I got to laugh and meet new people and I felt refreshed. I guess I am impatient I want to feel better right now!! I just need someone to tell me they understand....thank you!!
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Guest
I understand completely. Doing something you enjoy and then the anxiety rearing its ugly really stinks. The same thing happens to me.I do something that makes me happy and the negative feelings come flying at me from all directions. You did the right thing. You kept playing the game even though you were experiencing negative thoughts. That is a very hard thing to do. It's so easy to avoid a situation but you didn't. You should be proud of yourself. I think this situation happens to us because for so long we are negative thinkers that our mind gets used to feeling that way. Now as we learn to think in a positive way we have to re-train our minds to accept the positive feelings as the usual routine.
I'm currently beginning session 7 and I have made a dramatic turn around since session 1.
Stick with the program and you will continue to improve.
I'm a firm believer in God helps those who help themselves. Good luck and hang in there!!!!
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Guest