Okay So I need to vent but I also need some advice.
Does anyone seem to notice when you are closing in on being more like "yourself""" that you get moodswings...anxiety..panicy...because you are becoming urself again?? I sometimes feel like I am crazy!! One moment im crying the next im frustated the next well im complaining..Its like im slipping into bad habits again!!THen the bad thoughts come back...nervous stomache..etc.
Im scared to over work..over do..over anything. Its like Im scared to be a normal functioning human being.
I want to work a lot because I am getting married in novemeber..but im scared if I work to much I will have panic attacks again.
Im scared to ever talk bad about someone or have them not like me because im scared im going to go through this all over again.
I guess all and all im scared of going back to this. I have gone SO SO SO very far with dealing with my panic attacks and anxiety that im scared that its all going to be taken away with the blink of an eye..
I almost feel like im scared to just let this go.like I kinda want to hold on to the negative..but being positive feels soooo good..why would i wat to hold on to this?!!?
Also..ive been really mean to myself lately too......i pick my body apart in the mirror..CONSTANTLY...
Do any one you ever feel like this??
Can someone please give me some insight??
Is this normal while you are reaching full recovery??
recovery roadblocks..
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Guest
DeeDee - I'm going to recommend you get Dr. Howard Liebgold's book Freedom from Fear. It sounds like you need to do exposing. You want to get to a place where it doesn't matter one way or the other if you have anxiety; where you no longer fear it coming back. If it comes, fine. If it doesn't, well, that's fine, of course, too. It's not about not caring. It's about knowing that you can handle it. You are still doubting if you can handle the feelings. Dr. L's book teaches you how to expose to the things you fear. You are still very much in your head (which often happens - this is normal) but you want to be able to dismiss those thoughts that scare you. Send 'em packing!!!
You want to love yourself every step of the way. When you hear yourself "picking on yourself negatively" just stop it in midsentence and affirm: I love my body. It serves me well. I love myself no matter what.
Do the program over again as well. Start with tape 4. You don't have to be carried away by your emotions. Allow your feelings. Allow the emotions. They are temporary and in time. They never last. Soothe yourself. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Knock that off!! "I'm going to soothe myself instead."
In the beginning it's easy to fall back into the old habit so keep the program's tools fresh in your mind. Read them daily and listen to the tapes that pertain to you and you find especially helpful over and over and over. Don't allow yourself to go back to the old habits. You will never go back to the way you were because you know too much. You've come too far. You will notice eventually that you are not falling back as often. You will notice the old scare voice from time to time but now you know how to deal with it. Use your new tools to overcome. It gets easier and easier each time. Pretty soon you find yourself dismissing the scare voice with the snap of your fingers. It does not have to rule your life.
Persevere, Dee Dee. Yes, you can expect anxiety to pop up from time to time. Expect it. So, it's no big deal. You know what to do with it. Welcome it. Embrace it. Allow it. Don't fight it anymore and don't wish it away. No more resistance to it. Do you see? It won't last as long and it won't seem as threatening, and you won't worry and wonder if it will come back or not. It will, but that won't matter anymore. You'll find it rearing its head less and less and less.
You want to love yourself every step of the way. When you hear yourself "picking on yourself negatively" just stop it in midsentence and affirm: I love my body. It serves me well. I love myself no matter what.
Do the program over again as well. Start with tape 4. You don't have to be carried away by your emotions. Allow your feelings. Allow the emotions. They are temporary and in time. They never last. Soothe yourself. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Knock that off!! "I'm going to soothe myself instead."
In the beginning it's easy to fall back into the old habit so keep the program's tools fresh in your mind. Read them daily and listen to the tapes that pertain to you and you find especially helpful over and over and over. Don't allow yourself to go back to the old habits. You will never go back to the way you were because you know too much. You've come too far. You will notice eventually that you are not falling back as often. You will notice the old scare voice from time to time but now you know how to deal with it. Use your new tools to overcome. It gets easier and easier each time. Pretty soon you find yourself dismissing the scare voice with the snap of your fingers. It does not have to rule your life.
Persevere, Dee Dee. Yes, you can expect anxiety to pop up from time to time. Expect it. So, it's no big deal. You know what to do with it. Welcome it. Embrace it. Allow it. Don't fight it anymore and don't wish it away. No more resistance to it. Do you see? It won't last as long and it won't seem as threatening, and you won't worry and wonder if it will come back or not. It will, but that won't matter anymore. You'll find it rearing its head less and less and less.
