Struggling w/a BreakUp & doing the program at the same time

[AllSouledOut2011]

I am so confused I am desparately trying to start the program correctly and I really need for someone to let me know if I am doing it right? I have listened to a session CD per day (started Feb 22 2011-I dont work right now so I have lots of me time) and I am currently on Session 3...I have chosen to post this in the session one forum because I am wondering if I have the instructions on how to start the program correctly wrong?

Am I supposed to be doing a session per week instead of per day? I am doing the workbook exercises and listening to the audio as well. The only thing I am struggling with is the motivation to begin an exercise program. I am currently in a very DEEP depression. I suffer from Bipolar II as well so I know this program will help and I am currently not on any meds due to no health insurance.

However, I am also madly in love with a Toxic Narcissist that has recently left me for good this week after 3 solid years. He left me on Wednesday Feb 23 2011. I have been crying for 2days straight and have had anxiety through the roof. I was told by my doctor that I already have a mild cause for concern with an on average elevated heart rate of 75-95. At my very latest visit to the MD in early Feb my heart rate was a 100 and before that in late Jan 23 2011= 95. Prior to this being brought to my attn in the summer of 2010 I was taken to the ER on my bday in July 2010 for a severe panic attack and then again in Sept for another one both brought by ambulance due to stress. At that visit I had three abnormal EKG's back to back each hospital visit.


Ever since those visits my heart rate has been well over 90 on average.I monitor it before I get out of bed every morning. After my hospital visits I was then reffered to a cardiologist back in August who gave me a stress test and verified that I am ok no cause for concern. I showed no signs of heart health issues. I just need to drastically minimize my stress. I do not have high blood pressure nor do I have high cholestorol just the high stress. I caretake for my father who is legally blind, a heart patient, and also an insulin diabetic patient. So I have lots on my plate. But my days are constricted with so much anxiety I havent wanted to leave my house in weeks now. And my break up is paralyzing me to date. So I am sticking to the program exercises faithfully to aviod any further panic attacks and heightend fear cause by my intense anxiety.


Can anyone out there tell me if I am supposed to be doing a session a week as opposed to a session a day? Also does anyone have any tips or advice on how to calm the overwhelming panic that comes with love addiction and break up? I am alone alot and do not have a great support system right now with my family and friends busy schedules due to the ecomony.


I am really sinking right now...feeling really low...I am trying to write down my negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones, listening to the relaxation cd, and journaling but I must say....it is really a task because I feel so paralyzed.....Please anyone with anything that will help would be greatly appreciated...

Thanks,
Christina

[Snootyboots]

Dear Christina,

I will send the original reply to your email tomorrow, as I saved the draft an cannot figure out how to send it to you. However, there is a free 24/7 mental health cisis line in northwest Ohio. Call them for support anytime at
1-800-472-9411 . I have to go to bed and will call Customer Service to get information on getting my reply to your email to you asap! .

I will be praying for you, your new friend, Cheryl (Snootyboots).

[tommy_riley]

Hi Christina,
I think the way you are supposed to work the program is do a session a week (re-listening to each CD a few times and going over the workbook and then also doing the relaxation techniques a few times a week). I have not been able to bring myself to listen to each CD more than once however, but still feel like I am getting what I need out of them (so far only completed session #1 and #2 - session #1 seemed more like an informational/intro piece to me and I could not think about how I could get anything more out of it listening to it a 2nd time).

As for the breakup, I think I mentioned some things in a nother thread recently, but you need to take care of yourself now and I found this website that helped me to get over a breakup with a gal I had fallen in love with. She was bi-polar and left me (twice)...anyway here is the link http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up

This link was the first step for me on really trying to get over the breakup - I went into a deep deep depression, and was suffering (and still am) anxiety problems as well that had started well before the relationship had.

Anyway, it was rough for several weeks after the initial breakup, and I did need to follow up with the ex-g/f to get some closure (tell her why I was upset that she broke up with me and tell her how I thought about her even though she dumped me and had her own issues that would make us completely uncompatable). I still think about her, but it's a lot easier now and I don't try and reach out to her anymore as I know that will just keep re-setting my grief and I will never get over it.

If you do try and find another relationship I would just say give it a little time and do your best not to try and replace your last b/f with a current one that "fits the profile" of your previous BF - you don't want a replacement or rebound BF, that isn't fair to the other person and not fair to yourself.

Break-ups suck, but as my therapist wisely told me recently - emotions are just things we pull out of thin air - they have no context or value when it comes to things like heartbreak. The quicker you realize it's all just in your head and that you are a great person that guys would really enjoy to be with, then you will start feeling better - I promise.

Positive self-talk really works - it may not be easy, and I am no expert and have miles to go myself, but I can honestly say that my depression has significently lessened in the last six-eight weeks and I don't think it would not have if I hadn't practices self-talk and done a few of the suggestions given in the link I gave above.

best of luck!
-tommy