Depressed On Christmas Day?

NIRELANDGUY · Post by **NIRELANDGUY** » Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:20 pm

Had to happen really didn't it, The happiest day of the year and I wake up depressed. I don't mean to bring any of you's down today I am just hoping someone can relate or offer some advice.

When I opened my eyes this morning I just felt like crying, I remembered its Christmas day and I just didn't care, I have heard of people being depressed around christmas because they are lonly or what ever, I am far from it, I have a wife and 2 kids.

I got up and watched the kids opening there presents and was smiling away but it near killed me to smile, behind that smile all I wanted to do was burst into tears for no apparant reason, I haven't been depressed in quite a while and i'm baffled as to why it has happened today.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:42 am

I woke up the same way and at one point I had to go to my bedroom to cry! I have never felt like this on Christmas. Know you are not alone...

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:42 am

OK, time to listen to your #3 tape again on self talk. What are you saying to yourself, what were you saying to yourself before this happened. Every Christmas I struggle with this. I hate it. It's some better but things kinda started last night at my daughters and I can hear the negative self talk in me (in my head if not out loud). Don't beat yourself up about it. Oh, I can so relate with the crying feeling. It will pass. It eventually does. I'm obsessing about a number of things with meds which I can't do anything about till at least tomorrow sometime so why ruin the day. So try to stop obsessing and live in the moment. Put on your happy face. Sounds phoney right, but honestly sometimes when you fake it till you make it as you say, you do end up feeling better. That's what I'll do today so we'll work on this together. Just posting may help too and knowing someone cares. I'm hoping even tho it's Christmas I can call someone on here who's been a great help to me. If I can't get her I'll tell myself what I'm telling you and they're thoughts just thoughts. You can do this and so can I. Tomorrow will be better or maybe the next moment even. Don't dwell on your feelings, push past them and so will I. God bless you. Let me know how it goes. I'll have everyone here in a few hrs. so need to hurry with the house and get food in a slo cooker. Don't say it had to happen didn't it. List everything you can be grateful for. Look over your program quick. You can do this nire and so can I. This program and people on here do help us. We're not the only ones who struggle with Christmas. What are or were your expectations? Lesson 4 also a good lesson.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 2:08 am

Hey...realize that Christmas is ALWAYS depressing for me, and always a let down. It has gotten better after going through the program because I try to lower my expectations in advance, and expect to feel a little low. Already this morning I got depressed when my 7 year old said Santa didn't bring him many things (just a 5-foot high roller coaster standing in the middle of the room!) and I got into a fight with my husband about a $40 walkie talkie that died 2 days before the warranty ran out and he just put it in a bag instead of doing something about it! It is always something. Just try to float with your feelings. Psychotherapists call the holiday period "money time!" because so many people are so depressed and anxious and they have floods of patients coming in they can't keep up with them all. So you DEFINITELY are NOT alone. Dwelling and feeling sorry for yourself will make it worse. You can shake it off, and make the rest of the day -- maybe not the Norman Rockwell best Christmas ever -- but an "OK" day anyway.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 2:37 am

I can pin point a couple of things which may have left me like this, The first one was going to my parents last night to get my present. I will sound ungrateful I know and I should of expected what I got but I though maybe this year would be different, I got a horrible jumper, same thing I get every year, I just though may be this year would be different, I always end up giving it to a charity shop in June/July time. I've never felt this way before at Christmas but thats maybe because I have been drunk every other year and that makes it more bearable, but since going through the programme I gave up alcohol so i haven't got that this year

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 3:44 am

There are so many reasons a person might be depressed on Christmas, but the reasons are not as important as your reactions. Do not allow yourself to "wallow in it". Remember your training. Breathe deeply in 2-4 fashion. Replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Enjoy the smiling faces around you (if there aren't any, enjoy your own smiling face in the mirror). Count your blessings (don't cheat yourself on this -- it is so easy to discount or negate your blessings, but don't do it).

