Well guys I did it I got inspired by everyones posts to go out for a drive with hubby. We haven't been out together in the car in almost a year,with the exception of a few trips to my sister in laws 4 blocks away. We haven't been to church together or movies or anything. Tonight I just did it. We , me driving, went to church and back. It's just under 10 miles round trip.I did good there but got anxious some on the way back but I asked hubby to be quiet while I focused on the road and on my breathing.
I feel really good right now. He isn't that impressed. But I guess he doesn't remember how hards its been and all the times I turned around in our apartment parking lot too scared to leave our complex? Oh well maybe it will sink in by morning? I did it and I feel awesome. Thanks again for all of your successes that inspired me to get out and try.
xo
Jill~
One More Step
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forever young 06
- Posts: 284
- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm
Jill -
ForeverYoung06 is absolutely right. What you did was an amazing improvement. I'm so excited to hear that you first made the decision to take such a big risk, second followed through, and third handled yourself like a pro. I don't know if you keep a journal or not but this is something I'd definitely write down so you can remind yourself of what a great accomplishment you made. Be sure to note how good you felt about yourself.
I know for me that as I improve, I sometimes get increased anxiety for a short period afterward. My thoughts are that I've increased expectations through my accomplishments, both mine and those around me. Don't let that anxiety get you down. If you keep trying and keep taking risks, it calms down and you continue to make progress. You haven't lost anything, you're mind and body are just adjusting to new circumstances.
Keeping gas in the car can be tough so remember there are other ways to get out. Take a walk. Ride a bicycle. Anything just to get out of the house. You're goal of getting showered and dressed every day is a very good one. It's like my therapist tells me: "suit up every day." I think that's so important I just recently added that to my avatar comment.
Jamie
ForeverYoung06 is absolutely right. What you did was an amazing improvement. I'm so excited to hear that you first made the decision to take such a big risk, second followed through, and third handled yourself like a pro. I don't know if you keep a journal or not but this is something I'd definitely write down so you can remind yourself of what a great accomplishment you made. Be sure to note how good you felt about yourself.
I know for me that as I improve, I sometimes get increased anxiety for a short period afterward. My thoughts are that I've increased expectations through my accomplishments, both mine and those around me. Don't let that anxiety get you down. If you keep trying and keep taking risks, it calms down and you continue to make progress. You haven't lost anything, you're mind and body are just adjusting to new circumstances.
Keeping gas in the car can be tough so remember there are other ways to get out. Take a walk. Ride a bicycle. Anything just to get out of the house. You're goal of getting showered and dressed every day is a very good one. It's like my therapist tells me: "suit up every day." I think that's so important I just recently added that to my avatar comment.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
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manofmusic
- Posts: 711
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:07 am
- Location: Canada
Hot Rod - Yes, my legs look pretty good ! LOL Thank you for your concern LOL The no salt, sugar, caffeine thing is going pretty well. The no salt is toughest for me. I never realize how much salt is in pre-packaged food. Canned soup may as well be a can of salt. There's a TON of salt in it. I can feel my hands get really tight if I eat salt. I'm getting the water in to flush it out, but with that much salt I might as well bring a drinking straw down to the river !
Jill - forever young's right ! You did awesome ! Just do it anxious. It won't kill you.
SeaRunner - I know that when I take a day off work (which isn't often) I feel guilty for doing it. It took a while to get over that feeling of guilt. How do you feel in the morning before you head off to work ? Is it a decision the night before that you won't go to work, or is it something you decide as the alarm goes off in the morning ?(I'm assuming you work days). You are right that the boss may not like you taking too much time off. When I have a panic attack in the morning when I get out of bed or in the truck on the way to work, I really have to struggle to not pull over and turn the truck around. There have been many days where I'd walk across the parking lot at work and it felt like I was walking on a boat. It felt like I was going to fall over. I thought I was going to get a full blown dizzy spell, but it never happened. Maybe tomorrow, get out of bed and get ready for work and take it one minute at a time. Remember to breathe as you get ready and maybe even get up a bit earlier so you aren't in a rush. Since it's Friday tomorrow, you'll have the following 2 days off. (assuming you don't work weekends).
I'm going to concentrate on the salt thing again this coming week. I've done well with no extra sugar or caffeine. I KNEW the salt would be a tough one. I need to be careful on reading labels. If the first ingredient is salt, then put it back on the shelf ! I need to get a recipe for a salt substitute with different spices and stuff.
Time for a mug of ice cold water ! (and 3 trips to the bathroom)
Jill - forever young's right ! You did awesome ! Just do it anxious. It won't kill you.
SeaRunner - I know that when I take a day off work (which isn't often) I feel guilty for doing it. It took a while to get over that feeling of guilt. How do you feel in the morning before you head off to work ? Is it a decision the night before that you won't go to work, or is it something you decide as the alarm goes off in the morning ?(I'm assuming you work days). You are right that the boss may not like you taking too much time off. When I have a panic attack in the morning when I get out of bed or in the truck on the way to work, I really have to struggle to not pull over and turn the truck around. There have been many days where I'd walk across the parking lot at work and it felt like I was walking on a boat. It felt like I was going to fall over. I thought I was going to get a full blown dizzy spell, but it never happened. Maybe tomorrow, get out of bed and get ready for work and take it one minute at a time. Remember to breathe as you get ready and maybe even get up a bit earlier so you aren't in a rush. Since it's Friday tomorrow, you'll have the following 2 days off. (assuming you don't work weekends).
