Long Distance Relationships/Marriage
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Guest
Ron.. I can actually put some inputin this first had. I am ingaged to a gentleman who works 100 miles away. I met him through eharmony. I lived 60 miles away fom where he lived.. which is 100 miles away. complicated I know. We dated for a year and saw each other only on the weekends. He is a widower and I a divorcee. We have a wonderful relationship..on the weekends. It got to the point where we missed each other the minute he left my town, or I left his. So we decided on me moving in with him. I agreed, at least we had more time on the weekends. And when I didn't have a job, I would drive up and stay with him on Fridays and go to dinner and spend the night. So our relationship has worded forgoing on three years. He, like you has looked for work closer to home, he hates being away, and hates Monday mornings when he has to leave. He is up for retirement n a few years, and we talk a lot about that. I am faithful to him, and vice versa. I don't tknow if this hlps any, but our relationship is working this way. A lot of people ask how, not seeing each other. We talk a lot on cell phones. And the times we spend together is quality time. I guess we truely love each other.. we must. I guess you and your lady just have to sit down and discuss what is going on. You have to let her in on what is troubling you, that may help you also. I hope this helps some.
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Guest
Ron,
I have to be honest here....I am also a woman who has been married three times. I made two apparently bad choices (cheaters). I am keeping the third one! Since I have been there know that I am not holding that against this woman, you must explore what has happened in those past relationships though. She clearly either isn't going to bend or isn't trusting you enough to make the move herself. If she isn't bending are you always going to be the one who bends until you break in this relationship? If it is a trust issue perhaps that needs addressed. I know first hand the amount of baggage one can acquire from two failed marriages and she's had three. You end up not trusting your partner or even your own judgment. This seems to be a very complex situation. This is your life and you deserve to be happy with someone who truly loves and trusts you. I think maybe you should step back and examine this logically. Maybe she isn't a risk taker or something. There is clearly something stopping her and you are left to do all the bending. Compromise is not one person bending until they break. Don't fool yourself into thinking it is your job to do all the compromising. It's not. Please use caution here as I just get the feeling you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Take it from someone who has walked in the divorced woman's shoes...something is telling me she isn't ready for this.
I have to be honest here....I am also a woman who has been married three times. I made two apparently bad choices (cheaters). I am keeping the third one! Since I have been there know that I am not holding that against this woman, you must explore what has happened in those past relationships though. She clearly either isn't going to bend or isn't trusting you enough to make the move herself. If she isn't bending are you always going to be the one who bends until you break in this relationship? If it is a trust issue perhaps that needs addressed. I know first hand the amount of baggage one can acquire from two failed marriages and she's had three. You end up not trusting your partner or even your own judgment. This seems to be a very complex situation. This is your life and you deserve to be happy with someone who truly loves and trusts you. I think maybe you should step back and examine this logically. Maybe she isn't a risk taker or something. There is clearly something stopping her and you are left to do all the bending. Compromise is not one person bending until they break. Don't fool yourself into thinking it is your job to do all the compromising. It's not. Please use caution here as I just get the feeling you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Take it from someone who has walked in the divorced woman's shoes...something is telling me she isn't ready for this.