Can someone relate?
Well I can sort of relate to what your feeling and all I can think of is if you are never really content with where you are because you feel your missing out on something then why don't you travel. The best way to know what if is to do the very thing your what if-ing. Unless you have the means, get a job where you can travel the world, then you can see many things,go many places and meet many people and have a sense of fulfillment. Your problems will go wherever you go so you will just have to be a work in progress but at least you will have that sense of fulfillment and you will get to do the very thing your obsessing about not doing. If you did this then when all was said and done you would be able to say you did the very thing that you wanted to do and will appreciate your surroundings because you wont have that feeling anymore of missing out on something. As far as having a therapist in your home town, take the program with you and use it everyday where ever it is you are. The best therapist you can have is yourself because ultimately we are the only ones that can fix us. I know to some this may seem a bit far fetched because some of us are not able to just pick up and go although I know I have felt like you at times. I however do not have the ability to do that because I have a husband and 3 kids. If I was younger and had the opportunity to do it I would do it because knowledge is power and everywhere we go in life, everyone we meet, everything we do will stays with us for ever. I believe everyone that comes into our lives is there for a reason and even if we do not recognize what that reason is some day when we look back we will understand why it was it happened the way it did. Running away is never the answer because where ever you go, your problems go right along with you so just own them, know they are there and are very real and take them with you where ever you end up and work on fixing them and you everyday. Whether you stay in Europe or decide to travel the world.
Hey girl.
I can relate. In a different way, in that I am married and have two beautiful children and am settled as a Stay-At-Home-Mother in Illinois.
BUT...
I have a Master's Degree in Teaching Foreign Languages. I am fluent in English, Finnish, French and Spanish. I LOVE Europe and I am the flip of you. I have lived in Europe (whereas you have lived in the States) and loved it. I MISS it. I kissed the ground when I made it to Spain. I've lived in Finland, France and Spain and a smaller time in Norway. And, like you, I moved back home (to the USA) and now feel like...I want to move...I want to go...I want to run away. I want to be free. I want spontaneity. I want to have fun, be vibrant, youthful and cosmopolitan again!
I also know that when I was living in all these different European countries - I was running away from my "old-self". The thing is, I could create my own new person. I could be anyone I wanted to be - No Limits! I could be fast, slow, studious, a partier - have many boyfriends, be faithful, just go out with the girls, smoke, drink, dance, love, laugh - be free. Anything. Anytime.
Ive since found the love of my life. He's my husband and best friend. And yet, I struggle hugely with the notion of being tied down. (not about being faithful to him) but I feel like I can't just get up and go anywhere anytime I want to. I can't just move to Finland. I became an adult and I don't know that I want to be one. I don't think I make a very good adult. I make a great exchange student.
So here I sit, with my degrees, at home with my kiddos. I suffer from crazy panic disorder and general anxiety. I suffer with feeling like I am going to pass out on a daily basis. I take Zoloft. It's rough.
I know about that unsettled feeling and not being sure if where we are or who we choose to be with are good enough. We are perfectionists and choosy - even in the choices of who we have as friends and where we live.
But the others are right. We are missing the here and now. We are living for what "could be" what "might be better" or "this isn't good enough. It doesn't meet my standards".
I wish you the best. Let us know how it's going.
I can relate. In a different way, in that I am married and have two beautiful children and am settled as a Stay-At-Home-Mother in Illinois.
BUT...
I have a Master's Degree in Teaching Foreign Languages. I am fluent in English, Finnish, French and Spanish. I LOVE Europe and I am the flip of you. I have lived in Europe (whereas you have lived in the States) and loved it. I MISS it. I kissed the ground when I made it to Spain. I've lived in Finland, France and Spain and a smaller time in Norway. And, like you, I moved back home (to the USA) and now feel like...I want to move...I want to go...I want to run away. I want to be free. I want spontaneity. I want to have fun, be vibrant, youthful and cosmopolitan again!
I also know that when I was living in all these different European countries - I was running away from my "old-self". The thing is, I could create my own new person. I could be anyone I wanted to be - No Limits! I could be fast, slow, studious, a partier - have many boyfriends, be faithful, just go out with the girls, smoke, drink, dance, love, laugh - be free. Anything. Anytime.
Ive since found the love of my life. He's my husband and best friend. And yet, I struggle hugely with the notion of being tied down. (not about being faithful to him) but I feel like I can't just get up and go anywhere anytime I want to. I can't just move to Finland. I became an adult and I don't know that I want to be one. I don't think I make a very good adult. I make a great exchange student.
So here I sit, with my degrees, at home with my kiddos. I suffer from crazy panic disorder and general anxiety. I suffer with feeling like I am going to pass out on a daily basis. I take Zoloft. It's rough.
I know about that unsettled feeling and not being sure if where we are or who we choose to be with are good enough. We are perfectionists and choosy - even in the choices of who we have as friends and where we live.
But the others are right. We are missing the here and now. We are living for what "could be" what "might be better" or "this isn't good enough. It doesn't meet my standards".
I wish you the best. Let us know how it's going.