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K&ML · Post by **K&ML** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:13 am

just got program last saturday. primarily got for husband but found, in looking over it, found many traits relating to myself. i would like him to be on this but it's a bit difficult to get him going. he's listening and watching tapes and doing exercises with me but not really into it. as for me, well, not as bad as he is. he's seen the md, psychiatrist, taken the meds, none of which work fully or have such awful side effects (headaches which are not acceptable and sexual side effects) that he's off all meds because that's what the psychiatrist told him but now, after a week, you can tell and he's back to his old complaining, hostility. he's not worked a 40 hour week most of the year and he's worried about that. i know this is supposed to be about self but i got program for him.

any suggestions on motivating him to participate more fully?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 9:10 am

Hey K&ML.

You can only do what you can for him, I think. You can't force feed him this or make him participate. The program doesn't seem like it would work well with forced participation. He has to approach it openly and honestly.

But there is a great saying "You can't argue with success." So, if you continue on in the program (which you should!) and it works for you, and you both see the results, then maybe that will serve as all the motivation he needs?

He just has to get to that place where he knows it's time for him to invest in it. I would keep encouraging him, but with the understanding that it is his choice....

Best of luck to you and your husband.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 1:12 pm

THIS is m from k&ml its suprising to find that your spouse has similar problems as you do i wonder if weve kind of picked up each others traits over the last 20 yrs.Im just more aggressive than she is. she just bottles it up. where as i act out. some days i need to tape my mouth shut for fear of saying the wrong thing and making her cry. thats the tough thing i deal with when im not medicated but then who wants to go through life with a drug hang over which is what i call it. ill try to pay attention but being skeptical is part of the affliction so to speak.