Does anyone have any advice for dealing with a rather severe fear of flying? Usually, for a couple of months preceding needing to fly, I get nervous whenever I think of it, and by about the time I get to the airport, I'm always on the verge of having a panic attack. It makes it very difficult to enjoy vacations - instead of just relaxing and enjoying my time wherever I flew to, I spend the whole time worrying about the upcoming flight.
Once I'm on the plane, as long as there isn't much turbulence, I usually calm down by thinking things through (I took a few flying lessons when I was young, before I started getting panic attacks, so I know how the plane works). However, any significant turbulence triggers a panic attack. As a result, I always carry Ativan and a bottle of water on with me (and usually end up taking it if we start hitting any bumps).
Of course, the weirdest thing is, it gets me when I try to play flight simulators on my computer. I've never been able to figure that one out - whenever I load it up, I take off, and then I freeze up and close the flight simulator in panic. I've actually been having that problem since even before I started having problems on real airplanes.
Fear of Flying
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butterfly9
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:25 am
I can relate to you 1000% - I have had the same problem for a good 20 years. I am much better than I was a few years ago, but still not 100% over it. I have to leave for a trip Saturday with snow in the forecast, so I am a little uneasy. The best things I do to help myself are the breathing excercises, keep your focus in the present, and keep reminding yourself you can do it. It's trying to break a really bad habit through the repetition of good replacement behaviors. I honestly do not know why this started, but could probably tie it to some trauma in my childhood that decided to surface when I was in my 20's. I used to have a serious anxiety about driving and speaking in front of others, but with a lot of work and determination, I did get passed it. The flying thing seems to have replaced it. I don't have it bad enough where I won't fly, it's just the time lapses before take off that I imagine the worst. Once rolling down the runway, I am actually ok. As for turbulence, I am ok with it. I used to be all tense and would get physically sick. As soon as there is turbulence, I tell myself to let go and feel the whole experience-sounds crazy, but it's actually relaxing. I have family members who live in a box because they are afraid of so many things. I don't want to look back on my life and have those kinds of regrets. I am going to get through the last bit of my anxiety with this and I know you can too!!!
I too can relate. Many years of fearful flying literally kept me from doing it! Too make a long story short..I finally at 42 went and got a job with the airlines (ticket counter) to help combat the fear. I obviously fly for free and when I first got the job I flew and flew. My husband was so surprised after about 6 flights how he did'nt have my fingernails jabbing into his skin. WELL, that all worked well until summer storms came along and I would be on small planes that literally felt like the Matterhorn at Disneyland. My son would be laughing and I would be ready to have a heart attack. About 3 of these flights and I have not flown since. My last one had a diversion into Wyoming because of wind sheers in Denver. I was ready to get off the plane and rent a car to drive home...luckily a co-employee was on the plane with me and talked me out of it. I have not flown since, however, I'm ready to bite the bullet and start flying again. I have found that the small planes are way worse and I'm avoiding those. ONE thing that definetly has helped is to have some dang good headphones and music and/or Lucindas relaxation sessions to crank. For some reason the cd's take your mind somewhere else and you could be having turbelence and not even know it. ANOTHER is...after talking to several pilots, they have all told me that to close your eyes and think of turbelence as a "bump" in the road. Also that the planes are so flexible that when they hit turbulence, the plane flexes to withstand the pockets of air..I hope at least one thing I said helps. Good luck!
Put me on the list for this one. I try to pre-occupy my mind as much as possible with other things. I too start to worry weeks/months in advance, but once we get up in the air and level off, I'm fine...until we hit bumps. I think this a normal reaction for most people, to be honest. I like to sit in the aisle seat so I can keep an eye out on the flight attendants. I figure if they aren't running around screaming, then everything is fine haha. I have to go on flights with the own personal tv...like jet blue or darn I can't think of the other one...the planes with the animals on the tails. Anyway, someone a year or so ago sent me a link on here for a program that a pilot does..its on the internet, and free and it goes through how a plane works, you listen to common noises. I don't have it on this computer but you may want to google it. It helped me some.
