getting out the 1st time

fixme · Post by **fixme** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:08 pm

Terrific, slow steady steps. Youre getting there!
Today I went to a gathering of local photographers, of which I am one, and just hung out, ate bbq, etc. I took my pills before going and just forced myself to go. Kept telling myself, "feel the fear, but go anyway". I went and I did fine. Wasnt teh most talkative one there, but i felt ok with myself and everyone was so nice.
Small steps....

Nanaof4 · Post by **Nanaof4** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 2:43 am

Hey good for you! I have a routine now of positive thoughts. 1st I tell myself its just anxiety, then I tell myself its ok. Then I tell it to melt away, that I am in control. Then I say " I am strong, I am my safe place, I am home". I never thought for all those years to not fight it, to just feel it and then let it go. I am going for another ride today. I have almost completely stopped projecting the fear. If I start to do it I replace it with a positive image of myself going and being relaxed and happy. We can do this!
Nana

fixme · Post by **fixme** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:07 am

sounds like youre really working on it! Enjoy your day and let us know how it goes.

Nanaof4 · Post by **Nanaof4** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 2:21 pm

Hello everyone

How are you guys doing?
I had a nice day today. I went for a ride and stopped at a produce market and shopped! I felt sooo normal. I went for a walk this evening but didnt go far. Feeling tired today. I have been really moving and I was used to depression. I laid in bed a lot. I am going in baby steps but am so happy. On to session 4 tomorrow.
Nana

Nanaof4 · Post by **Nanaof4** » Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:59 am

Hello again,
Yesterday had its ups and downs. In the morning I went to the hardware store. It went well(still with hubby though)and I was happy when I got home. I have been tired and I now have a sinus thing going on. In the evening I went out again and had a rough time. I was to tired and should not have gone. I still patted myself on the back for trying and I knew there would be set backs so Im ok.

Shifrah · Post by **Shifrah** » Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:29 am

Good, don't shoot yourself in the foot while you're walking. Look at the difference between your first few posts and now. It's incredible. You have come so far.

Thanks for allowing us to be a part of your journey!

Tofte · Post by **Tofte** » Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:28 am

From a fellow sinus sufferer, that alone can make you extremely tired. It might be a good idea to focus now on taking care of that problem. Pat yourself on the back, take a little break, listen to your tapes and work on your physical health. I have learned to not push myself too hard when my sinus' are acting up.

Nanaof4 · Post by **Nanaof4** » Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:59 pm

Hello all,
I am feeling a lot better tonight. Have not been out since the day before yesterday. I think I will be up for a trip out tomorrow. Been working on session 4. Its not that easy, I have to be really honest with myself. One thing that I do know for sure now is that hormones to have an effect on anxiety. Most of it is in our heads but there are physcal effects from hormones. Now that I am writing things down I notice that I get my family fears(I worry that they will die, even getting mental images of it) right before that time of the month. Today I worked on changing those images and thoughts. Its not that easy. Now of course the grandbabies are in the mix its even harder. When My kids were younger I had a very hard time even letting them go to school. My days were filled with nightmare visions of bus crashes and child molesters. This is going to be tough.
Nana

Tofte · Post by **Tofte** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:44 am

No, it is not easy, simple but not easy. You are doing so well, don't expect it to be gone over night, you are breaking old, well worn habits and that takes time. Keep up the good work, we are rooting for you.

Nanaof4 · Post by **Nanaof4** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:36 am

Thanks for the supportive words.

I made it to town today! It is 20 miles each way and it is very congested. My husband drove while I did relaxation. Once I got over some small panic attacks I did great. At one point on the way home I completely relaxed and had no anxiety at all.

Yippee!