Ready to live life again
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shelly1112
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:46 pm
I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Shelly and I am a kindergarten teacher in a very small community. I love what I do, but my anxiety causes me to at times feel like I am just going through the motions of life and not enjoying it. I have been suffering with panic attacks since I was about 18 and am now 27. At times it is worse than others, and now is one of those times. I am having constant anxiety and notice that there is always tightness in my chest and other muscles as well. Almost everytime I think about it, I notice that I am grinding my teeth and clinching my jaw. I am also suffering from insomnia and am only sleeping a couple of hours a night (with alcohol and sleeping meds.) I just bought this program today and am desperate to start feeling better. I am ready to enjoy life again and live the life that God has planned for me!!
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Guest
Hello Shelly,
Welcome. First, you're not alone. A lot people here share the same experiences and feelings as you. And second, if I can offer any advice at this point, it's give yourself a break. This is a process of reflection and discovery as to what makes you tick. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. You will have up days and down days, but they will over time settle into a nice easy ride.
Woodbridge
Welcome. First, you're not alone. A lot people here share the same experiences and feelings as you. And second, if I can offer any advice at this point, it's give yourself a break. This is a process of reflection and discovery as to what makes you tick. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. You will have up days and down days, but they will over time settle into a nice easy ride.
Woodbridge
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Guest
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Guest
Shelly,
Welcome to the forum! Just like Woodbridge says, you are at the start of a long journey. But, unlike the road anxiety leads us down, this one will actually take you someplace worth being.
I know just how you feel... sick and tired of having my life taken from me by anxiety. What really bites is that it is my own stinking brain that is doing it to me! Hows that for a kick in the pants?? lol
The program works but be patient. I made the mistake of wanting to be be well NOW. And got discouraged a few times. Took me years to get this bad but thank goodness it didn't take that long to start getting well!
This forum is a wonderful place to come for support and guidance. It helps me so much to know that there are so many others out there like me.
Be very careful with your alcohol consumption. I abused alcohol for many years and boy, did it land me in some hot water. It isn't good for you, no matter how you slice it. Sure, it was my only coping mechanism for a long time and I just didn't know what to do w/o it. Until it turned on me and it wasn't a friend to me anymore at all. Come off slowly and treat it like the chemical it is. You are medicating with it so treat it like medicine. The kind you are trying to get off of. Believe it or not, alcohol is actually making you more anxious because of the sugar highs and crashes. It's also a depressant and who needs to feel worthless and sad on top of anxious?
Again, welcome and know that you are being thought about and being wished only success!
Welcome to the forum! Just like Woodbridge says, you are at the start of a long journey. But, unlike the road anxiety leads us down, this one will actually take you someplace worth being.
I know just how you feel... sick and tired of having my life taken from me by anxiety. What really bites is that it is my own stinking brain that is doing it to me! Hows that for a kick in the pants?? lol
The program works but be patient. I made the mistake of wanting to be be well NOW. And got discouraged a few times. Took me years to get this bad but thank goodness it didn't take that long to start getting well!
This forum is a wonderful place to come for support and guidance. It helps me so much to know that there are so many others out there like me.
Be very careful with your alcohol consumption. I abused alcohol for many years and boy, did it land me in some hot water. It isn't good for you, no matter how you slice it. Sure, it was my only coping mechanism for a long time and I just didn't know what to do w/o it. Until it turned on me and it wasn't a friend to me anymore at all. Come off slowly and treat it like the chemical it is. You are medicating with it so treat it like medicine. The kind you are trying to get off of. Believe it or not, alcohol is actually making you more anxious because of the sugar highs and crashes. It's also a depressant and who needs to feel worthless and sad on top of anxious?
Again, welcome and know that you are being thought about and being wished only success!
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Guest
Hot Rod,
First off, thank you so much for your kind words! This forum is great. I just registered this morning but have gotten on several times already to check for replies because it just makes me feel encouraged hearing other peoples success stories and advice. I am going to start working on the alcohol issue today and am going to work hard at this program to find other coping mechanisms. I know it is not good for me, but for the past month or so, it has been the only way I know to relieve these irrational scary thoughts. Anyway, as I said before, I will work on it! Thank you again for taking the time to get on here and encourage new members! It really is wonderful knowing that I'm being thought about.
First off, thank you so much for your kind words! This forum is great. I just registered this morning but have gotten on several times already to check for replies because it just makes me feel encouraged hearing other peoples success stories and advice. I am going to start working on the alcohol issue today and am going to work hard at this program to find other coping mechanisms. I know it is not good for me, but for the past month or so, it has been the only way I know to relieve these irrational scary thoughts. Anyway, as I said before, I will work on it! Thank you again for taking the time to get on here and encourage new members! It really is wonderful knowing that I'm being thought about.
