Met a real mean woman recently

cream cheese · Post by **cream cheese** » Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:37 pm

I encountered a woman(caretaker0 who apparently hated me for my car not starting in the cemetary in town where I live. She spoke broken English, was so annoyed....she yelled at me stating"I shouldnt be in the cemetary at 4:30pm)(closing time)but I was calm. My car wasnt starting, I was waiting for a towtruck...but she was pure evil. I explained my situation as the peaceloving person I am...she continued to be nasty and negative. It bothered me briefly, but like a bird struggling for flight from glasped hands I released it....Her problems were not mine even though I tried to make her smile and be friendly.....but I didnt stress over it like I usually do....a wonderful achievement!!! This felt wonderful...because I didnt carry her along with me in my mind....I loved it.....tapes are doing their jobs!!! creamcheese

Gisette · Post by **Gisette** » Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:46 pm

Great story, CreamCheese!

cream cheese · Post by **cream cheese** » Sun Apr 11, 2010 9:57 am

Gisette, It was tough, But I forced myself to realize that it wasnt my problem although she was directing her negativity toward me.....As a nurse I have cut through alot of tough I put my shields up..(like they do in Star Trek!!I dealt with many people in my career....kids, adults and elderly who had emotional walls up.....I worked on it slowly...I always put myself in their shoes....something is always going on in someones life but we arent psychic enough to really fiqure it out when we are with people.
I am sure this woman was a pleasant woman once you got through that hard crust, everyone smiles or laughs.....some more than others, some may not seem to smile at all but what they show on their face doesnt necessarily mean theyre hearts arent smiling. creamcheese

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:07 am

Thats very good to be at a place like that. The urge we get in situations like that is to get defensive/offensive, take stuff like that personally and then feel as if the other person has taken advantage of us. So Kudos to you for not letting that person have that negative effect on you. It really is not an easy thing to do but ya if you can remind yourself that it isn't your problem and that you don't have to react in a negative way then its a little easier to do. Personally I have gotten to that same place before but have fallen back. Thank you for the reminder with situations like this.

Mike

creamcheesepuff · Post by **creamcheesepuff** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 3:45 pm

Since then I am dealing with a rude irate neighbor about my stray cats in the yard who come to do their business in his.....I understood that....the cats are going other places now. He was loud, not nice at all for being a close neighbor...even though I have try to say hello is the past he always had a puss on. I continued to sit and listen to him at my front door one night while I sat in my wheelchair because of a severe muscle injury in my leg. He didnt give a crap. He was concerned about HIM......In the midst of the discussion and his loudmouth, I said calmly....while we are complaining here, I might as well tell you about the water pouring off 3 sections of your roof into the alleyway. which happens to have my property being affected too......he got all flabbergasted and had to think of another thing to blame on me.....which he did...he complained about my overhanging Maple.......I told him I will take care of the cat and tree problem very calmly, hoping he has somekind of considerating being I am not walking. I took care of the tree and the cats have been cut down to a mere 5 from 15. I think thats Progress...however ...his roof isnt fixed yet.........I am trying to move from this hell hole and dont have to deal with these rude people anymore. All in all I was quite calm and I was a good neighbor although I cant release his anger at my door he had. I just hate him for that, it was totally unnecessary.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:23 am

A while back, I was walking my little buddy, a dog,

to the cemetery where my son is buried. I take him for many reasons why one would walk their beloved dog. But for one, safety, and exercise and for the joy of it. He was my comfort after I lost this son.

Anyway, as I was approaching the cemetery and the area where my son is buried, a lawn guy starts hollering at me. I could hardly hear him. He told me not walk the dog on the lawn. I had to keep asking what? Then I heard him. So I shouted sort of a loud, upset "What?!" I asked him, so you are saying that I can't visit my son's grave? He said, as he got closer or I did, can't totally recall right now. I asked you nicely to not walk your dog on the lawn.

I responded I wouldn't let my dog urinate or defecate any graves and that there isn't a sign that says No Dogs Allowed. I knew that for a fact because we have been visiting and walking my dog there for years and because it is close to my home we chose to bury my son there.

Anyway, I was "allowed" just that once to have my dog go on the lawn.

I went away quite upset and angry, I never have yelled at anyone my frustration over the loss of my son and my rights violated to visit his grave before. It felt awful...I really never went back after that visit. I thought of how I could get a tag to make my dog officially my Therapy Dog to be allowed on the cemetery's lawn.

But he was injured and I had to put him to sleep before I ever did that again.
Now I noticed that there is a sign in small print with other rules that no small animals.
I think I read that right. Not sure what that means?

Because there is a pathway along a canal that people walk and it ends in the cemetery. I just feel this guy was being a "jerk" and a new lawn guy. Since the cemetery is wide open for any stray animals or people to venture on.

I guess part of it is that my little town that my son was a part of is growing to a city and its losing its hometown feel that I once refused to move to because I felt it was a "hick" town.

