I'm from Toronto Ontario too and I've also been agoraphobic for 20+ years. I did the tapes years ago and I'm doing them again for the 2nd time. Hopefully the program will work better this time.
If anyone from the Toronto area is looking for a phone friend for mutual support, PM me.
Canadians??& Where from??
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Guest
Hi there,
I received my DVD package a couple of days ago. I have only opened it yesterday and played the introduction. I was anxious doing that. I am presently living with my daughter and son in law. I am having some difficulty finding the privacy and time to get started. It is a long weekend here in Canada and I am probably going to go and visit my sister which is two hours away from here. (if I can get in the car and drive for that length of time) Anxious about that also! So I am going to have to get started next week. I really hope this works, I am so tired of being tired!!! I will keep in touch. One thing I can say is that it is a relieve to know I am not one of a handful of people with this disorder. I know I am procrasinating about getting started. I will let you know if I made the drive to my sister's.
I received my DVD package a couple of days ago. I have only opened it yesterday and played the introduction. I was anxious doing that. I am presently living with my daughter and son in law. I am having some difficulty finding the privacy and time to get started. It is a long weekend here in Canada and I am probably going to go and visit my sister which is two hours away from here. (if I can get in the car and drive for that length of time) Anxious about that also! So I am going to have to get started next week. I really hope this works, I am so tired of being tired!!! I will keep in touch. One thing I can say is that it is a relieve to know I am not one of a handful of people with this disorder. I know I am procrasinating about getting started. I will let you know if I made the drive to my sister's.
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Guest
Here's my story:
I had my first of MANY panic attacks when I was 21. That led to agoraphobia. I went to doctors, therapists, read books, did Lucinda's program, and all those things combined helped me get better. The disorder never went completely away, but I could function with it.
Now 23 years later I am back to square one, and even worse because I also have depression like I've never had before (I'm having suicidal thoughts).
To add to everything, I'm not entirely sure the way I'm feeling is just due to anxiety and depression, because I feel deathly ill all the time and I'm dizzy 24/7. My appetite is completely gone. I have to force a tiny bit of food down, and even then I can barely swallow because not only does it nauseate me but it feels like I physically can't swallow it - my throat muscles feel like they're moving up instead of down - not gagging (although that sometimes happens) - but more like my throat muscles are so stiff that they won't move the way they're supposed to when I eat. I have lost 30 lbs since January and I haven't had a normal bowel movement since then. I'm either constipated or I have diarrhea.
My life was fine until 5 years ago, and then:
1. My husband left me, and left me with an STD. Thankfully it was curable but the fear of having caught something more serious from him along with the awful side-effects of the medication made my anxiety soar.
2. My brother was diagnosed with and died of cancer.
3. I was fired from my job for taking too many sick days in one year. I have been unable to find work since.
4. I lost my home. I'm living with my parents and my older sister, and that's not healthy for me because they make everything 100% worse.
5. I lost my car because I could no longer afford the payments. It's almost impossible for me to get around without a vehicle. Because of agoraphobia I can't take public transit and I can't be a passenger in a car. I have to be the one driving - alone. The only person I feel comfortable being with me in the car is my daughter.
6. My daughter moved in with her boyfriend. She has my blessings and I really like him but I'm going through the empty nest thing. I really miss her and it's difficult for me to visit even though she didn't move far away.
7. I have been unsuccessfully trying to get my ex to pay for half of our daughter's university tuition fee. Over the past year he's been yo-yo'ing back and forth. One day he says he will pay it, the next day he won't, then he will, then he won't again, then he can't, then he needs this document, then he needs something else.... he's always stalling and making excuses. I can take him to court but how does an agoraphobic make it to a court in downtown Toronto when I live in the suburbs, no car, and on a good day I can only stray about a 4 mile radius from where I live?
8. I've been living on my savings, and I'm now down to my last $293.78. That's what's in my bank account.
9. If a miracle doesn't happen soon where I find a job or I win the lottery, I will have to go on welfare. But how do I get to the welfare office to apply?
10. I know I would feel much better if I didn't live with my family, but even if I could afford to move, how does an agoraphobic who has no one to help her, even go apartment hunting? And renting just a room in someone's house presents it's own set of challenges. I have a germ thing too so I can't share a kitchen with people I don't know for sure are as clean as I am, and I can't share a bathroom for the same reason.
I feel like a trapped animal.
Now I don't know if any of this is why I feel so sick and tired all the time and I can't seem to snap out of it no matter what I do, or if there's something wrong with me physically - like cancer. I'm too afraid to find out, not that I could get to the doctor's office even if I wanted to.
Am I being a baby and making too much out of things that happened? Am I just feeling sorry for myself and have I become stuck in a neverending pity-party? A lot of people go through a hell of a lot worse and they don't fall apart. Or is there something seriously wrong with me physically? All my symptoms feel very physical, not psychological. Except for the depression and the crying for no reason at the most inconvenient times.