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Guest
Hey Shelly! First of all, you are not alone! I'm 32 and I too am suffering from muscle tightness, some chest pain, and all that goes with it! I'm learning that these are the physical signs of panic attacks. I too grind my teeth and I clench my fists without even knowing I'm doing it. I believe this program will halp you as I am already seeing the signs of improvement. I started the program on Christmas Eve and I'm excited about the potential. First off, eliminate the alcohol as it will make you feel worse. Like the program says, reduce your caffeine and sugars. Eat well, exercise and use the index cards. That's what I'm doing. Remember to tell yourself positive things. I believe God wants us to use this program. It's up to us! We can't control the wind, but we can control our sails! God Bless you!
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Guest
Hey Shelly! Welcome to the forums. You are not alone we all are in this together. I began the program over a year ago and am almost done with it for the second time. I use to have panic attacks but worse, I use to fear having them. It took me some time but I am happy to tell you I no longer fear them and as result I have not had a panic attack in months. Chris and the others are right. You will make it much easier on yourself by watching what you eat, eliminating caffeine, and limiting your sugar intake. We all have enough energy and adrenaline for for a group of five we definitely don't need anymore from that candy bar or soda pop haha.
Stay the course, you will have ups and downs and as you get into the flow of it you will have more ups and realize you had the strength in you to fight this the whole time you just didn't know it. God Bless and Much Love
Eddy J
" I feared I was losing control. I feel better now. Not because I regained control. But because I realized I never lost it in the first place"
Stay the course, you will have ups and downs and as you get into the flow of it you will have more ups and realize you had the strength in you to fight this the whole time you just didn't know it. God Bless and Much Love
Eddy J
" I feared I was losing control. I feel better now. Not because I regained control. But because I realized I never lost it in the first place"
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Guest
Chris and Eddy,
Thank you both for encouraging me! I just joined today but was so ready to feel like me again that I have already gotten into session 2. I know I am moving fast and plan on going back and taking more time the second time around but I am already feeling better about it and am honestly already feeling less anxious.
Chris - for about a month now I have not gone to bed one night without drinking at least a glass or two of wine and taking some sort of sleep aid. This is the FIRST night that I feel like I can do it on my own!!! Haven't had one yet and am already laying in bed. I already did the relaxation session 3 times today and plan to do it once more before falling asleep. Please keep me posted on your progress as well because since we started only two days apart, I think we will be able to support each other through this. Thanks again!
Eddy - I completely understand what you mean about the fear of the panic attacks!! That is exactly my situation! I almost always don't even have a reason for them except that I am so worried I will have one and lose control. I took myself to the hospital at 19 because I started having one at about two in the afternoon, and with no coping skills and not being educated on this illness at all, it continued until 8 am when I woke my parents up telling them I was loosing my mind. I ended up having to withdraw from college for the semester and my life was pretty much put on hold. I saw a few therapists and of course they put me on Paxil, but it still took a couple of months for me to be able to get back on with my life. Ever since that episode 98 percent of my anxiety revolves around the fact that I don't want to have anxiety or another attack and lose control. It just seemed like a cycle I would have to try and live with forever, but I am seeing now that hopefully that is not the case! I am extremely encouraged to know that your fears and anxieties were similar to mine, and you are no longer struggling with them. I got really frustrated with myself because I would have the anxiety sitting in my living room for absolutely no reason (except that I would start thinking about it and fearing I would have one.)
Anyway, Im rambling now, but thank you both again for your support and encouragment and please keep me posted on your progress as well!
Shelly
Thank you both for encouraging me! I just joined today but was so ready to feel like me again that I have already gotten into session 2. I know I am moving fast and plan on going back and taking more time the second time around but I am already feeling better about it and am honestly already feeling less anxious.
Chris - for about a month now I have not gone to bed one night without drinking at least a glass or two of wine and taking some sort of sleep aid. This is the FIRST night that I feel like I can do it on my own!!! Haven't had one yet and am already laying in bed. I already did the relaxation session 3 times today and plan to do it once more before falling asleep. Please keep me posted on your progress as well because since we started only two days apart, I think we will be able to support each other through this. Thanks again!
Eddy - I completely understand what you mean about the fear of the panic attacks!! That is exactly my situation! I almost always don't even have a reason for them except that I am so worried I will have one and lose control. I took myself to the hospital at 19 because I started having one at about two in the afternoon, and with no coping skills and not being educated on this illness at all, it continued until 8 am when I woke my parents up telling them I was loosing my mind. I ended up having to withdraw from college for the semester and my life was pretty much put on hold. I saw a few therapists and of course they put me on Paxil, but it still took a couple of months for me to be able to get back on with my life. Ever since that episode 98 percent of my anxiety revolves around the fact that I don't want to have anxiety or another attack and lose control. It just seemed like a cycle I would have to try and live with forever, but I am seeing now that hopefully that is not the case! I am extremely encouraged to know that your fears and anxieties were similar to mine, and you are no longer struggling with them. I got really frustrated with myself because I would have the anxiety sitting in my living room for absolutely no reason (except that I would start thinking about it and fearing I would have one.)
