I can't believe it has been a month since posting a message. Unfortunately, it has been a pretty rocky month, starting with an extremely difficult Christmas and ending with a failed attempt at what would have been an amazing relationship. The holidays were even harder than I thought it was going be. Most of Christmas morning I was in tears and felt at my worst. I was barely able to handle it and it got better afterwards. I am feeling a little more optimistic now and trying to look at things one days at a time and not beat myself up for what has, or has not, happened in the past.
Thank you for your suggestions on the movie and book. Unfortunately I had forgotten the titles and did not have access to the site during the holidays, so I pretty much commiserated in isolation without the resources that could have helped me. I didn't even start the program despite having some time to do it. Now that my girls are back to school I have more time and no excuses, but still can't seem to get going. I have felt pathetic for my lack of effort and motivation. I think I will read your past messages to remind myself of what I need to do, and how I felt when I finally opened the package. Thanks again for all your support.
I'm afraid to even start!
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Susan Gilbert
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:34 pm
mark167,
It is strange but I was wondering how you were doing this past week.
See you survived the holidays! I hope you complimented yourself for getting through it all. It is ok if things don't go as you plan. And taking each day as it comes is a great start. Remember to focus on the good things that you do each day. I can see a difference in your comments. It is taking you a while but you are making progress!
If you could at least start using the Relaxation CD, it might help. Or Chapter 3 is on Negative and Positive Thinking. Try to just listen to that CD. Another possibility is just watch the first DVD with Lucinda. She can give you the confidence that you need to get started on the program.
Write down one thing that you want to accomplish by a date, say Friday with the program. Then read that at least once, three times is best, each day. Then see where you have gotten on Friday.(It's ok if you don't reach that goal but you want to be working toward it)Dates can be changed. See if that helps.
The book is "What Do You Say When You Talk To Your Self" by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. ($7.99) and the movie is "The Secret".
You are on the right path. Look forward, not back. You can do this mark167! I look forward to hearing from you. If you encouragement during the week, let me know.
It is strange but I was wondering how you were doing this past week.
See you survived the holidays! I hope you complimented yourself for getting through it all. It is ok if things don't go as you plan. And taking each day as it comes is a great start. Remember to focus on the good things that you do each day. I can see a difference in your comments. It is taking you a while but you are making progress!
If you could at least start using the Relaxation CD, it might help. Or Chapter 3 is on Negative and Positive Thinking. Try to just listen to that CD. Another possibility is just watch the first DVD with Lucinda. She can give you the confidence that you need to get started on the program.
Write down one thing that you want to accomplish by a date, say Friday with the program. Then read that at least once, three times is best, each day. Then see where you have gotten on Friday.(It's ok if you don't reach that goal but you want to be working toward it)Dates can be changed. See if that helps.
The book is "What Do You Say When You Talk To Your Self" by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. ($7.99) and the movie is "The Secret".
You are on the right path. Look forward, not back. You can do this mark167! I look forward to hearing from you. If you encouragement during the week, let me know.
Susan
Before I even got to rent 'The Secret', it was on tv today. I assume it is the one with Duchovny and about mother/daughter transference? It was very good, but after making me cry for about 15 minutes, I was wondering what the connection was to depression and this forum. Towards the end someone said 'You should find what makes you happy and go get it'. Good movie with an interesting look at parent/child relationships and what we could easily miss or forget.
By the way, what happened to all the 'afraid to start'ers that were on this forum 2-3 months ago? I guess they all started and moved on up elsewhere? Are there not now any beginners out there who are afraid to start? I think this a great way to get support and encouragement on a regular basis from some wise and experienced people. Thanks again for everything so far. It is still just the beginning of a long journey to recovery.
By the way, what happened to all the 'afraid to start'ers that were on this forum 2-3 months ago? I guess they all started and moved on up elsewhere? Are there not now any beginners out there who are afraid to start? I think this a great way to get support and encouragement on a regular basis from some wise and experienced people. Thanks again for everything so far. It is still just the beginning of a long journey to recovery.
