This morning was a very stressful morning for me. I woke up feeling very anxious and called in from work today (I pulled the sick child card..so tired of doing that!) I was supposed to go to the dentist today but I was very anxious about going since I had a panic attack last time I went and I demanded that the dentist call the ambulance. Once again, everything was fine. I really wanted my boyfriend to go with me but he was not able to so I didn't even go. I could not bring myself to think positive about the situation. I ended up getting in the car and driving to the ER parking lot and sitting there for an hour (I felt so crazy for doing that but it was the only thing that could make me feel better) I found a number for a crisis hotline in VA and called immediately and once I talked to someone who I felt cared I felt much better. She suggested I try to make an appointment with my Dr to see about getting on something to calm me down since I am anxious all the time. So instead of the Dentist, I ended up going to the Dr to try and get some medication to get through my days to the point that I can concentrate on LIFE. Driving there was the worst and I was really anxious the entire time, especially due to the traffic but the Dr was refreshing and reassuring and did prescribe me Lexapro and Zanax but I cannot bring myself to take them yet. She gave me a months worth of samples of Lexapro and gave me a prescription for Zanax and told me to come back to see her and follow-up in 3 weeks. When I went to get the Zanax filled I told myself that while I was waiting to get my prescription filled I was going to force myself to do something for myself to take steps to recovery. I am so proud of myself. I actually went and got my nails and eyebrows done. I sat there the entire time and forced myself to think I would be out of there soon and everything would be fine. Although I was having a little anxiety I felt wonderful after I was done. I used positive self talk to get me through. Now I a home and laying on the couch listening to Tape 1 for the third time this week. It has always been hard for me to sit in my home alone. I always end of getting nervous or panicky about a body sensation but I have noticed that since I am calmer I do not get the body aches and pains as much. Don't get me wrong, the nervousness and anxiety are there but just less forceful.
I am so PROUD OF MYSELF TODAY. tonight will be even better because my family and I are going to the circus!
So I am off to pick up my 7 year old from the bus.
Wish me luck in this challenging journey and I wish the same to all of you! We will get through this! And if anyone has any advice on taking the meds I would love it!
Meagan
Morning was bad, but afternoon MUCH better!
I know exactly what you are going through. My anxiety is worse in the morning especially the body symptoms but like you I am scared of the medications. I always want to call into work sick but once I get in the car and start going even though I am anxious for a little while after I feel great once I get myself going and by the end of the day I can go home and relax and know I got through the day and that what I was experiencing was only anxiety. Its like what Lucinda says in the program is the only way to get rid of the anxiety is to conquer the fear! Hope this helps and it seems to me you are doing great!!
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mrollins0931
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2008 8:27 pm
Rosalie1,
Thanks for your encouraging words. I'm glad you can relate to me on these things. Getting up and going is so challenging for me. Its crazy because although I got the meds prescribed and filled, they just sit in my purse and medicine cabinet. I just have heard too many people tell me that their meds actually made them feel worse so I am determined to change my thinking and obsessive thoughts and get my life back better than before. My morning is always worse because one of my main fears is being alone and this is the time of the day that everyone in my household goes their separate ways. Conquering the fear is my main goal. I am slowly beginning to do this and once I do it, I feel great! Today my boyfriend left the house and at first it seemed too much for me to handle but I realized that it was only because I was obsessing about it. Once I realized this, I immediately changed my focus and went and played checkers with my son and let him read a book to me. I felt so much better! This program is helping me so much. If not for this program, when my boyfriend left, I would have hit extreme panic mode, calling my Mom crying for help and answers and then calling my boyfriend every 30 mins to see when he was coming home.
I am learning so much about myself.
Thanks for your encouraging words. I'm glad you can relate to me on these things. Getting up and going is so challenging for me. Its crazy because although I got the meds prescribed and filled, they just sit in my purse and medicine cabinet. I just have heard too many people tell me that their meds actually made them feel worse so I am determined to change my thinking and obsessive thoughts and get my life back better than before. My morning is always worse because one of my main fears is being alone and this is the time of the day that everyone in my household goes their separate ways. Conquering the fear is my main goal. I am slowly beginning to do this and once I do it, I feel great! Today my boyfriend left the house and at first it seemed too much for me to handle but I realized that it was only because I was obsessing about it. Once I realized this, I immediately changed my focus and went and played checkers with my son and let him read a book to me. I felt so much better! This program is helping me so much. If not for this program, when my boyfriend left, I would have hit extreme panic mode, calling my Mom crying for help and answers and then calling my boyfriend every 30 mins to see when he was coming home.
I am learning so much about myself.
Hi Meagan and Rosaslie1,
I just started week one. I've been feeling like such a failure because it took me so long just to start.
As for the medicines, I found out when I was 23 that I had epilepsy so I HAD to start taking medication. Since then I've learned that medication is only scarey when you don't know what it's going to feel like or what it's doing in your body. With the antdepressants, they're mostly just slowing the anxiety chemicals in your brain down (or making your brain not as sensative to them). When I started medicine, I started with a tiny piece of a pill and worked up really slowly. Now my doctor has me on Clonazapam and it really does take away that feeling of panic I had. I still feel really depressed, but not as paniky. And I don't feel drugged or anything.
If it helps, start REALLY SLOWLY with the medicine. Like just a piece of one. Hang in there! (Wish ME luck too!)
I just started week one. I've been feeling like such a failure because it took me so long just to start.
As for the medicines, I found out when I was 23 that I had epilepsy so I HAD to start taking medication. Since then I've learned that medication is only scarey when you don't know what it's going to feel like or what it's doing in your body. With the antdepressants, they're mostly just slowing the anxiety chemicals in your brain down (or making your brain not as sensative to them). When I started medicine, I started with a tiny piece of a pill and worked up really slowly. Now my doctor has me on Clonazapam and it really does take away that feeling of panic I had. I still feel really depressed, but not as paniky. And I don't feel drugged or anything.
If it helps, start REALLY SLOWLY with the medicine. Like just a piece of one. Hang in there! (Wish ME luck too!)
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mrollins0931
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2008 8:27 pm
actsk8flm-
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and experience with medicine. Like I said, I do have the prescription for Lexapro and Xanax. Today, I was so down and panicky that I decided to give it a try after I revisited your post. My doc prescribed me .25 mg of Xanax, 1 pill 3 times a day as needed, but I only took half of the pill. I took it about 3 1/2 hours ago and I can honestly say I am more at peace and you are right, I was only afraid because I did not know how it was going to make me feel. I don't feel drugged or sluggish at all I but I def feel the effects ( in a good way) but I also know I feel better. Thanks for the insight. My depresssion stems from my anxiety and panic attacks so I am hoping that the Xanax taking the edge off will help me deal with my depression as well.
Wish you luck!
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and experience with medicine. Like I said, I do have the prescription for Lexapro and Xanax. Today, I was so down and panicky that I decided to give it a try after I revisited your post. My doc prescribed me .25 mg of Xanax, 1 pill 3 times a day as needed, but I only took half of the pill. I took it about 3 1/2 hours ago and I can honestly say I am more at peace and you are right, I was only afraid because I did not know how it was going to make me feel. I don't feel drugged or sluggish at all I but I def feel the effects ( in a good way) but I also know I feel better. Thanks for the insight. My depresssion stems from my anxiety and panic attacks so I am hoping that the Xanax taking the edge off will help me deal with my depression as well.
Wish you luck!