So, as I stated, this is the third time I'm starting this program, and I intend to go through the whole thing this time. It really started to work the 2nd time, but I quit right in the middle of it.
But, just like the 2nd time, I'm starting to have issues with anger - and I mean RAGE.
I'm (for the lack of a better word) pissed off at EVERYONE - especially those who I feel helped contribute to my current state. (I realize it's our nature to blame people, but in some cases, people HAVE caused my anxiety symptoms).
For the past day and a half, when I'm not trying to relax, I'm seething just thinking of certain people, and wanting to email them and try and hurt them the way they hurt me. I don't like this anger, and I don't think I'd really email someone and tell them exactly what I think of them (and in the rudest, most blunt way I possibly could)but I *want* to. I obsess about it. I just want those people that hurt me to hurt and suffer like I'm doing.
BUT - I won't do that. I don't want ANYONE to hurt. Does that make sense?
I have a conscience (thankfully)...but the thoughts themselves cause so much anger, and that leads to sheer exhaustion.
Anyone else so angry that they want to lash out - and then realize that forgiveness and letting go are the keys to happiness?
*sighs*
This is tough.
Anger
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SomeWhereOvertheRainbow
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:52 pm
I am right there with ya!!! Were you raised to be a people-pleaser? I've spent my life doing just that at the expense of my own happiness. Like you, I have RAGE! I want to tell hurtful co-workers or relatives EXACTLY what I think of them BUT PEOPLE PLEASERS can't do that! Right? We wouldn't be NICE! I let others take advantage of me me,push work off on me and treat me in unkind ways and I AM SO FURIOUS! My anxiety progressed past panic attacks when I was in my 20's. Now, it is just obsessive worry and ANGER! I am not sure how much of my anger is rational or irrational and have no skills for dealing with it. How could I deal with it? I wouldn't be a nice person, right? I'm stuck on lesson 3 but need to get moving on to ANGER I think. I understand. Somewhere.....
Hi,
Session 8 is about anger. How do I know? I spent two weeks on it and it is the session I keep going back to.
It's not unusual to falter at session 3, but the other sessions build on the beginning so don't give up just yet. It's also not uncommon to get stuck on a certain point.
The concept that negative thinking is nothing but a bad habit is revolutionary to me. It means I can unlearn this and move on to more useful coping skills. So be patient with yourselves and don't be upset that you're angry. Who knows how long you've been stuffing that down inside? It's healthy to let it out (in a controlled way) so it's not eating you alive.
If I may offer one more thing: the anger you nurse and hold onto will hurt you much more than the people you're mad at. That's not to say that you like the way you've been treated, but it's for your sake that you want to let go and move on. They're not worth it. If it's still bothering you, write it all down. I do that sometimes and then I burn the paper as a symbolic way to rid myself of the problems.
Keep on keeping on. The rewards are really worth it!
Les
Session 8 is about anger. How do I know? I spent two weeks on it and it is the session I keep going back to.
It's not unusual to falter at session 3, but the other sessions build on the beginning so don't give up just yet. It's also not uncommon to get stuck on a certain point.
The concept that negative thinking is nothing but a bad habit is revolutionary to me. It means I can unlearn this and move on to more useful coping skills. So be patient with yourselves and don't be upset that you're angry. Who knows how long you've been stuffing that down inside? It's healthy to let it out (in a controlled way) so it's not eating you alive.
If I may offer one more thing: the anger you nurse and hold onto will hurt you much more than the people you're mad at. That's not to say that you like the way you've been treated, but it's for your sake that you want to let go and move on. They're not worth it. If it's still bothering you, write it all down. I do that sometimes and then I burn the paper as a symbolic way to rid myself of the problems.
Keep on keeping on. The rewards are really worth it!
Les
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learningtobreathe
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:04 pm
Hello,
I know what you mean. I was working with a singer/producer for almost a year. He helped me a lot, but also my in-abilities to speak up and for him to hear me when I did, sent me into a tailspin. I feel so angry and it makes me sad to know that both our inablilities have taken the good times and turned them into bad. This anger issue is huge for me. I don't know how to do it. How to talk, even sometime, I guess I deny my anger. How do I get to the other side? I feel like I want to blame him but I also want to thank him, because eventhought this is painful, I know I needed to be aware of my weakness and confront it. Now that it is here, I haven't a clue what to do. I guess I have to take more risks, but I am scared. I have done so many things in my life that were truly scarey, and I am so confused why I am so afraid of just speaking words. Words that I know would make me feel better to some extent, but I feel would hurt others. I just reordered this self help plan as I have realized, that stress has taken over my life again and I need to take it back. Good luck to you. I know how you feel and applaude you for walking through and being honest.
I know what you mean. I was working with a singer/producer for almost a year. He helped me a lot, but also my in-abilities to speak up and for him to hear me when I did, sent me into a tailspin. I feel so angry and it makes me sad to know that both our inablilities have taken the good times and turned them into bad. This anger issue is huge for me. I don't know how to do it. How to talk, even sometime, I guess I deny my anger. How do I get to the other side? I feel like I want to blame him but I also want to thank him, because eventhought this is painful, I know I needed to be aware of my weakness and confront it. Now that it is here, I haven't a clue what to do. I guess I have to take more risks, but I am scared. I have done so many things in my life that were truly scarey, and I am so confused why I am so afraid of just speaking words. Words that I know would make me feel better to some extent, but I feel would hurt others. I just reordered this self help plan as I have realized, that stress has taken over my life again and I need to take it back. Good luck to you. I know how you feel and applaude you for walking through and being honest.