"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no one. Yesterday's history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." --- "Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way.”
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Susan Gilbert
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:34 pm
mark167,
Sorry, but the movie THE SECRET is not the one you saw. The book was written by Rhonda Byrnes. There is a website, The Secret and it tells all about the laws that draw positive and negative things into our lives and how to create in our lives what we want. I never saw the movie with Duchovny. Change happens one step at a time. Good Luck.
Sorry, but the movie THE SECRET is not the one you saw. The book was written by Rhonda Byrnes. There is a website, The Secret and it tells all about the laws that draw positive and negative things into our lives and how to create in our lives what we want. I never saw the movie with Duchovny. Change happens one step at a time. Good Luck.
Susan
Mark 167,
I'm someone who posted months ago! I'm still here on this page too. I was on a roll when I posted in August. I was exercising, journaling, doing the program, eating good... I said I was. I made it through week 1 when I bought the program 10+ years ago. I made it through week 3 this time (Aug/Sept 09). They say three weeks is enough to form or break a habit, but it wasn't quite enough for me. In two days I have an appointment with a counselor who I have asked to help keep me on track. I want to make the changes, but struggle sticking with anything, and like others who've posted, give up easy. I wonder if you are still reading this page, or if you have now advanced in your journey. Don't give up. Your posts brought tears to my eyes. Your girls will be so proud of you for every small step you take. When you think you can't take a step, think about how much you would want them to if they were in your shoes. Be well, Amy
I'm someone who posted months ago! I'm still here on this page too. I was on a roll when I posted in August. I was exercising, journaling, doing the program, eating good... I said I was. I made it through week 1 when I bought the program 10+ years ago. I made it through week 3 this time (Aug/Sept 09). They say three weeks is enough to form or break a habit, but it wasn't quite enough for me. In two days I have an appointment with a counselor who I have asked to help keep me on track. I want to make the changes, but struggle sticking with anything, and like others who've posted, give up easy. I wonder if you are still reading this page, or if you have now advanced in your journey. Don't give up. Your posts brought tears to my eyes. Your girls will be so proud of you for every small step you take. When you think you can't take a step, think about how much you would want them to if they were in your shoes. Be well, Amy
Thank you Amy and Susan, as always, for your replies. I still come to this forum regularly, even if I don't post, to get some inspiration and hope. I have not advanced at all and my lack of taking action has bothered me a lot. After reading your post Amy, I have since gone back over all the posts of the last 4 months and reread them all a few times. I recall having read your 1st post just before I first posted, as I also had ordered the program in tears. Looking back at how I have felt over the last 4 months, and at all the support I have received from this forum, did bring tears back to my eyes each time I reread the posts. That is why I did not respond until now.
I feel that I am slipping back again and the self doubt is getting very strong. I remember what Susan said - that I can get better, but I have to decide if I want to. I know I need to get better but don't feel I have the strength, motivation or resiliency to keep at it. I know I have dealt with depression for a long time and can only expect that it will take a lot of time to overcome it. It seems so obvious and simple, yet it is so difficult to do, and the longer it goes on like this, the less empowered and more useless and pathetic I feel.
I have been through a pretty rocky month, as if the past 20 months wasn't enough. It started with that failed attempt at a potentially amazing relationship, which was quickly followed by someone else with whom I thought there was potential. This one just ended up being a crazy, nasty, unbelievable situation, so I was relieved when it came to an end. Then someone, with whom I became close 4 months ago, very unexpectedly came back into my life 2 weeks ago. It was nice but confusing as I still don't know where she stands with me, and having Valentine's alone was hard.
Needless to say, I have learned some valuable, albeit difficult, lessons over the last month. As much as I would be happy to be with someone, as being alone can get depressing, I realize I need to find my own happiness and inner peace to move on in life. It has been so long since I have been happy I don't even know how to find it on my own. I need to get over this obstacle of procrastination, inertia and self doubt, and give the program an honest try before I throw in the towel in surrender to this seemingly invincible depression. Why is it so hard to take that 1st step towards getting better when I know the alternative is really bad?
