Very long, but need advice, God bless who ever reads it. Anxiety, or just laziness?
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Brandi Menifee
- Posts: 78
- Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:40 pm
Ok, I lost my job like 4 mos ago. The company had been firing and laying ppl off due to the economy for awhile before they let me go, so I kinda seen it coming just didn't know when. Anyway, for the past 4 mos, I have been collecting unemployment. Before I got let go, I told myself if I get laid off or fired, that I am just gonna collect the unemployment, and go back to school up until I don't get anymore unemployment, and go part time the rest of the way. Well I did go back to school, however that was short lived when I didn't recieve any financial aid, and had to pay out of pocket. I couldn't just sit on my ass, and not do nothing, so I stayed in school thinking I will come up with the money somehow. I got through the 1st month of the semester, but had to drop out of school after that becuz, I came to the reality, I could not pay for it with out any financial help! So now I just stay at home waiting on an unemployment ck, confused on what should I do?? I am getting married nxt summer, luckily my parents are helping financially with that. I do have an opertunity to go back this nxt semester, which I will be getting financial aid for, all of it paid for! However, I feel like if I go to school, I will be too overwhellmed with getting married and planning it, that I won't be able to give school my all! If I go back to school full time, which if I want financial aid to pay for all of it, I'll have to go full time, what am I gonna do when the unemployment runs out? I thought about surving off of student loan money, and school refunds, but that may not cut it. I also have to get a job way before nxt July, becuz I am leasing a car, and currently the car is in my dad(primary), and my name, but he said when it's time to turn the car in, if I want to keep the car, it will have to go in just my name! That can't happen if I don't have a job, and I don't even have the best credit, no where near. Let's just say before I lost my job, I was in the middle of filing for bankruptcy, and I had to stop the payments to that after I lost my job! So anyway, I get really confused on what I need to be doing with my life, and it doesn't help that I am jobless NOW! I have been in and out of college since 2003! I really want and need to finish college mainly for financial reasons! Don't wanna be financially challenged for the rest of my life! My fiance has a good paying job, very stable, but he don't make enough to carry us for long term! If I wasn't getting at least unemployment, there would be even bigger financial issues let me tell ya! Also, I am one of those ppl who have been spoiled all her life, and I am used to all doing for me! Reality is hitting hard when it comes to the real world. I want everything NOW! I don't want to work for what I want! Everytime I got ck the mail I'm hoping there is a big ck in there to get me out of debt, and buy me and my family everything we need and want, or hit the lottery!! I need motivation, I need that GO GETTER MENTALITY!! Where is it?? What sholud I do in my situation? What would you do for those who took the time to read this very long whinny persons dillema? School? Job? Ride the unemployment to the end? Live off of student money? What? My car situation? By the way my fiance and I have three cars between the two of us. My lease, which I love, his jeep, which he is still making payments on, and his very old car, which I do not want anything to do with, even if I have to depart with my car! If I have to depart with my car I want him to trade one of his cars in so I can have something nice! He says he's not doing that!! Anyway, so sorry sooo looong, but I needed to tell all the details, and I do need advice! Thx!
bloveholt
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Guest
Hi Brandi-
I think you kind of answered yourself, really. You are having a disconnect between what you have presently and what you want/are used to getting.
Here is my advice:
1. Go back to school.
2. Realize that the wedding is "a day". It is fun and special, etc. but it is NOT WORTH going into massive debt over and it is not healthy mentally for it to take over your life. Even if you were enrolled in classes, you could plan a wedding. It's not rocket science. What you are looking forward to is being Married. The wedding is a means to this end. If you had to get a dress at a thrift store and have cupcakes in the church basement for a party, you would still be married. You do not need to impress anyone else. You need to be happy and healthy and mature.
3. I'd think long and hard about "needing" 3 vehicles. I realize that you love your car, but maybe this is not the time for it. When you are more financially stable you can get a car you love again. It's just a material object. It will get dents and rust and get old.
I'd say that anxiety is not playing a very big part here. It sounds like you were a bit spoiled when you were younger and now that you are supposed to be taking care of yourself, you want to live at that same lifestyle level. It doesn't really work like that. Your parents worked hard to get to where they are and to be able to support you. You can not expect to just jump to that level, because you like it and are used to it. You need to do the work now, and not depend on your folks. It takes work and savings and decisions on what is really a need and what is a want. You may have to do without some stuff for a while.
I would maybe go with your fiance to marriage counseling about this. Money is a huge source of fights in a marriage, especially if you guys are not on the same page as far as how to spend, how to save and what your life goals are.
Good luck.
I think you kind of answered yourself, really. You are having a disconnect between what you have presently and what you want/are used to getting.
Here is my advice:
1. Go back to school.
2. Realize that the wedding is "a day". It is fun and special, etc. but it is NOT WORTH going into massive debt over and it is not healthy mentally for it to take over your life. Even if you were enrolled in classes, you could plan a wedding. It's not rocket science. What you are looking forward to is being Married. The wedding is a means to this end. If you had to get a dress at a thrift store and have cupcakes in the church basement for a party, you would still be married. You do not need to impress anyone else. You need to be happy and healthy and mature.
3. I'd think long and hard about "needing" 3 vehicles. I realize that you love your car, but maybe this is not the time for it. When you are more financially stable you can get a car you love again. It's just a material object. It will get dents and rust and get old.
I'd say that anxiety is not playing a very big part here. It sounds like you were a bit spoiled when you were younger and now that you are supposed to be taking care of yourself, you want to live at that same lifestyle level. It doesn't really work like that. Your parents worked hard to get to where they are and to be able to support you. You can not expect to just jump to that level, because you like it and are used to it. You need to do the work now, and not depend on your folks. It takes work and savings and decisions on what is really a need and what is a want. You may have to do without some stuff for a while.
I would maybe go with your fiance to marriage counseling about this. Money is a huge source of fights in a marriage, especially if you guys are not on the same page as far as how to spend, how to save and what your life goals are.
Good luck.