General "Complaint"

RMENURSE8 · Post by **RMENURSE8** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:11 am

I like to state my thoughts to get the person to think back to what is being taught in the program. Sometimes what is being asked gets responses that have nothing to do with the person asking but everything to do with the person stating the response and becomes boring and irrelavent to the community. Moreover, the person asking often times really needs some redirecting, tough love and some of what I see is pitty, enabeling and cuddling. That all has its place but there are situations when if the person asking would just listen and refer back to the program, their issues would clearly be resolved. Resollution results in less anxiety, greater personal growth and an end to the misery the person is expressing.

That said, you feeling "black balled" is exactly that, your feelings! Are your expectations that people will (must) respond to you (that is a question to ask yourself, is this an expectation issue for me?). If they do or if they don't your stating we, as a group, have singled you out and won't answer your concerns. That is what black balled means to me. Is that negetive thinking or positive thinking?

Hey, what happens if i now get black balled or a post saying i am "hearless" for being honest? - nothing - Relax, no one is black balling anyone here!. (well, maybe me now hehe).

RB

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:13 am

Hi fischee. I have found both your posts and your replies to be very informative, always interesting, and you are such a kind hearted person. You have replied to me, always with something that is helpful to me. I will share with you that I signed on and only began participation in this online peer support because we were supposed to, as part of the program. I sometimes reply and then decide that my reply is 100 percent not helpful to the poor person needing help

And sometimes I actually delete my reply because I think

my response is so not helpful, maybe it is harmful! But those are part of my personality trait bugaboos. I am soooooooooooooooo sensitive. When I was a child, my parents told relatives they wondered where I came from. I was a perfectionist, hypersensitive, constantly worried little kid, and they joked that they got the wrong baby. They were not like that, so maybe it skipped a generation and I got my nuttiness from a grandparent

. What I want to say, I always enjoy your posts, I just worry that I don't have anything really useful to offer. In the future I will reply anyway. Kind regards, Pecos.

BePositive-Amy · Post by **BePositive-Amy** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:16 am

Your not alone. I had the same problem that's why i do not post topic that much anymore

fischee · Post by **fischee** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:56 am

WOW! Of all the irrelevent posts, I never expected to get this kind of response.

Evidently, I'm not the only one to feel this way... I don't really know what to say, except I'm glad to know that I've not been blackballed (there is a way to delibertly ignore a specific person's posts, so I don't think I'm being entirely paranoid).

Thank-you for the suggestions about "pming" and another anxiety blog. Pecos, I look forward to reading your posts, too <span class="ev_code_PINK">;*)</span>! And, yes, I've also read several posts that I know nothing about/cannot relate to and elect not to respond.

I appreciate everyone's reply in helping me (and others[?]) put this in perspective.
Blessings to all!
fischee

fischee · Post by **fischee** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:16 am

Here's something else I just considered. Since a large portion of this board is open to everone, it's likely some drop in with questions and never return for a response.

While more people are likely to see your question on an "open" forum, a person might get more response by posting in "members only."
fischee

Music Fan · Post by **Music Fan** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:22 pm

Hi, I think when someone starts a thread here it is in an effort to reach out to others. To connect. Sometimes to ask for help but sometimes just to share. And when there is no reply back from others it feels like you're out there all alone and may even regret posting the thread in the first place. And I think that a lot of people here are very sensitive people and it can hurt their feelings to feel "snubbed". So sometimes when I see that no one has replied, I post just to get the ball rolling. That's not only on this board but on other general interest boards that I frequent. But I have to say that sometimes I read a thread and I'm just too busy to post a reply and I move on. Or I have nothing relevant to contribute. But I understand the feeling of being snubbed. Isn't it exciting when you start a thread, leave for a day and come back and there are a ton of interesting replies! It's fun and it makes you feel like you've connected. On the flip side, when no one replies, it makes me feel isolated.

Hope everyone is having a good day!

fischee · Post by **fischee** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:55 pm

Thanks for your response Music Fan! You expressed this perfectly.
Hope your day went well, too.

luvlife · Post by **luvlife** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:53 pm

Fischee ~ I have felt "blackballed" so many times I feel like I should be in a bowling alley. Seriously, I know I am a very sensitive person and if I receive no responses or replys, I do feel sometimes like no one cares and my opinions or questions are not worth an answer.
Let's face it, when we post something - at the time, it is the most important thing on our warped little minds and we really need some help or we wouldn't be posting in the first place.
Hope no one is offended with my personal opinion ~ I certainly don't intend for it to be that way.
Blessings, Judy

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:21 pm

Honestly, I am just happy to post on here. I don't have any expectations about my posts. .I am just SO grateful when someone replies. If noone replies,oh. . but many times people HAVE replied and the replies are so fantastic and better than i thought. SO maybe lets have no expectations with our posts i guess. . Though i do understand when youre writing something it is SO important to us. . But lets just be grateful people Do reply most of the time. THANK YOU everyone who replies to my posts. You guys have no idea how much it means . . . sometimes when i have a problem Fischee, I go to the chat room and my questions are answered right away. Chat room is a good place to go for support!!