I had my first of MANY panic attacks when I was 21. That led to agoraphobia. I went to doctors, therapists, read books, did Lucinda's program, and all those things combined helped me get better. The disorder never went completely away, but I could function with it.
Now 23 years later I am back to square one, and even worse because I also have depression like I've never had before (I'm having suicidal thoughts).
To add to everything, I'm not entirely sure the way I'm feeling is just due to anxiety and depression, because I feel deathly ill all the time and I'm dizzy 24/7. My appetite is completely gone. I have to force a tiny bit of food down, and even then I can barely swallow because not only does it nauseate me but it feels like I physically can't swallow it - my throat muscles feel like they're moving up instead of down - not gagging (although that sometimes happens) - but more like my throat muscles are so stiff that they won't move the way they're supposed to when I eat. I have lost 30 lbs since January and I haven't had a normal bowel movement since then. I'm either constipated or I have diarrhea.
My life was fine until 5 years ago, and then:
1. My husband left me, and left me with an STD. Thankfully it was curable but the fear of having caught something more serious from him along with the awful side-effects of the medication made my anxiety soar.
2. My brother was diagnosed with and died of cancer.
3. I was fired from my job for taking too many sick days in one year. I have been unable to find work since.
4. I lost my home. I'm living with my parents and my older sister, and that's not healthy for me because they make everything 100% worse.
5. I lost my car because I could no longer afford the payments. It's almost impossible for me to get around without a vehicle. Because of agoraphobia I can't take public transit and I can't be a passenger in a car. I have to be the one driving - alone. The only person I feel comfortable being with me in the car is my daughter.
6. My daughter moved in with her boyfriend. She has my blessings and I really like him but I'm going through the empty nest thing. I really miss her and it's difficult for me to visit even though she didn't move far away.
7. I have been unsuccessfully trying to get my ex to pay for half of our daughter's university tuition fee. Over the past year he's been yo-yo'ing back and forth. One day he says he will pay it, the next day he won't, then he will, then he won't again, then he can't, then he needs this document, then he needs something else.... he's always stalling and making excuses. I can take him to court but how does an agoraphobic make it to a court in downtown Toronto when I live in the suburbs, no car, and on a good day I can only stray about a 4 mile radius from where I live?
8. I've been living on my savings, and I'm now down to my last $293.78. That's what's in my bank account.
9. If a miracle doesn't happen soon where I find a job or I win the lottery, I will have to go on welfare. But how do I get to the welfare office to apply?
10. I know I would feel much better if I didn't live with my family, but even if I could afford to move, how does an agoraphobic who has no one to help her, even go apartment hunting? And renting just a room in someone's house presents it's own set of challenges. I have a germ thing too so I can't share a kitchen with people I don't know for sure are as clean as I am, and I can't share a bathroom for the same reason.
I feel like a trapped animal.
Now I don't know if any of this is why I feel so sick and tired all the time and I can't seem to snap out of it no matter what I do, or if there's something wrong with me physically - like cancer. I'm too afraid to find out, not that I could get to the doctor's office even if I wanted to.
Am I being a baby and making too much out of things that happened? Am I just feeling sorry for myself and have I become stuck in a neverending pity-party? A lot of people go through a hell of a lot worse and they don't fall apart. Or is there something seriously wrong with me physically? All my symptoms feel very physical, not psychological. Except for the depression and the crying for no reason at the most inconvenient times.
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Guest
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Guest
Hi Forrester,
I am visiting Brampton from Owen Sound this weekend. I have a sister that lives there. I am a little anxious about the two hour drive. I have being making a plan to stop in a few of the little towns I my way to get me there. I started the program this week. I find it a little confusing and Overwhelming. I know what I have, I just want to get it going. I found myself a little more anxious since watching the tapes. It just keeps reminding me of the things I am afraid of doing and what I have being through. I just recently moved to Owen Sound area a month ago. I find it relaxing. I just got a job with the Red Cross to do visiting homecare. The first job I have had in two years. I am excited about it. I start Sept 17th. I have about two months of school at the beginning. I am going to have a lot on my plate, I have to make time to continue my tapes and sessions. I want this to be so history! I am glad it is working for you and I hope I have the same success.
I am visiting Brampton from Owen Sound this weekend. I have a sister that lives there. I am a little anxious about the two hour drive. I have being making a plan to stop in a few of the little towns I my way to get me there. I started the program this week. I find it a little confusing and Overwhelming. I know what I have, I just want to get it going. I found myself a little more anxious since watching the tapes. It just keeps reminding me of the things I am afraid of doing and what I have being through. I just recently moved to Owen Sound area a month ago. I find it relaxing. I just got a job with the Red Cross to do visiting homecare. The first job I have had in two years. I am excited about it. I start Sept 17th. I have about two months of school at the beginning. I am going to have a lot on my plate, I have to make time to continue my tapes and sessions. I want this to be so history! I am glad it is working for you and I hope I have the same success.
Hi everyone! My fellow Canadians 
, I am in Hamilton Ontario. -
Guest
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Guest