so angry need to vent right now. I feel like my husband is using my issues knowing that I am grappling with anxiety anbd depression to take my children away.Often I feel like he feels like he has done me a favor by marrying me and he made a comment this morning that made me think he has bugged the home phone and is listening in on my conversations with family members, because he says things like if you are so unhappy with me then just leave the children with me and go and live your life the way you used to
saying that my issues make me an ineffective mother and no judge would give me custody of my children because of it. How is this helping me to overcome my issues if I feel I am being attacked. At times he he can seems to be so supportive(he actually encouraged me to purchase this program) and then others so nasty in the things that he says to me. He is always ready to see all my flaws but unable to accept his own. I have changed so much of who I am since I have gotten married and given up so much of me I do not even know who I am anymore.On one hand I believe he wants me to get better and the question is will he be able to handle who I am when I get better. He is a total control freak and just doesn't see it. I want to keep my marriage and I love my children more tha life itself, and I will die before I let him take them from me. Am I wrong for feeling the way I am feeling?
Venting
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Guest
Constant, I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are feeling! Do you have a known mental disorder, or are you just struggling with anxiety and depression? (I shouldn't say JUST). My wife is very supportive of me as I go through this program. She knows I struggle, and in my opinion, your husband should be supporting you more. I, of course, don't know your whole story, but I will say one thing: Those that don't struggle with anxiety and depression MAY never know what it's like! Depression is often biological or hereditary, and some just don't get that. He should have married you for who you are, and not to "do you a favor". Marriage can't be based on that! Anyway, Constant, that is my opinion. I'll be saying a prayer that things will work out the best for you and your children. Take care!
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Guest
People who don't have issues will definately hold it against you. To be honest, though, everyone has issues. Some are just worse than others. I haven't been the most stable person in my life, but that's cause I endured a lot of abuse. It's just not easy to see why people are the way they are. It sounds to me like you should quit relying on your husband for support. I know that sounds bad, but if he is giving you hard times, I wouldn't take it. There's no guarantee of anything happening. It is what it is, if that makes sense. You can't change people. You can only change yourself. Hope that helped.
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Guest
constant,
the only important thing right now is that you are healing yourself. people who attack other people are just scared and feel inadequate about themselves. I dont think a judge would take your kids away from you for having anxiety. If your husband wont support you there are people here who will. i know you take your marriage seriously but you need to stand up for yourself. it makes me sad that the one person you should be able to depend on for some support is making it worse for you, like dealing with this crap isnt hard enough as it is.I do hope you get some love and support from somewhere.
the only important thing right now is that you are healing yourself. people who attack other people are just scared and feel inadequate about themselves. I dont think a judge would take your kids away from you for having anxiety. If your husband wont support you there are people here who will. i know you take your marriage seriously but you need to stand up for yourself. it makes me sad that the one person you should be able to depend on for some support is making it worse for you, like dealing with this crap isnt hard enough as it is.I do hope you get some love and support from somewhere.