I just resigned from my job last Friday. I had good reasons to not like it there, but having anxiety disorder made it all much worse.
The last straw came when a coworker yelled at me, just when I was trying to do my job. I finally couldn't take the pressure and stress of the position itself, or dealing with the people, and I just packed my stuff and left!
I turned in my resignation letter the next day.
I do have a backup job from home, but now my worries pertain to health insurance and my last paycheck.
I am still unable to check the email reply from my former boss. I finally got myself to call HR today and leave a message, but I still don't know where things are at.
I have accepted that I will probably never be able to work a 9-5 job as a result of my anxiety. I cannot be in such close quarters with people for that long! Especially this job, I couldn't breathe without having a coworker next to me be right on top of me. I literally squirmed in my chair ALL DAY LONG!
I know leaving was the right choice - but I also know it doesn't mean my anxiety will go away. Now I will just have different versions.
I honestly don't know how anyone with anxiety stays employed. At this stage of my life, I find I'm unable to tolerate being in an office anymore. I think that would be the same even WITHOUT my anxiety! Not everyone is meant for 9-5 which feels like a prison. But if you have anxiety, it makes it only A MILLION TIMES WORSE!!!
Job Anxiety Made Me Quit!
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p.s. I am still unable to stick with this program. I try the first few sessions, and then give up. I don't know what is wrong with me that I cannot follow through. Something inside won't let me! Self-sabotage I guess.
I feel overwhelmed by this program. There is far too much to do in it! I was told by someone who did the program before not to worry about doing it all - just follow the workbook and watch the DVDs, and don't even listen to the CDs if you feel it's too much.
I mean it would take all day and night just to do all the suggestions she offers in this program. Who has time for that?
Anyone have any other advice as to how to move forward with this program? I will always need to do it. I have anxiety disorder for life. Don't I know it. I just wish I could help myself!
I feel overwhelmed by this program. There is far too much to do in it! I was told by someone who did the program before not to worry about doing it all - just follow the workbook and watch the DVDs, and don't even listen to the CDs if you feel it's too much.
I mean it would take all day and night just to do all the suggestions she offers in this program. Who has time for that?
Anyone have any other advice as to how to move forward with this program? I will always need to do it. I have anxiety disorder for life. Don't I know it. I just wish I could help myself!
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Its a big leap of faith trying to face our fears and just trying to accept change. It is not easy.
But I understand where you are coming from. I found it overwhelming at times as well trying to do the program. I kept trying to absorb everything and would sometimes feel disappointed when I couldn't grasp all the information. But I just kept on going. I think I had a lot of resistance at first with the program because I think in the back of my mind I feared putting all my effort into the program and not getting results. I came to the realization that believing I didn't have time to do the lessons, or ability to grasp the information were excuses I was making in order to avoid taking the risk of putting so much into a program and possibly not "getting better"
I told myself to just listen. "Just Listen" every time i had a concern about my state of mind during a particular lesson, someone in the group session for that lesson if not all of them were saying they were feeling the same way at that point of the program. That would reassure me that I was doing just as good as anyone else in the program. It reassured me that I was exactly where most everyone else was in the program. " I was exactly where I needed to be" - Ken...
I am now going through the program for the second time, and I find I'm catching things I didn't catch the first time through. It's almost like watching a funny movie the 3rd and 4th time. You laugh at the old jokes just the same, but you relish at the hidden jokes you missed the first time you saw it.
I still have my bad days, my extremely anxious days, and anxious episodes. And there are times in my most vulnerable moments where I think I am going backwards or something. But I remind myself that everyone that has recovered in the lesson CD's has had years to work on these skills and years to fully recover. I have only been using these skills for about a year. I am getting better and will one day be fully recovered.
So I am not here to give you advice, but words of encouragement. What you are feeling is very similar to what a lot of others were and still are feeling. You are not alone. But give the program a chance. Your anxiety wont get any worse because of the program. I think you'll find you can only get better
PS- As far as stress anxiety and jobs go, I can relate. My father lost his job in the recession, and at the time I was on lesson 8. My family needed the financial help, so I decided to find a job. I was thinking " theres no way I can do this, I'm not over the anxiety, I'm only on lesson 8!" But I went out and did it anyway. I worked retail for the holidays. I don't think it gets anymore stressful than that haha. And yet co-workers and supervisors would consistently tell me how much they valued my patience and tranquility under the pressure. They have all told me I look the most relaxed person out there. I was like, " they have no idea i have anxiety disorder haha" I couldn't have done it without the skills I learned in this program. But I couldn't have done it without opening myself up to something new and determination to sticking to the program despite the initial doubts and fears.
