Carrying your anxiety with you?

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mykoffeekup
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:40 pm

Post by mykoffeekup » Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:12 pm

I have carried my anxiety into every relationship I have been in. What kind of pattern is this and why am I doing it? I start out with everything being great and I have high hopes and then I get a thought 3-4 months into the relationship and the anxiety starts up and then I start second guessing everything I have done that made sense and got me to that point.
Any ideas?

cindylou
Posts: 64
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 9:31 pm

Post by cindylou » Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:14 pm

God knows why we do that to ourselves... Why isn't really important though, removing the action and reaction is. I am relaxed and easy going early in a relationship and scare myself out of the comfort by worrying about if I'm good enough for her, if she's the "one", if this is forever, if, if, if! I have covered up my real personality and changed to be what I think the other person wants and needs, leaving myself dissatisfied and unhappy as a result.

Trust yourself and be true to yourself. If you meet someone on those terms, chances are that any relationship resulting would have a chance. Hope this helps...

lost_1
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 4:24 pm

Post by lost_1 » Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:17 pm

Oh, by the way... Consider yourself fortunate. It takes me so long to get back on an even keel, I have a very difficult time trying again.

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:29 am

How about self esteem based upon a "shifting" (not stable) source? Maybe it's based upon performance rather than unconditional love and acceptance of yourself? Just a guess. Seeking self love, self esteem, filling up that empty resorvoir inside of us, from a relationship and the other person doesn't work very well. Security and self love have to come from within us whether it's faith in ourselves or in a higher power.

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:47 pm

Amen Brother... and very well stated as well.

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