Post
by InChaos63 » Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:04 pm
Hey all. Well, today was the end of day two for me and starting over. Hey Luck, I think that you're doing great. It would be really easy to feel overwhelmed when you have so much participation on a thread that you started. Up until just recently, you were trying to cope without the program and trying to make it without the help and support you would get from friends on this site. Now that you started this thread, you re-opened some eyes of people who really knew they needed to start over, but just needed that lit'l extra kick of encouragment to jump back in. Some of us can relate to that. Probably a lot more than are actually posting. Which is fine too, because even if you don't post, but want to start over and really get it right, that's awesome. If you get started, then walk away from it, for any reason, it really produces its own anxiety. Which may add to its own depression, or failing thoughts. It really can be a viscious circle. We can be our own worst enemy, which I am mine. I hated myself for spending so much money, thinking I'm feeling better, then falling off the program. Then hating myself again for getting enough motivation to start again. So thanks for that, Luck. You, and this thread, have given me the motivation to really go for it this time, all the way.
Girl Wisdom, you are really an inspiration with your beautiful pictures and your thought provoking poems. New Found Hope has some wonderful sayings and poems that I have also found to be quite inspirational as well and she had also helped me when I was first getting started. There is much to learn from the folks that have stuck with it and stick around to help those of us who lose our way and come back. She is like a big mama loon, to use that term loosely. Of course, I don't know if a loon is a male or a female, or both. Oh boy, I might just be digging a hole that I can't get out of. Laughter is good, we can't always be sooo serious about everything. Back to you Girl, I know what it means to have troubled sleep. I bought one of those sleep number beds the bionic woman advertises on tv, thinking it would help me sleep. Maybe some bionic sleep, perhaps. My little dogs take up the center and I think that they get better sleep than I do. Even being off a caffeine, my sleep is horrible. My mind races nonstop and it seems like I think about everything under the sun. Finally I fall asleep, just to wake up and be wide awake, sure as can be it's time to get up for work. Even though it's midnight, or two, or three in the morning. Maybe it's ocd, I'm not sure, but I'm looking forward to getting a sleep study. So, you keep up those great sayings and poems. I think that they help us all.
Hey Diane, thanks for recognizing the Starting Over Overers. I had been afraid of even having a little caffeine. Today for me is day 10 with no caffeine. Even decaf, because it has still a small amount of caffeine still in it, makes me a little nervous. The guy at Starbuck's says to just go to decaf, but since I've been off of it completely, I'm thinking my body is going to recognize it. My problem is, like I am also being an alcoholic, is that the thought of wanting it doesn't go away. Any stressful situation, and I'm thinking, man, I need a soda, or even a beer. Mmmm, a nice cold Budweiser. Addictions are tough to fight. I think that you saying what you said about how you felt when you had some caffeine after being off of it kind of solidified my feelings. I don't want to feel that way. You have to overcome all those withdrawl symptoms, which for me was, and still is, terrible headaches. I'm sorry that you had to go through that when you did. For me, caffeine is harder to quit than alcohol. The only way for me to quit is cold turkey. It's hard, but it's the only way that works for me. Everyone is different. So, good luck to you, Dianne. And good luck to the rest of you out there fighting those demons. This thread, and this site in general, is just an awesome source of support and I am so glad to be getting to know you all, again. Take care, be strong, and never, ever give up on ourselves. Matt
Hi again. Just finished my day 1 all but the session 1 cd. I'll do that after my last relaxation session of the day. For some reason I can't seem to get into the journalling. I did it, but just can't seem to relax and get into it. I haven't really done any theraputic journalling before, maybe that's why. However, I'll keep doing it and maybe I will become more comfortable with it. 