I feel that I am slipping back again and the self doubt is getting very strong. I remember what Susan said - that I can get better, but I have to decide if I want to. I know I need to get better but don't feel I have the strength, motivation or resiliency to keep at it. I know I have dealt with depression for a long time and can only expect that it will take a lot of time to overcome it. It seems so obvious and simple, yet it is so difficult to do, and the longer it goes on like this, the less empowered and more useless and pathetic I feel.
I have been through a pretty rocky month, as if the past 20 months wasn't enough. It started with that failed attempt at a potentially amazing relationship, which was quickly followed by someone else with whom I thought there was potential. This one just ended up being a crazy, nasty, unbelievable situation, so I was relieved when it came to an end. Then someone, with whom I became close 4 months ago, very unexpectedly came back into my life 2 weeks ago. It was nice but confusing as I still don't know where she stands with me, and having Valentine's alone was hard.
Needless to say, I have learned some valuable, albeit difficult, lessons over the last month. As much as I would be happy to be with someone, as being alone can get depressing, I realize I need to find my own happiness and inner peace to move on in life. It has been so long since I have been happy I don't even know how to find it on my own. I need to get over this obstacle of procrastination, inertia and self doubt, and give the program an honest try before I throw in the towel in surrender to this seemingly invincible depression. Why is it so hard to take that 1st step towards getting better when I know the alternative is really bad?
"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no one. Yesterday's history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." --- "Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way.”
Yes Amy, I am still here, but really wondering now if I can do it. It has been a rough 2+ weeks since I last posted. Other than been hooked on the Olympics, I really didn't get into anything else. There was even a little post-games letdown. I didn't let my inaction get to me and was ready to get going with this program on the 22nd. I had listened to the relaxation cd a few times and felt inspired to start, even tho it made me cry a couple times, at the beginning ('I am calm, I am peaceful, I am relaxed') and end ('feeling peaceful & content; life is good'). I think that bothered me because it has been a very long time since I was at peace and life was good. Anyways, the rest of that week, 1 or both of my daughters were home sick (very draining), and last week they were home on March break, so I really didn't get anything done. By this past weekend, I was pretty empty emotionally and physically.
I have also been worrying about a lot of things (finances, finding work, the kids, relationships) and this has resulted in very bad sleeps. I have had 3 or 4 decent sleeps in the last 18 days. The woman who unexpectedly came back into my life early Feb has once again drifted away. I tried not to get emotionally attached as I didn't want to be hurt again, but it does hurt as we could have had an amazing relationship (she is very driven and supportive). Despite feeling lonely, I am not going to look for anyone/thing for some time as I need to focus on myself and finding my own happiness.
I realize nothing will change unless I work at it and make a commitment to starting and continuing this program. I guess once it gets going, it will become a habit or part of my daily routine. As you stated Amy, I have heard that doing something for 3 weeks makes it become a habit, but it is the following 3 months that will determine if it will be a successful/permanent habit. You mentioned you were going to obtain the help of a counselor. Is that someone from StressCenter.com and how is it going? One thing that has become part of my daily routine is I receive daily/weekly emails from 3 sources that provide some very inspirational and encouraging messages. The latest one is The Secret scrolls. I guess you know of that one Susan? The last one received talked about believing, in yourself and your ability to change. I am still trying to get my hands on the book and dvd. I think the lack of belief in myself and any possibility to change is really keeping me stuck.
So with every part of my life coming apart at the seams, everything has really gotten to me lately. The past 4 days I have cried about as much as I have since last August, when I thought I was at the end. I have had some stupid and scary thoughts that don't seem to bother me as much as they used to. I feel like I have given up and why bothering trying. I came home Sat night driving in tears. I sat in my car for a half hour crying before I went in the house. I thought to myself, what do I have to do or have happen to me in order to push myself to changing things around? If my back up against the wall is not enough, do I need to be standing on the edge looking at the end to scare me enough to do something? I'm sick of feeling like this all the time. Sorry, can't type anymore.
