Am I the only one?

SimplyKarah · Post by **SimplyKarah** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 4:12 pm

Hi. I'm new to this group. I started the program a little over a week ago. I've noticed a lot of people are afraid this isn't going to work for them. I feel that too but am I the only one who actually has a fear that it might work? I have been having anxiety about the fact that things will change and I don't know how to be different. It's been so long and things have just been getting worse and worse. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am worried that if and when I do feel better, I'll be forced into doing things that stress me out and suddenly be responsible for so much that I can't deal with. I feel guilty even saying that.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 4:37 pm

No I have the same feeling the fear of that is so strong it has held me back. Now I am starting anew with a better perspective. Reading Lucinda's book, From Panic to Power is helping me a great deal as I am back in the program. I stopped before at session 6 good excuses so familiar with the old, the new life to come just seemed too scary for me. It is only human to feel this way. It is best to be totally honest with yourself while working through the program. I was not before, and it got me nowhere real fast. Now I feel more confident and peaceful that I can overcome this in time. I know it is not easy, but suffering with it is worse. I also can set my own goals and desires. Don't feel you will be restricted in life. I have felt what you have, but I never posted it before.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:04 am

I agree with you both, this can be a bit spooky. I think it is because our old habbits, (self destructive ones that is) are hard to break. I am going through this program for the second time now, and am much more confident than I was the last time. Still it has been alot of hard work. My biggest problem has been catching myself in these old thought patterns. UGH! I have been swept up in those old patterns for some time before I catch myself. I am trying to be patient and kind to myself, if it takes several more times through the program so be it. I am planning on just putting one foot infront of the other. I am also working hard on thinking in the hear and now, if I think too far in advance I wind up self sabatoging. Just a thought, good luck to the both of you. Happier days are ahead. JC

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 4:24 pm

No you aren't the only one. You just have enough insight into yourself that you realize it. I still feel that way too. If i become more capable will i end up overwhelming myself and becoming more stressed out. The thing is, is that we cannot really imagine how it will feel when we recover and so we imagine ourselves having to face even more stressful situations with the same level of stress we are under right now. The program makes it easier for us to face situations and so the level of stress we feel from them will become lower. Keep that in mind. If thats not helpful enough, ask someone who seems to have their life together about some situations that you might find extremely overwhelmingly stressful and see if they feel overwhelmed about it.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:53 pm

Thank you, guys. It really does help to know other people feel the same way. Today was so emotionally exhausting. I truly feel like this program is going to help me but I just am so tired from working at it. I explained it to my husband today as the emotional equivalent of getting your leg caught in a bear trap and the only way to get out is to cut your own leg off. I know that sounds melodramatic but honestly, it feels like that. I have to hurt myself emotionally to save myself. It's so terrifying in the moment to stop and make myself face it. I just want to run. But, as scary as it is, I just have to do it. My kids and husband need me and I can't be there for them if I'm like this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue May 11, 2010 2:35 pm

Yeah, I hear ya.

I notice that pattern in college students I work with. So MANY of them resist doing the things they KNOW they should because they don't want to take personal responsibility of their situations, even of their happiness because they don't think they'll be able to handle the responsibility.

What I've found is that we already have that responsibility. It's no one else's job to make our lives awesome except our own. And the more skills we gain for managing our life, the better our life is by far!
But it's not like going through this program magically hands us a different life. It can give us skills to acquire a new life for ourselves, and then we make each decision that leads us to a new way of being. So there will be more options opening up to you, but a new life won't land in your lap. You'll get to take it one step at a time!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:41 am

I have this fear to. I've been depressed and anxious for most of my life and had my first panic attack 10 years ago. I really believe that change can be scary for people like us even if that change is for the better. It's like a secondary gain. We cling to our current predicament (no matter how crappy it is) because its familiar. A change means stepping out of our comfort zone (such as it is) and we feel this could lead us to more stress and more anxiety. I will tell you right now I haven't been on a date in years nor moved from my parent's house (I'm 29). These feats are anxiety-producing for me and I feel that NOT getting help leads me to avoid these nerve-racking situations. It's a secondary gain of my anxiety, and one that I wish to defeat with this program.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:53 pm

Hello everyone. All great post!
Just going through the program and posting things has given me anxiety. I am doing so much better, the program does make you feel uneasy esp. if you break all the thoughts down and see how negitive thinking does create anxiety. ( and all the other things this program points out.)After thinking about it, I have changed my thoughts to more soothing things that make me feel better. Writing things down in post, or journels has helped me organize what I am thinking. I hope that we all continue on a peaceful heart, One day at a time.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:06 am

Wow, these posts are what I feel from time to time, but I just wasn't sure how to verbalize them! I second guess myself soo much and have so rare times where I am thinking clearly(does anyone else feel that way??) I guess ya'll do with our way of feeling spacey and OUT OF CONTROL, wow that is the worst thing...I'm trying to control my life and I am so depressed that I feel awful...
JustFine I am wondering about you and the college students, I am a college student and that sounds alot like me,, I put off doing homework and studying b/c I feel like its too much work or I won't understand it or I will get depressed about it becuase it seems like such a monserous thing! And I have been told that I am a very smart girl, so this doesnt make any sense...although I do have to try alot harder with my math and science, compared to my literatue and art, but I find myself comparing myself to other people and thinking that they are smarter than me...
Wow this soo helps to get this out!

I also go over and over in my head my conversations with other people and thinking that they will think i am crazy....but who cares if they think i am crazy...i guess there is alot of shame, blame and guilt involved in me just looking stupid!!!!...i didnt know that this wasnt the way everyone thinks until recently...some people actually arent so hard on themselves, they think "rationally" and healthily and they know how to move forward without guilt, and blame and feeling hopless, we are just as good as these people and now we are getting the skills and tools we need not to be depressed, or anxious or feel not good enough. I didnt even know I was this bad until reading all of this info!!! I can feel good, what??? hahaha, and it helps to be around positive, fun, helpful people...I just lost a friend b/c i was going though so much stuff with switching medications and me being manic depression and I scared the poor guy, I hadnt known him very long and we were starting to be romantically involved-- and I was so anxious and insecure that I was texting him every 2 min and talking about marriage b/c I was scared to loose such a blessing in my life...yesterday I cried about loosing him b/c he was the best thing that ever happened to me, I spoke to my psychologist and she thinks he isnt talking to me b/c some people just dont know what to do in these situations and I am constantly thinking if i can have him in my life sometime in the future(obsessive over thinking), what do u guys think, can i have him in my life again???? My psychologist didnt really adress this!