So CreamCheese, I understand your frustration.

creamcheesepuff · Post by **creamcheesepuff** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 4:47 pm

Paisley...the problem with people now and days is many are so touchy, annoyed, overwhelmed, cant handle their out of control lives and need to VENT to others.....I have found that IF YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE A NICE PERSON, people will crap on you. They will take every inch of your soul and rip it out like tissue paper. These people I view are "TESTERS" They test you when you are feeling a little down, somewhat on the edge but are still ok, they want to see you fall again, because they are falling and need someone to hold onto on their way down. Its important that we see this coming. Especially when we are having horrid moments ourselves in our lives that we need to tug on someone elses ripcords. If we recognize "these certain people" as you surmised that this caretaker was just a bit TOO ANNOYED to a poor soul bringing her pet with her to visit her sons grave,...we can fully disarm...as Mike Ninja puts it..and just either take matters into our own hands(very stressful) or walk away. But...this was not right. My cemetary has goose droppings all over, there are squirrels, lots of cats and possibly a guard dog there....they dont go on the lawns....if humans honestly didnt have that bowl in that lovely flower decorated room off the bedroom that flushed where would we be going? That was very disrespectful. He should have not yelled across a cemetary which is supposed to be a place of peace and respect , he should have approached you quietly and calmly. But he certainly had issues of his own going on. Like that Non english speaking woman in the cemetary I encountered. Evil reeked out of her.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Sat Nov 13, 2010 7:50 am

Creamcheese, Thanks, I really loved your comments, like the squirrels and geese! LOL!
The guy even said that he "asked me nicely" to not take the dog on the grass. That is when I just had it, so for me to speak up and say, You mean to say that I can't see my own son's grave w/ my dog that my son loved?

It did feel good to speak up for myself like that. I probably really looked exactly like what you described a small woman over 50 with a cute little furry dog on a leash. I wonder if I had been wearing leather biker pants and my dog was a pit bull, I wonder if I would have been bothered.

My son use to ride his electric scooter and bike through there all the time and the main caretaker that sold us the plots remembered him.
This was when of course we were in buying plots, 6 of them for the future.

This son also knew the laws on wearing a helmet while riding a scooter and if he could on the sidewalk. He talked w/ the police that had a new station built near the cemetery and made sure that he knew the laws. So that if any police stopped him, he could stand up for himself.

They had built a Police Academy in our little town and promised each graduate a job after they finished the course. So we are inundated with Cops for unnecessary coverage of silly speeding tickets, etc. We do not need all this police protection if they are going to stop people for silly reasons. They should be sending these guys out to the bigger cities and fight crime instead of being a "money maker" for the city.

Well, at least that is my opinion sprinkled from the opinions of my sons and DH.

We were just fine minding our own business w/o the extra protection.

Still a bit angry, can you tell? LOL! Paislee

cream cheese · Post by **cream cheese** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 3:07 pm

Hey Paisley..there are so many cities that need the police there, I lived In NJ for 54 years and just moved away. My town never had ENOUGH police for the amount of people it served. Its just so ridiculous. I think people nowadays are more touchy, and we are being told what to do moreso. Dont eat this, dont touch that, dont buy that its from China, we are innudated with negativity EVERY DAY when we turn on the radio, TV or read the newspaper. My town was becoming a sewer of people moving in who just didnt care how much noise they made or how their garbage flew all over the place and heres one thing for you.....I went on my front porch one night to have a cigarette and as I opened up my front door a very large dog ran up toward me....now this is in the dark and there was no owner around. I was stiff for a short time until I found that the dog was pretty friendly....THANK GOD!!!! He was very frisky and looked like a Rott Weiler type dog...kind of intimadating........I felt sorry for him and I had some beef cat food already with me that I was going to give some kitties that frequented my porch......I was going to give it to him and then I dialed the police, for he had a tag on him. Moments later a car drove up, a guy jumped out and was calling the dog. I asked are you the owner? He didnt answer....he was too concentrated on getting the dog into the car....I said I called the police being he had a tag and they could call you to pick the dog up being he was friendly.....he cut me off saying....YOU DIDNT HAVE TO CALL THE COPS!!!!
Well....HELLO?????? ok....then I thought to myself "next time your dog gets out, I wont give a crap about him and let him get hit by a car or something" I gave The A-hole the Beef cat food to lure his dog into the car and he never said thank you or responded......These type of people I can do without. I loved the dog...he was much friendlier than the owner, thats for sure.!!!!!!.....what a jerk the owner was!!!!!!!

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Sat Nov 27, 2010 8:19 am

I know some people that care about dogs and ended up caring for a stray dog, which was a hunting type dog. I think was still puppy age or close. So they cared for the dog, and took it to the vet and was ready to keep it when the owners came to claim it.

The owners live near me and our family knows that just get dogs and they are always getting lose and get hit by cars.

Anyway, the friends in the other neighborhood were not happy to give this dog back to these people after they invested money and care for this dog. The original owners didn't even pay them for money they spent to care for the dog.

But we know that these people don't make a lot of money. So sometimes they just need to not have pets they can't take care of. Now the daughter got a little poodle type dog. Then added a male, so they had puppies which they could sell. But these little dogs are always in the road and even sitting in the road.

Someday, one of these little dogs are going to get hit.

This family has a good heart, but sometimes just don't always make the best choices. At least they are nice.