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Stock Lady · Post by **Stock Lady** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:09 am

I am not afraid of many things. I can fly, drive cross country in an RV. I compete with my dogs and when they win I am happy and when they lose I am unhappy. I often feel that the judges didn't like me when I lose. Often I judge all the performances myself, (I am qualified to do so) and when I feel I was unfairly beaten, I obsess about it, and it makes me feel bad for days. I replay the events over and over in my mind. I also am a stock broker, when the market is up we feel good, when it goes down I feel stressed, I will overeat and sometimes have a drink. I take wellbutrin, which eliminated a lot of those feeling when I first took it, but I need to take over, drugs can't do everything. When the dogs don't do well I take it out verbally on my trainer, then I feel guilty. Any suggestions?

New Stace · Post by **New Stace** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:44 am

You registered in late October, so I am guessing you are a few sessions into the program? Every thing you are having trouble with here (expectations, too high expectations, guilt, anger) can be very well worked through until your thinking changes. Every session builds on the next to come, and in the end, you will have changed yourself so much, the problems here will seem a long time in your past. In the meantime, I hope you can use the simple stop sign Lucinda talks about -- holding your hand in front of your face and simply telling yourself to stop. Do this before you give anyone a verbal thrashing of any kind. People feel very devalued when someone is verbally unkind to them. Remind yourself before you do this that not only will you feel bad, but so will the recipient. Kind regards.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:20 am

Thank you for your reply. After posting my problem I felt better. I later got some positive news from my Dr and that made me feel better. Maybe that was what was really bothering me. I was going to give my trainer a lecture again but by the end of the day I wasn't obsessing over it anymore. I told him he could repeat my last lecture to himself and he didn't remember what it was. LOL Thank God he ignores me when I get like that. If I really get bad he stops taking my phone calls. He called me and told me the dog did well today but he saw a run that was better than hers. Maybe she will be runner up. Now I am raising my expectations again. He said she did a great job, I'll accept that. I have learn to be happy on my own, not because this happened or that happened. Everytime I reach one of my lofty goals, I don't enjoy the accomplishment, I want more.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:29 am

My grandfather has been gone a long time, but when I was disappointed because of unrealistic expectations about things, he used to remind me: The happiest people are the people who already have what they most want.