"If you want it, you got it... you just have to believe....believe in yourself" Lenny Kravitz
Here is an interesting experience I've had with flying - one that's atypical, but might help some others.
I used to LOVE flying as a teenager (I'm 35 now). Somewhere along the way, in my late 20's (28 or so), I started to get very panicky on planes for no apparent reason. From that point forward, I DREADED flying. I would absolutely freakout getting on planes and be totally and completely wiped out by the time I arrived, even for short flights (1.5-2 hours) in perfect weather. It was manageable, but I hated it.
In 2005, my Mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I flew up from Florida to Connecticut were she lived for the surgery on Christmas day of 2005. I had a panic attack with her in the hospital that was awful! The flight home was terrible, too. So much panic and adrenaline it was insane.
We soon found out that the tumor in her brain was actually a metastatic tumor from her lungs. She was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer.
I am fortunate to have an older brother that lived 15 minutes from my Mom. He was there for her every step of the way, going to the doctors visits with her, hearing the diagnosis with her 1st hand - God bless him for it. He's a rock.
So, over the next few months, I flew up to Connecticut from Florida as much as I could - often twice a month. In the very beginning, I was scared to death of the flying - and I often had to fly through Atlanta, which meant 4 flights for the trip and not two!
Then, on one of the flights up, it hit me like a ton of bricks: perspective. Here I was, getting myself all worked up, adrenaline flowing and feeling panicky, when my mother *actually had something to be worried about*. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I thought to myself "How fortunate am I to be able to walk onto the plane, full of energy, go where I want at will, while my mother is spending her days in bed, fighting nausea and dealing with the thought of having a terminal illness?"
Suddenly, all of the imagined fears, the "Oh no, what if I get panicky and I can't get off the plane to a 'safe' place?" and the "Oh no, what if I pass out in my seat and stop breathing? Will they have to land the plane for me and stick me on the local news that night?" - they all paled in comparison to the cold reality that my Mom was dealing with.
Since then, I've flown 15+ times, feeling much better. On a recent flight back from Dallas to Florida, there were HUGE thunderstorms everywhere around the plane - something in the past that would have really flipped me out - didn't matter. I know flying is safe, and I've done it many times before - so this time is no different. I pulled my hat down over my eyes, put on my Ipod and went to sleep! Needless to say, we landed and I'm here writing this post.
So, what I hope to share from this is that something I've used in my life to help combat anxiety is *perspective*. No matter how bad you think you have it, there's someone less fortunate than you (not that you're gleeful of their misfortune - just happy with what you have), and that little bit of comfort is many time the only spark you'll need to let the anxiety and panic ride off into the sunset.
P.S. I had a 2 hour conversation with an Airtran pilot that was flying as a passenger one time. Of course I asked what his worst flying experience was. He told that he an another pilot were moving a plane with no passengers from St. Louis to Atlanta, when 15 minutes after takeoff, at something like 15K feet, the plane hit major turbulance (clear air). He said the plan shook so badly that he could not read the gyro that tells him the plane is level! He said it lasted 30 seconds or so then it was smooth the rest of the ride. It was an MD-80, which is an older plane. I asked him if he was scared at all, and he said absolutely not, that the planes can withstand orders of magnitude more force than that rough air gave, and that flying is 100% safe. We talked about all kinds of other morbid scenarios I came up with! I felt really at ease after talking to him in terms of the actual safety of flight. This was usually the genesis of my panic (not the closed quarters of flying), so it was nice to have some soothsaying in that regard!
I used to LOVE flying as a teenager (I'm 35 now). Somewhere along the way, in my late 20's (28 or so), I started to get very panicky on planes for no apparent reason. From that point forward, I DREADED flying. I would absolutely freakout getting on planes and be totally and completely wiped out by the time I arrived, even for short flights (1.5-2 hours) in perfect weather. It was manageable, but I hated it.
In 2005, my Mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I flew up from Florida to Connecticut were she lived for the surgery on Christmas day of 2005. I had a panic attack with her in the hospital that was awful! The flight home was terrible, too. So much panic and adrenaline it was insane.
We soon found out that the tumor in her brain was actually a metastatic tumor from her lungs. She was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer.