I have also been worrying about a lot of things (finances, finding work, the kids, relationships) and this has resulted in very bad sleeps. I have had 3 or 4 decent sleeps in the last 18 days. The woman who unexpectedly came back into my life early Feb has once again drifted away. I tried not to get emotionally attached as I didn't want to be hurt again, but it does hurt as we could have had an amazing relationship (she is very driven and supportive). Despite feeling lonely, I am not going to look for anyone/thing for some time as I need to focus on myself and finding my own happiness.
I realize nothing will change unless I work at it and make a commitment to starting and continuing this program. I guess once it gets going, it will become a habit or part of my daily routine. As you stated Amy, I have heard that doing something for 3 weeks makes it become a habit, but it is the following 3 months that will determine if it will be a successful/permanent habit. You mentioned you were going to obtain the help of a counselor. Is that someone from StressCenter.com and how is it going? One thing that has become part of my daily routine is I receive daily/weekly emails from 3 sources that provide some very inspirational and encouraging messages. The latest one is The Secret scrolls. I guess you know of that one Susan? The last one received talked about believing, in yourself and your ability to change. I am still trying to get my hands on the book and dvd. I think the lack of belief in myself and any possibility to change is really keeping me stuck.
So with every part of my life coming apart at the seams, everything has really gotten to me lately. The past 4 days I have cried about as much as I have since last August, when I thought I was at the end. I have had some stupid and scary thoughts that don't seem to bother me as much as they used to. I feel like I have given up and why bothering trying. I came home Sat night driving in tears. I sat in my car for a half hour crying before I went in the house. I thought to myself, what do I have to do or have happen to me in order to push myself to changing things around? If my back up against the wall is not enough, do I need to be standing on the edge looking at the end to scare me enough to do something? I'm sick of feeling like this all the time. Sorry, can't type anymore.
"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no one. Yesterday's history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." --- "Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way.”
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Susan Gilbert
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:34 pm
mark167,
You have made progress. You understand what you need to do. Crying can be the next step. The first time I listened to the first CD of Lucinda' Prog., I cried. I think I was scared and excited that there might be something out there that could help me move forward with my life.
Yes, you need to believe in yourself and your ability to change. Remember, little steps make big steps. Keep looking forward. You are doing it, even if it is in little steps. The best way to think more positive thoughts is to get rid of the negative. I might have mentioned this before. The book, 'What To Say When You Talk To Your Self' by Shad Helmstetter (7.99) helps you do that. I found repeating page 169, 2 or 3 times a day on self-esteem was very helpful in making changes in my life.
Have you looked at your diet? or increased your B12 intake? Those are things that can help sometimes. Natural healers believe that depression is related to the liver and the colon. Take a look at your digestion. Probiotics and food enzymes are very helpful for digestion problems.
Remember, this will pass. You will get through this. So glad you are getting those emails for inspiration. This might help -Write down: My goal is to believe in myself and my ability to change and see change by the end of the month. Post this on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator. You are not alone.
You have made progress. You understand what you need to do. Crying can be the next step. The first time I listened to the first CD of Lucinda' Prog., I cried. I think I was scared and excited that there might be something out there that could help me move forward with my life.
Yes, you need to believe in yourself and your ability to change. Remember, little steps make big steps. Keep looking forward. You are doing it, even if it is in little steps. The best way to think more positive thoughts is to get rid of the negative. I might have mentioned this before. The book, 'What To Say When You Talk To Your Self' by Shad Helmstetter (7.99) helps you do that. I found repeating page 169, 2 or 3 times a day on self-esteem was very helpful in making changes in my life.
Have you looked at your diet? or increased your B12 intake? Those are things that can help sometimes. Natural healers believe that depression is related to the liver and the colon. Take a look at your digestion. Probiotics and food enzymes are very helpful for digestion problems.
Remember, this will pass. You will get through this. So glad you are getting those emails for inspiration. This might help -Write down: My goal is to believe in myself and my ability to change and see change by the end of the month. Post this on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator. You are not alone.
Susan