Family is coming, feeling anxious

FAYZZZ1 · Post by **FAYZZZ1** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:19 am

Received my program 2 days ago & have been feeling very anxious, especially today just before my family arrives for the weekend. I was alone for Thksg which was more than fine for me. Now that family is on the way, my heart is racing and wondering how things will go and if my adult children can be civil with one another after a fight a couple of months ago. This is the first time we've gotten together since their conflict.

Any suggestions for getting through the weekend?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:41 am

Breathe!

I know how you feel as I was perfectly fine with a quiet Thanksgiving too. Family can be difficult. If possible, take time out when you can. Step outside (if not too cold!) or step into the bedroom and take a few minutes for yourself. Try to enjoy them and not imagine the worse but the best! Take care.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:26 am

I understand as well, my family can also be difficult. As I look at them, I can see, now, that a lot of the difficulties has to do with anxiety, perfectionism, unrealistic expectations. Someone recently reminded me that very few sisters and brothers get along all the time so why should my particular family be different. My answer (inside my head) was, "because I wanted to be the mother of the year and have perfectly happy loving children who would always enjoy each other and be prefectly at peace with each other" Not gonna happen! But, that said, prayer, realistic expectations and taking that deep breath Ms. Hopeful talked about can make a huge difference.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:02 am

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I had already done everything I could think of to distract myself from my thoughts. It's great to know there's somewhere and someone to put these thoughts to for the time being.
Today, after spending time yesterday with everyone amazingly they all got along and we had fun together. I feel more at ease. I realized that my biggest fear is that my children would abandon each other as my brothers abandoned me in lieu of taking care of our chronically ill mother and alcoholic father.
But then I realized "I am the mother I always needed as a child" and I have given my children the love and nurturing that I never received as a child. This won't happen to me unless I cling too much and become helpless and that's just not something I'm willing to pass on to either of them. Thanks Ms. Hopeful and poet BTG for your thoughts.