the relaxation tape makes me angry

rinolinca · Post by **rinolinca** » Sat May 17, 2008 12:33 pm

somebody help me!
i desperately want this to work, but when i do the relaxation tape, i feel squirmy. i can't sit still, and it makes me mad. i don't even know why. when im doing it i just start thinking "this is stupid" i don't deserve this, she pisses me off. i hate this. walking in the forest? forget it. i don't want you with me, i think, i hate you and i hate this and this doesn't work anyway. i want to run away, or do something destructive, or just stop and get up and do something else. i don't even know what.

i do counter it with - of course i deserve this, i want to get better... but it doesn't seem to work.
it is only day 3, but has this ever happened to anyone else?
and this giving up sugar thing?
ha!! f-u! i know im addicted to sugar. i don't care! i want it!
but than again i am trying to cut down, or at least be aware of it because i really am at my wits end and i truly do want to get better.
im doing it, i am. i'm just having a really hard time, and i feel really depressed and hopeless.

please some one tell me they can relate to me?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat May 17, 2008 1:58 pm

i do counter it with - of course i deserve this, i want to get better... but it doesn't seem to work.
it is only day 3, but has this ever happened to anyone else?

I would suggest that it is your anxiety making you squirm. Anxious people are impatient, can't sit still a lot of the time. As you say, it is only day 3 so give it time. Yes a lot of people reply with your same comments. You have developed a lot of bad thinking habits and it will take time to break those habits. A week or two or three are not going to cut it. As the work book says, it can take up to 3 months for you to begin to feel the effects of listening to the relaxation tape.

It's okay to be however you are, angry, impatient, whatever. Just realize that it will take time to break bad habits. A suggestion might be to listen to only half of the tape at a time until you get more accustomed to it or any amount of time you feel you can reasonably achieve. Baby steps is what works. Baby steps towards listening to the whole tape might work for you.

We overreact to a lot that goes on in our lives. It's no big deal. Just break the task down into small steps.

On the countering the negative. It takes time with replacing the negative thoughts. It usually doesn't happen over night. We don't feel the effects of the replacement thoughts immediatley. But over time we begin to buy into what we are saying and we begin to feel the effects. Eventually we can get so good at positive self-talk that we can experience immediate relief sometimes. But, not immediately when we are just beginning to develop it.

What many people find is that the relaxtion tape helps build into them an automatic relaxtion response which helps them during anxious and stressful times and when trying to sleep.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat May 17, 2008 2:08 pm

My thought is dont give up! I am having a pretty bad relapse but have not followed the program like I should. I get anxiety sometimes just sitting here trying to listen and figure out where I am supposed to be in this program. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. I wish I was normal and dont feel like I am.

I have spent most of today trying not to cry. I am in a pretty bad relationship and trying to get out of it makes me worse. I dont know what to do anymore... I have not listened to any tapes in over a week maybe two. I need to get back to the program.

But maybe a lot of people feel like we do...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 19, 2008 10:18 am

I can relate to some degree. I am only on day 4. I am getting a bit annoyed with trying to relax as well! But the better part of me knows that it is essential that I at least act like I am feeling calm, if I want to actually feel calm! Fight the good fight my friend. Keep us posted.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 19, 2008 11:26 am

Maybe instead of the relaxation tape, you could devote your 3 times a day to something like a walk or run, hot bath or shower, reading a good book. Something to treat yourself and give your mind and body a break.
I too have a hard time visualizing with the tape. I just can't "see" what she is talking about but the breathing sure helps.

Angla · Post by **Angla** » Mon May 19, 2008 11:39 am

wow.....first off I think you have some serious issues with anger that you need to address....you purchased this program to change the ways you do things because obviously what your doing isnt making you happy......you cant truely expect to keep everything the same and get better do you? I mean if your not willing to try the things suggested with an open mind and see if they work you cant blame Lucinda the program or anyone else but yourself for your lack of progress.

An alcoholic cant get better if they say screw this I like to drink so I will and then blame the world around them for not recovering....your doing the same thing here.

The fact that you cant sit still long enough to make it through a 1/2 hour tape screams that you definately need it. No one can force you to change or to try these new skills but if and when your ready to approach it with an open mind and really put the effort in I know you will start to see dramatic results and feel so much better. Your anger will be so much less, your energy will be higher, your attitude will be cheerfull and happy, your body will feel better...

Good luck to you...I hope you choose to continue on and do it for yourself.
Dodger

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 19, 2008 6:47 pm

wow,
with the exception of the last one, that was incredibly helpful.
thank you so much for being so supportive and understanding.
man, i can't tell you what a relief it was to know that i'm not alone, and that this can still work for me.
it makes me laugh to see how impatient i am- but i know that that's just how a lot of us are.

but, i just kept going, and these last two days, i haven't been able to really relax yet but it does feel like such a relief to do something good for myself.

reading the other posts on this forum did also make me realize- so what if i think this or that negative thing- what have i got to lose by doing this anyway? , i'm doing something nice for myself; how can that be bad?
and you know, for a few fleeting moments, my head gets kinda quiet.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:10 am

I struggle with the exact same issue - I can't be still enough to listen to the relax CD and then I'm angry at myself. I have trouble relaxing at all and it is scary.

Thanks for your post. Have you had any success with the suggestions below?

Amber

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:23 am

a big part of our anxiety problem is that we need to learn how to relax. It took me a while to learn how to relax and let go. Keep trying. Also make sure you are listening to the cd in a relaxed place without anyone or any noise to bother you.
It takes time, don't give up. I know it's frustrating but a big part of it is learning how to relax. As far as sugar and caffeine are concerned, you should try to cut down if not stop
it completely. I didn't totally eliminate sugar and caffeine but did cut down and I have felt a lot
calmer. & as another member has said above, try to do relaxing things you enjoy too.

Good Luck & don't get discouraged

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:38 am

In the beginning stages of our cure we are so much in our heads that we can't see the forest for the trees. This includes having difficulty with relaxation. With daily practice, however, your mind begins to calm down and relaxation becomes possible. Meditation is really nothing more then watching your thoughts come and go without your attachment to them. No judgment. No criticism. Just watching. In time, again with practice, you'll notice more and more space inbetween the noise/chatter.

I would recommend that you meditate five minutes before each use of the relaxation tape. Just sit and watch your thoughts come and go. Doesn't matter what their content is. Just watch. Then use your relaxation tape. You can increase the meditation to 10 minutes if you wish or whatever time you have.