But I understand where you are coming from. I found it overwhelming at times as well trying to do the program. I kept trying to absorb everything and would sometimes feel disappointed when I couldn't grasp all the information. But I just kept on going. I think I had a lot of resistance at first with the program because I think in the back of my mind I feared putting all my effort into the program and not getting results. I came to the realization that believing I didn't have time to do the lessons, or ability to grasp the information were excuses I was making in order to avoid taking the risk of putting so much into a program and possibly not "getting better"
I told myself to just listen. "Just Listen" every time i had a concern about my state of mind during a particular lesson, someone in the group session for that lesson if not all of them were saying they were feeling the same way at that point of the program. That would reassure me that I was doing just as good as anyone else in the program. It reassured me that I was exactly where most everyone else was in the program. " I was exactly where I needed to be" - Ken...
I am now going through the program for the second time, and I find I'm catching things I didn't catch the first time through. It's almost like watching a funny movie the 3rd and 4th time. You laugh at the old jokes just the same, but you relish at the hidden jokes you missed the first time you saw it.
I still have my bad days, my extremely anxious days, and anxious episodes. And there are times in my most vulnerable moments where I think I am going backwards or something. But I remind myself that everyone that has recovered in the lesson CD's has had years to work on these skills and years to fully recover. I have only been using these skills for about a year. I am getting better and will one day be fully recovered.
So I am not here to give you advice, but words of encouragement. What you are feeling is very similar to what a lot of others were and still are feeling. You are not alone. But give the program a chance. Your anxiety wont get any worse because of the program. I think you'll find you can only get better
PS- As far as stress anxiety and jobs go, I can relate. My father lost his job in the recession, and at the time I was on lesson 8. My family needed the financial help, so I decided to find a job. I was thinking " theres no way I can do this, I'm not over the anxiety, I'm only on lesson 8!" But I went out and did it anyway. I worked retail for the holidays. I don't think it gets anymore stressful than that haha. And yet co-workers and supervisors would consistently tell me how much they valued my patience and tranquility under the pressure. They have all told me I look the most relaxed person out there. I was like, " they have no idea i have anxiety disorder haha" I couldn't have done it without the skills I learned in this program. But I couldn't have done it without opening myself up to something new and determination to sticking to the program despite the initial doubts and fears.
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It'sOK and Eddy,
I read your comments and agree with you. I too cannot handle a 9-5 job. Today I went to help with Ruby's Pantry. It only started here 2 mo. ago and then in another town last month. I'm doing volunter work because then I can leave myself open. I e-mailed the gal and said I'd help but could only do 9-11am. We're all kept very busy and I was glad when it was 11 cuz that was enough. I'm selling Avon mainly because I was fired of my job at the bakery after 1 yr. It seemed if I could keep a job a year I'd be ready to celebrate. About the time I got excited for being there a year I'd have a meltdown and that was the end.Now with Avon if I get anxiety I can head home cuz I'm not that far away or head to the park or some place to take a walk and feel better.
This is my 3rd time to do the program and I'm not actually doing it. I hadn't been here at the site for a couple yrs. and I'm so glad to be back. There's much help here. If the program feels overwhelming, go at your own pace but don't take too long on any one lesson. Also read the forum threads on that particular lesson. I find them to be very helpful. I filed for disability 2 different times and was refused both times. That was stressful to me too. I'm thankful I have a husband whose working but being a car salesman has not been easy this year. When he gets stressed my anxiety flares up more. Plus having ADHD and bi-polar at times only make the anxiety worse.
I wish you both the best. Keep on keeping on.
Barb
I read your comments and agree with you. I too cannot handle a 9-5 job. Today I went to help with Ruby's Pantry. It only started here 2 mo. ago and then in another town last month. I'm doing volunter work because then I can leave myself open. I e-mailed the gal and said I'd help but could only do 9-11am. We're all kept very busy and I was glad when it was 11 cuz that was enough. I'm selling Avon mainly because I was fired of my job at the bakery after 1 yr. It seemed if I could keep a job a year I'd be ready to celebrate. About the time I got excited for being there a year I'd have a meltdown and that was the end.Now with Avon if I get anxiety I can head home cuz I'm not that far away or head to the park or some place to take a walk and feel better.
This is my 3rd time to do the program and I'm not actually doing it. I hadn't been here at the site for a couple yrs. and I'm so glad to be back. There's much help here. If the program feels overwhelming, go at your own pace but don't take too long on any one lesson. Also read the forum threads on that particular lesson. I find them to be very helpful. I filed for disability 2 different times and was refused both times. That was stressful to me too. I'm thankful I have a husband whose working but being a car salesman has not been easy this year. When he gets stressed my anxiety flares up more. Plus having ADHD and bi-polar at times only make the anxiety worse.
I wish you both the best. Keep on keeping on.
Barb