I'm going to concentrate on the salt thing again this coming week. I've done well with no extra sugar or caffeine. I KNEW the salt would be a tough one. I need to be careful on reading labels. If the first ingredient is salt, then put it back on the shelf ! I need to get a recipe for a salt substitute with different spices and stuff.
Time for a mug of ice cold water ! (and 3 trips to the bathroom)
Thanks for all the Kudos I appreciate it and was feeling pretty good today knowing that I
"did it" I had been fighting that trip forever
and making lots of excuses as to why I couldn't do it. So it feels good to know I can
Jamie you hit the nail on the head for me on something. You said "I've increaced my expectations through my accomplishments, both mine and those around me" That has been one of the biggest fears of mine. Increased expectations. It's as if some will get the mindset that "well you had one success so you should be having tons more by now?" and well we know that isn't how it works all the time. There is alot I can do now but still struggle over many others so It's a process for me of peeling away those layers.But they ARE going away and they ARE not coming back so I feel
hopeful
Thanks again for the good posts guys. Thanks for sharing!
Jill~
"did it" I had been fighting that trip forever
and making lots of excuses as to why I couldn't do it. So it feels good to know I can
Jamie you hit the nail on the head for me on something. You said "I've increaced my expectations through my accomplishments, both mine and those around me" That has been one of the biggest fears of mine. Increased expectations. It's as if some will get the mindset that "well you had one success so you should be having tons more by now?" and well we know that isn't how it works all the time. There is alot I can do now but still struggle over many others so It's a process for me of peeling away those layers.But they ARE going away and they ARE not coming back so I feel
hopeful
Thanks again for the good posts guys. Thanks for sharing!
Jill~
Man 'O Music -
I generally take it day by day. The only time I know that I'm going to have trouble the next day is if I haven't slept much the night before. In that case, I'm usually already nervous and worrying before the alarm ever goes off.
The truth is that it's not my job that scares me. In fact, I love my job and really enjoy what I do. It's simply getting there and back. I have a lot of trouble with driving distances and while my job is only about eleven or twelve miles from home, it's enough to really get my anticipatory anxiety revving.
I do try to give myself enough time to wake up fully and get ready without rushing. I know that I tense up when I'm in a hurry so I've learned to slow things down when getting ready for work.
The good news is that I did make it into the office today. It was late in the day and I was there for only about an hour, but my goal for today was just to set foot in the building. So I accomplished more than I set out to do and I'm feeling more confident about getting back into the pattern of going to work every day.
Tomorrows a new day and I'm going to take advantage of every opportunity. Let's go get 'em.
Jamie
I generally take it day by day. The only time I know that I'm going to have trouble the next day is if I haven't slept much the night before. In that case, I'm usually already nervous and worrying before the alarm ever goes off.
The truth is that it's not my job that scares me. In fact, I love my job and really enjoy what I do. It's simply getting there and back. I have a lot of trouble with driving distances and while my job is only about eleven or twelve miles from home, it's enough to really get my anticipatory anxiety revving.
I do try to give myself enough time to wake up fully and get ready without rushing. I know that I tense up when I'm in a hurry so I've learned to slow things down when getting ready for work.
The good news is that I did make it into the office today. It was late in the day and I was there for only about an hour, but my goal for today was just to set foot in the building. So I accomplished more than I set out to do and I'm feeling more confident about getting back into the pattern of going to work every day.
Tomorrows a new day and I'm going to take advantage of every opportunity. Let's go get 'em.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Jill -
I know that fear well. Like you said, people think that if you've done something once then the fear is gone and you can do it again anytime at a moments notice. That's where educating your support circle comes in. We have to explain, sometimes repeatedly, that it takes many successes to retrain our brains that we can do the things we set out to accomplish. It's not a one time deal.
A more realistic expectation is that next time you make that trip, it will be a little easier, not necessarily perfect. That being said, be sure to keep your successes in the back of your mind to remind yourself that you are capable of doing the things you fear. It just takes time and practice. It's like on the back of the shampoo bottle: risk, watch, repeat!
Jamie
I know that fear well. Like you said, people think that if you've done something once then the fear is gone and you can do it again anytime at a moments notice. That's where educating your support circle comes in. We have to explain, sometimes repeatedly, that it takes many successes to retrain our brains that we can do the things we set out to accomplish. It's not a one time deal.
A more realistic expectation is that next time you make that trip, it will be a little easier, not necessarily perfect. That being said, be sure to keep your successes in the back of your mind to remind yourself that you are capable of doing the things you fear. It just takes time and practice. It's like on the back of the shampoo bottle: risk, watch, repeat!
