Some of you haven't ventured down to the thread titled Triumphs so I went down there and snuck this post outta there ..I hope you don't mind Karmaberry1? Its so good and will help so many.
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Posted November 07, 2009 07:54 PM
i hope someone, anyone who's were i once was - completely housebound - will read this and know that this can happen to them also.
every day is a new adventure and a new gift. on this new adventure, every day i realize i've been given the gift of reinventing my life and myself. i never thought - in a million years - i'd ever be free again. in fact, it always made me so sad when anyone said i'd get better because i never foresaw it happening. yet it has happened.
things i do alone now: drive myself to and from work, grocery shop, eat lunch at restaurants, clothes shop, walk my dog two miles on the river walk, take my car to have it worked on, go to the hair salon. the list goes on and on. i don't have to rely on my incredibly wonderful support system of friends and family to ensure i'm fed and clothed! i'm now a big part of my support group too.
it's been a long process - my agoraphobia and panic are so deeply ingrained. there are times when i still feel the fear and anxiety - maybe there always will be. but i'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, that could be normal - something that happens to others who don't have anxiety problems. example: today i felt a bit off when i was on my way to the river walk with my dog. instead of turning the car around, i said to myself, "well, i've already had a big day - gone outside my comfort zone getting a car radio installed and waiting there alone - and maybe i'm hungry because i am dieting." bottom line, i kept moving forward - the anxiety left - and i encountered so many smiling faces and happy people as my dog and i walked in the sunshine.
i've learned such important lessons: be kind to myself, be understanding with myself, and breathe. breathing is one of the biggest keys to the plot of anxiety and panic.
if you're reading this and thinking, knowing, believing you'll never get better, that you'll never know freedom again - you just may be wrong. each step leads to another, then another and another - the ultimate snowball effect.
i try not to take my successes or happiness for granted - that's my reason for this post. i just want at least one person to know that - yes yes yes - life can get better.
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Isn't that Awesome? Thanks Karma for your Triumph it sure gave me hope for my recovery
Jill~
A MUST read :)
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