Anyway, Im rambling now, but thank you both again for your support and encouragment and please keep me posted on your progress as well!
Shelly
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Guest
Hey Shelly!
I actually remember my first panic attack at 7 years old. I remember having them in middle school daily. I always thought I was just a nervous person. The air would feel thin. My chest would pump I was 12 thinking I was drowning while standing up and reciting the pledge of allegiance in homeroom. My anxiety disorder came to fruition about 2 years ago after a major panic attack. Paramedics got involved it was an awful experience. I eventually found this program and I don't know where I'd be without god, my family, my girlfriend, or this program. I wish I had found this forum then too haha. Knowing all these folks from around the country and different parts share your struggles and send you their love and support feels so comforting.
There was a point when my panic was so bad I couldn't even go outside to get the mail because the air felt so thin. Yet after starting the program about a month later I was driving on my own again and drove for 2 hours alone to drop off my brother at the airport. I knew at that point I had come a long way.
You will lose the fear of the fear when you just go out and feel it and see that despite the panic, you are fine and you can function. I made progress little by little. I got to the point where I knew the panic attacks wouldnt hurt me, but I still dreaded having as bad a panic attack as the one I had 2 years ago when I was driving home and was 40 minutes away from home on the highway and could not breathe.
The day finally came when I had just as intense and scary a panic attack as that time. I said to myself " here is my moment, I am a different person than I was 2 years ago. I have awareness and skills. Lets do this thing." I got through it. I seized the moment and embraced the panic and got rid of it. I never again feared another panic attack.
I still have generalized anxiety but I am a stronger person than I ever was before. Everyday that I feel anxiousness I tell myself " Here is another chance for me to grow"
My advice is to stick to the program. Be patient. And bask in your daily achievements. The little things truly make a difference. It really does get easier over time.
If you ever have any questions, ask away. That is why we are here
Eddy J
" I feared I was going to lose control. I feel better now. Not because I regained control. But because I realized I never lost it in the first place."
I actually remember my first panic attack at 7 years old. I remember having them in middle school daily. I always thought I was just a nervous person. The air would feel thin. My chest would pump I was 12 thinking I was drowning while standing up and reciting the pledge of allegiance in homeroom. My anxiety disorder came to fruition about 2 years ago after a major panic attack. Paramedics got involved it was an awful experience. I eventually found this program and I don't know where I'd be without god, my family, my girlfriend, or this program. I wish I had found this forum then too haha. Knowing all these folks from around the country and different parts share your struggles and send you their love and support feels so comforting.
There was a point when my panic was so bad I couldn't even go outside to get the mail because the air felt so thin. Yet after starting the program about a month later I was driving on my own again and drove for 2 hours alone to drop off my brother at the airport. I knew at that point I had come a long way.
You will lose the fear of the fear when you just go out and feel it and see that despite the panic, you are fine and you can function. I made progress little by little. I got to the point where I knew the panic attacks wouldnt hurt me, but I still dreaded having as bad a panic attack as the one I had 2 years ago when I was driving home and was 40 minutes away from home on the highway and could not breathe.
The day finally came when I had just as intense and scary a panic attack as that time. I said to myself " here is my moment, I am a different person than I was 2 years ago. I have awareness and skills. Lets do this thing." I got through it. I seized the moment and embraced the panic and got rid of it. I never again feared another panic attack.
I still have generalized anxiety but I am a stronger person than I ever was before. Everyday that I feel anxiousness I tell myself " Here is another chance for me to grow"
My advice is to stick to the program. Be patient. And bask in your daily achievements. The little things truly make a difference. It really does get easier over time.
If you ever have any questions, ask away. That is why we are here
Eddy J
" I feared I was going to lose control. I feel better now. Not because I regained control. But because I realized I never lost it in the first place."
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Guest
Shelly,
Isn't it exciting? I, too, jump on here to check for replies and to see what's going on with everyone. It's very comforting to know that we have someplace to turn for help with these very singular issues. Friends and family just don't "get it".
I am so excited for you and cant' wait to watch your progress!
Go on with your bad self! lol
Isn't it exciting? I, too, jump on here to check for replies and to see what's going on with everyone. It's very comforting to know that we have someplace to turn for help with these very singular issues. Friends and family just don't "get it".
I am so excited for you and cant' wait to watch your progress!
Go on with your bad self! lol