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Jill - Good for you! I, too, know what it's like to have an "I just don't get this" spouse with me. One time, I was trying for a new exit on the freeway, I'd already done it by myself and we were going to dinner and I'd decided to take that route to the restaurant. He tried to "help" by talking 90 miles an hour, non stop conversation. God bless him for trying but I just wanted to tell him to "shut up, will ya?" I couldn't get a word of positive self talk in to myself so I just dove off the freeway at the last second. The damn exit STILL has my stymied. However, your story reminded of another phenomenom that I've encountered. Sometimes, when I don't plan the practice session and I'm out there and I just say, "ah, to heck with it" I just do it! With hardly a qualm or quiver. An exit that has stopped me for weeks is suddenly a non issue. But, when I think about it... it becomes too hard.
Jamie, you are doing GREAT. I really do admire you! Seriously, I tend to do all or nothing thinking alot and would have just thrown in the towell the many days that you keep going, no matter what.
Sometimes I wonder if I don't overthink my practice sessions too much. I think the key is just being willing to have panic and do it anyway. To say, "give it your best shot, panic" and just go forward anyway. Panic is empowered by US, by our backing down from it. It's such a bully, and I am so tired of it.
Goal for next week: excercise, no matter how crappy I feel, continue exercising and plan a driving hierarchy. I usually will do a week of two exits on the freeway that I know I can handle. Then will try to add the third. It's that third one that gets me. It's a long way till the next exit, it's in a big wide open space, and I have so many memories of panicking there. But, like I said before, if I have to get off the freeway, by God, I'll blaze a trail to do so if I have to! lol
Jamie, you are doing GREAT. I really do admire you! Seriously, I tend to do all or nothing thinking alot and would have just thrown in the towell the many days that you keep going, no matter what.
Sometimes I wonder if I don't overthink my practice sessions too much. I think the key is just being willing to have panic and do it anyway. To say, "give it your best shot, panic" and just go forward anyway. Panic is empowered by US, by our backing down from it. It's such a bully, and I am so tired of it.
Goal for next week: excercise, no matter how crappy I feel, continue exercising and plan a driving hierarchy. I usually will do a week of two exits on the freeway that I know I can handle. Then will try to add the third. It's that third one that gets me. It's a long way till the next exit, it's in a big wide open space, and I have so many memories of panicking there. But, like I said before, if I have to get off the freeway, by God, I'll blaze a trail to do so if I have to! lol
Focus on what you want, not what you fear...
HotRod -
I've had similar experiences with more success when I do things at the spur of the moment. I think the reason is that there is no time for anticipatory anxiety. We so often defeat ourselves before we've even started.
I also have a situation like yours with the freeway. There's a long distance between my work and the exit prior. One of the things I've done to help get me through my fears is to get comfortable using the side streets in that area. That way I know that if I get panicky I can get off the freeway and return via side street. It gives me comfort knowing there are other options. BTW, I love you're "blaze a trail" remark. I've imagined that one countless times. Too bad I don't drive a 4x4!
Thanks again for your encouragement. The same goes for you and everyone else posting here. We're all doing great. We're all setting goals and following through. We have to keep reminding ourselves that we are strong people and can get things done. We just have to trust ourselves that everything will be alright no matter how scared we might feel.
Keep up the great work and blaze some trails!
Jamie
I've had similar experiences with more success when I do things at the spur of the moment. I think the reason is that there is no time for anticipatory anxiety. We so often defeat ourselves before we've even started.
I also have a situation like yours with the freeway. There's a long distance between my work and the exit prior. One of the things I've done to help get me through my fears is to get comfortable using the side streets in that area. That way I know that if I get panicky I can get off the freeway and return via side street. It gives me comfort knowing there are other options. BTW, I love you're "blaze a trail" remark. I've imagined that one countless times. Too bad I don't drive a 4x4!
Thanks again for your encouragement. The same goes for you and everyone else posting here. We're all doing great. We're all setting goals and following through. We have to keep reminding ourselves that we are strong people and can get things done. We just have to trust ourselves that everything will be alright no matter how scared we might feel.
Keep up the great work and blaze some trails!
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
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forever young 06
- Posts: 284
- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm
I love these post we are all in this together and we understand what we all are going thru.
as I was driving home yesterday I thought it is strange how you can drive 10 miles one direction but can't drive 10 another.you can't understand this crap but it is what we are telling our self.
had a fight with hubby this morning, so bad start to the weekend first thing I think is oh now can't practice he is my safe person and I want to stay mad too in fact some times wish I could leave. I need to be my own safe person got a lot to work on thing is no where to give up been like this too many yrs going in side and staying there is not an obtions cheers to a good weekend
as I was driving home yesterday I thought it is strange how you can drive 10 miles one direction but can't drive 10 another.you can't understand this crap but it is what we are telling our self.
had a fight with hubby this morning, so bad start to the weekend first thing I think is oh now can't practice he is my safe person and I want to stay mad too in fact some times wish I could leave. I need to be my own safe person got a lot to work on thing is no where to give up been like this too many yrs going in side and staying there is not an obtions cheers to a good weekend