I am fortunate to have an older brother that lived 15 minutes from my Mom. He was there for her every step of the way, going to the doctors visits with her, hearing the diagnosis with her 1st hand - God bless him for it. He's a rock.
So, over the next few months, I flew up to Connecticut from Florida as much as I could - often twice a month. In the very beginning, I was scared to death of the flying - and I often had to fly through Atlanta, which meant 4 flights for the trip and not two!
Then, on one of the flights up, it hit me like a ton of bricks: perspective. Here I was, getting myself all worked up, adrenaline flowing and feeling panicky, when my mother *actually had something to be worried about*. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I thought to myself "How fortunate am I to be able to walk onto the plane, full of energy, go where I want at will, while my mother is spending her days in bed, fighting nausea and dealing with the thought of having a terminal illness?"
Suddenly, all of the imagined fears, the "Oh no, what if I get panicky and I can't get off the plane to a 'safe' place?" and the "Oh no, what if I pass out in my seat and stop breathing? Will they have to land the plane for me and stick me on the local news that night?" - they all paled in comparison to the cold reality that my Mom was dealing with.
Since then, I've flown 15+ times, feeling much better. On a recent flight back from Dallas to Florida, there were HUGE thunderstorms everywhere around the plane - something in the past that would have really flipped me out - didn't matter. I know flying is safe, and I've done it many times before - so this time is no different. I pulled my hat down over my eyes, put on my Ipod and went to sleep! Needless to say, we landed and I'm here writing this post.
So, what I hope to share from this is that something I've used in my life to help combat anxiety is *perspective*. No matter how bad you think you have it, there's someone less fortunate than you (not that you're gleeful of their misfortune - just happy with what you have), and that little bit of comfort is many time the only spark you'll need to let the anxiety and panic ride off into the sunset.
P.S. I had a 2 hour conversation with an Airtran pilot that was flying as a passenger one time. Of course I asked what his worst flying experience was. He told that he an another pilot were moving a plane with no passengers from St. Louis to Atlanta, when 15 minutes after takeoff, at something like 15K feet, the plane hit major turbulance (clear air). He said the plan shook so badly that he could not read the gyro that tells him the plane is level! He said it lasted 30 seconds or so then it was smooth the rest of the ride. It was an MD-80, which is an older plane. I asked him if he was scared at all, and he said absolutely not, that the planes can withstand orders of magnitude more force than that rough air gave, and that flying is 100% safe. We talked about all kinds of other morbid scenarios I came up with! I felt really at ease after talking to him in terms of the actual safety of flight. This was usually the genesis of my panic (not the closed quarters of flying), so it was nice to have some soothsaying in that regard!
I just wanted to add that the program that I was talking about...I'll have to find it and post the link... Anyway he said that fear of flying tends to come out of the blue for most people in their late 20s early 30s...so just something to think about.
"If you want it, you got it... you just have to believe....believe in yourself" Lenny Kravitz
Wow the last time I flew was in 2003 and the 1st time was in 2002 when my father passed away. I had to fly to Arizona to claim his body ( i never met him, briefly talked on phone for a few years) Anxiety was there but not too too bad. I have put off taking trips because of the fact i am not sure how i will do flying again. I want to take a long over due vacation and have been talking to my therapist on what i can do to get myself prepared. She told me i need to just do it and desensitize myself of the fear.
I wish a lightbulb would click in my head, it would make life much easier.
I wish a lightbulb would click in my head, it would make life much easier.
I used to be terrified of flying. I used to dread it for weeks in advance also. Then I took a new job where I had to fly. I was terrified on the first trip which was to Memphis (about 2 1/2 hours). I had to go back every few months. Gradually I got over it just by doing it again and again and now I love to travel. I used to have some drinks before I flew but I wouldn't recommend that. I think being distracted helps like someone mentioned about listening to Lucinda's CD's. I would try books on CD too for distraction. I had an uncle that told me that air is like water, you just can't see it. He said the air has waves in it just like water and that's what causes the turbulence. I used to be afraid of turbulence but now I'm okay. I think you just have to keep doing it over and over until the fear goes away.