Depression can only stay if you let it. It is not good for you or those around you. Beat it off with a stick! Think of something humorous (like the cartoon-type images Lucinda suggests).

You can do it. You can feel better. Don't settle for anything less.

Steve

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 3:58 am

Ok Im going to try to give you some perspective.

First off.....Stop this right now!
You said yourself in your original post you have kids and a wife and they are happy and healthy to be having christmas. Do you realize how many people out there are alone? They have nothing, no one! You arent one of those people you have family and house and freinds and health.

Christmas isnt about the presents we get from eachother. Some people dont get anything for christmas or even to eat on a daily basis so if someone thought of you and got you a jumper than so be it...you are loved and thought of.

Christmas is just a day....just like any other with a bit of magic thrown in if you choose to see it.

Whats positive in your life?
Wife! 2 kids! recovering Alcholic CONGRATULATIONS on that one by the way.....

Im sure you can add to this list if you think about it.

Life is a struggle its hard to sort through the stress and the sadness that it throws at us but its up to us to try and if you really give a good try you will do it.

Its ok to cry you have a lot of pent up emotions a lot has changed for you over the course of the year. Crying doesnt have to be sadness....you said you were smiling but wanting to cry perhaps tears of joy and overwhelming emotion not necessarily sadness.

Crying cleanses the soul. Men sometimes dont see that, they see it as a sign of weakness but thats not true.......let it out...embrace the day and the new year.....make resolutions to find the good in everyday! Focus on your positives not your negatives.

You can do this.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Dodger

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 4:03 am

The holidays are very difficult for a lot of people because that's when all the problems we have during the rest of the year seem even worse. There's an unrealistic expectation that Christmas is supposed to be perfect, and we're supposed to be perfect because it's Christmas. That just isn't so. It's just another day really, and usually one that has all the triggers many of us need to have a panic attack or depression attack. So don't beat yourself up about not jumping out of bed with joy on Christmas day. You smiled for your kids - that's good enough.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 3:56 pm

Well, I tell you, I was a little depressed today, and really struggling over the weekend with anxious, obsessive thoughts--even during my family gathering. What made it worse for me was thinking how much I usually enjoy Christmas, and this year I'm in such a funk nothing feels the same; that got me.
What I decided to "give" myself (and my long-suffering household!) for Christmas Day this year was a BREAK. A break from ruminating about my problems (as much as possible), a break from dwelling on the past, a break from thinking oh dear, every Christmas has to be perfect. It's only one Christmas. There'll be another one next year. I'm really appreciating my family and friends. (I did cry during the movie we watched--"I Am Legend" - well that's kind of a depressing movie, duh! Which normally I can handle, but this time...oh well!) It has been an okay day! And maybe it's not all about presents but the gifts I got were good distractions, and it's heartwarming to know people are thinking of you.

All I want for Christmas is a good night's sleep...a good night's sleep...maybe two night's sleep!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 25, 2007 7:29 pm

Wow! JudeKitty, what you wrote was exactly what I needed to hear! Just so you know, I was feeling the same way! I began a new job, one that demands me to be well, in my mind, perfect. Or at least, at the top of my game. So I had one of my lowest points on Friday (feeling like I really failed) but needed to get my home and dinner ready for Christmas Eve with my family-something I live for! But I got stressed about how I barely pulled it together and was really tense before and somewhat during (even though it was awesome-it went well). I was happy last night.
Then today, it was my Mom's turn. I went there and was so tense and irritable, I felt all the things you said. I tried not to think about it, and to not talk about issues, but I felt funky too. Told myself it is not the last one, but I didn't believe it until you said it!
I need Christmas-I used to go to church-our pastor who is retired made the holiday so holy for me-I need that. So, I decided that I will continue to celebrate-after all the 12 days of Christmas is just beginning! Maybe you can try that too-throw a party (I am thinking about it) and be with friends-go to church even ( I think I will too). Thank you for your post-even if it seems I am rambling, you really did make a difference to me!