life is good - and it's a long post!

can'tdanceandcan'trelax · Post by **can'tdanceandcan'trelax** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:54 am

Hello Man...A japanese maple beside the bubbler rock? Now I am REALLY jealous! That will be so beautiful. I just wanted to cheer you on while you're rocking through these panic attacks that are trying to get you. Congratulations, you are winning! You are beating this! ROCK ON!

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:38 pm

Thanks Dance'n'Relax !

I figured that since I'm not on a layoff this year, I'll treat myself to the tree.

Thanks for the positive words. The attacks are few and far between now. Since I've been working outside, I got a chance to work off the panic.

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:41 pm

anticipatory anxiety bites. the fear of the fear. something we all know too well. we are pavlovian trained. but then nobody - even people who have only experienced it a time or two wouldn't be able to stand it.

you made it up and out of the bed, ate some breakfast and drove yourself to work - and stayed. good for you! you went to home depot and another plant store. good for you! you plan to go to your sister's tomorrow to get a great tree - i'm jealous! LOL

how tight are your neck and shoulders? when you breathe are you taking deep breaths or shallow ones?

i'm so sorry - that's a given. i think that for some reason you've got a bit of a chemical imbalance going on that's working to right itself right now - and it will. i've always been a big believer in medication for my anxiety. i don't know if you're taking anything. now i'll leave that part alone - i know it's a personal and private choice.

it has rained here all day. mama asked if i'd heard the big storm early this morning. nope - never heard a thing. i stayed up too late last night to hear anything at 6:00 in the morning! i've left the back door open for the boys to run in and out and there's nothing like a wet dog. if i tried to put them out in the rain they would act so abused. give them free choice and they're water dogs LOL my biggest fear right now is the boys will catch that big snake and bring it in the house!

i've spent the rainy day with the tv on and in the living room just doing bits and pieces of this and that. i borrowed a ladder but i'm not in the mood to paint right now. i still have paint on my right ankle from last sunday!

i hope you're kicking back resting right now and enjoying a nice evening. when you're picking up your tree tomorrow remember to think about those of us who wish it was ours!!!!

rock on, party on!!!!!

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:53 pm

I've had friends and family that have mentioned to me about meds that will "take the edge off". I have a few (possibly more) friends that are taking something to take that edge off. The only thing that scares me about the meds is that I've heard that sometimes coming off the meds is worse than the attacks themselves. Possibly as the months and years go on, I may change my mind. I'm hoping that I can deal with this without the meds. I do have family and close friends that are on different ones. They mentioned the names to me, but I forget which ones they are. My cousin (the one in the country) takes something that is only taken as she needs it. It's not a daily thing she takes. I will look into it.

I'm truly relaxing now. I haven't had an attack since I came in from working outside.
Sounds like I need to do that more often !!!!!!

Hope your weekend is rockin'

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 2:06 pm

being at one with the earth so good for the soul and body!

i'm glad you're feeling better tonight!!!!

rock on tomorrow, my friend.

creamcheesepuff · Post by **creamcheesepuff** » Sun Apr 25, 2010 5:28 pm

Feeling pretty good, slumps come and go.
Rain doesnt bother me.....its so green in my yard.....love the birds singing so early in the AM...when its still dark out...I hear the Mockingbird....so cool.
I love the real early Morning, I watch the sky brightening up...the stars slowly disappear although they are still there. I see the stray cats walking around. People walking to work.
Cars hustling passed my house...sometimes too fast.
Its these things in nature that are so pleasing, so calming, and lets you know you have something so simple and free to love and enjoy....you dont need a dime to view nature. creamcheesepuff

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:04 pm

spring is a wonderful rebirth isn't it? birds are singing and soaring here, everything is green and greener, the sky is higher!!!

the wind was blowing a cold front through this afternoon. when mama and i walked around the lake, it whipped us around - it was wonderful. tomorrow it's supposed to be about 10 degrees cooler. that's fine with me!

i'm glad you're feeling upbeat and happy!!!!!

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:11 pm

hey how are you!?!?!?! come out come out wherever you are LOL

i had a good work day. came home and walked with mama around the lake - the wind was knocking us around - it felt wonderful. i finally got the tangles out of my hair!

i read something about a woman today who wrote/writes something called "the work" - considered really cool by some, a cult by others. am researching it LOL

i'm so glad it's a 4 day work week - even though friday is unpaid. if it's not raining, my garage is going to look so beautiful!!!!!

waiting to hear from you - but NO pressure!

creamcheesepuff · Post by **creamcheesepuff** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:23 pm

Karma......Had a pretty good day...although my car went back into the shop...its old and gave me 14 years of great use....hope its ok
I love the outdoors. I used to Kayack, hike and taught kids about the Native Americans that lived in the NJ/NY Hudson River areas. It was great fun. Funny how the jobs you LOVE arent the ones that pay alot.
My big fuzzy cat Puff is on my lap purring up a storm....its so relaxing.....I love my pets.
Its raining ...but I like rain only when the Tstorms stay away.....
Everything is so deep green in my yard...the grass is high and I am waiting for my landscaper....its sad when they cut it....its looks like long green hair right now!!!!
creamcheesepuff

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:40 pm

i mowed my front yard friday afternoon when i got in from work because i knew the rains were coming. for me, i love the look of a freshly mowed yard. but remember that's the only place i really cut.

i've got periwinkle abounding by the pool - which given the big snake i saw friday afternoon may not be the best thing in the world!!!! someone had come over the last week or so and said i need to cut everything back and then some. i don't see that happening LOL

yesterday i got 2 small frogs out of the skimmer and asked them if they were in hiding from the snake. then when i was sitting on the front porch with mama, there was a big grasshopper playing in the ivy. i wondered aloud if it was the one i rescued off my mantel.

mama says i have too much going on around here LOLOL