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Guest
Dear DMP,
Boon answered your questions extremely well!!!!
I would like to add that sometimes we are scared that if we are happy, then something bad is going to happen to undo all the "happiness" we have felt.
This is just "negative thinking" and is a totally "false truth". Place a stop sign up in your mind's eye, and replace this irrational negative thought with one that is more rational and truthful...
Believe me when I tell you thinking positive thoughts can only help you to become the person God intends for you to be. He wants you to be free from worry, and wants you to be happy!!!
Positive thinking is in no way "associated" with the "negative" things which come our way.
Everyone has good and bad days!!! That is a fact of life!!! Enjoy the good days, and live in the precious, present moments. Make the most of these moments. Try not to contemplate on the future, for we know not what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future!!!
I pray this helps to further answer your questions....God Bless
Boon answered your questions extremely well!!!!
I would like to add that sometimes we are scared that if we are happy, then something bad is going to happen to undo all the "happiness" we have felt.
This is just "negative thinking" and is a totally "false truth". Place a stop sign up in your mind's eye, and replace this irrational negative thought with one that is more rational and truthful...
Believe me when I tell you thinking positive thoughts can only help you to become the person God intends for you to be. He wants you to be free from worry, and wants you to be happy!!!
Positive thinking is in no way "associated" with the "negative" things which come our way.
Everyone has good and bad days!!! That is a fact of life!!! Enjoy the good days, and live in the precious, present moments. Make the most of these moments. Try not to contemplate on the future, for we know not what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future!!!
I pray this helps to further answer your questions....God Bless
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Guest
Dear DMP,
We have to stop thinking of it as going backwards. You are going forwards. Some days are better than others. When you are having a bad moment, think about all that you have accomplished so far. Do you remember how awful it used to be? It isn't anymore. It just isn't. Maybe someday something will happen to set it off again. Don't go looking for it. Do what feels right regardless. You are only capable of so much, just like everyone else. Some people can run around getting things accommplished all day long but they don't want to be like that either.
I really like the line in 'Finding Nemo' where Dory 'just keeps swimming'.
EVERYONE in the world has body issues. Even Brad and Angelina. Keep up the good fight.
We have to stop thinking of it as going backwards. You are going forwards. Some days are better than others. When you are having a bad moment, think about all that you have accomplished so far. Do you remember how awful it used to be? It isn't anymore. It just isn't. Maybe someday something will happen to set it off again. Don't go looking for it. Do what feels right regardless. You are only capable of so much, just like everyone else. Some people can run around getting things accommplished all day long but they don't want to be like that either.
I really like the line in 'Finding Nemo' where Dory 'just keeps swimming'.
EVERYONE in the world has body issues. Even Brad and Angelina. Keep up the good fight.
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Guest
Hey everyone!!
Thank you all so much
Boon you ALWAYS have the right thing to say! And I always also know that you mean what you say. and that is super important. I respect you so much for that. And want to thank you for always being so kind and replying to my posts..it really means a lot to me
Ms T Bones----I agree with you 200% I feel like that when I am happy and feeling good..that I dont deserve it and that because I am happy something bad is going to happen to me.
Its pretty sad..Im trying my best not to let that get the best of me anymore
Marshmellogirl
Thank you also. Yes I do remember how awful it use to be and how HARD and LONG this journey has been...but everyday when good things do happen..I guess its just more and more worth it.
Love the quote also. And about the body image..im working on it...its been a battle of mine for a LONG time...since I was little....so now Im thinking of working out as something that will make me happy once I am done with it..and since because of this..Ive lost 8lbs this week! yay lol
Thank you all again
xoxox
Dena
Thank you all so much
Boon you ALWAYS have the right thing to say! And I always also know that you mean what you say. and that is super important. I respect you so much for that. And want to thank you for always being so kind and replying to my posts..it really means a lot to me
Ms T Bones----I agree with you 200% I feel like that when I am happy and feeling good..that I dont deserve it and that because I am happy something bad is going to happen to me.
Its pretty sad..Im trying my best not to let that get the best of me anymore
Marshmellogirl
Thank you also. Yes I do remember how awful it use to be and how HARD and LONG this journey has been...but everyday when good things do happen..I guess its just more and more worth it.
Love the quote also. And about the body image..im working on it...its been a battle of mine for a LONG time...since I was little....so now Im thinking of working out as something that will make me happy once I am done with it..and since because of this..Ive lost 8lbs this week! yay lol
Thank you all again
xoxox
Dena